Thread: Annoyed at not getting respect

Can someone explain to me way when men call it babysitting when they stay at home with the kids while women are at work? It isn't babysitting when they are your own kids you big jerk. Also can someone explain to me why the kids somehow always act ten times worse when Dad's take care of them, then when the mom has them? They are perfect angels for us mom's right (not). I am so tired of not getting any respect and being taken for granted.
I am so tired of everything being laid at my feet. (Housework, paying bills, Taxi cab for kids, cooking and working) I get no help from my 18 year old unless she wants to which is rare. DH will not help me because he thinks he doesn't have to do it and say 18 years can do it. I know that she should help and that will be changing by me. But what about him I went back to work not because I wanted to but because I had no choice I thought he would at least help me but it seems he only resents me now because I am working. (which again I did because I had to and he knows it) When and what I get cleaned between work and sleep get screwed up five minutes after I leave because the little ones are allowed to do it by DH because they just get on his last nerve so he lets them run crazy. Then he yells at them thinking that is going to work. I fuss at them myself I realize I am not perfect but he really annoys me because for the most part he is just being a man. Sorry to the few men out there that actually respect and help there wifes.

You are preaching to the choir, hon, preaching to the choir.


No advice, but

I hear ya and honestly that is one of the reasons I am actually glad about being single again... no one to rely on and then only to disappoint me or lie about saying they will help. I know I have to do it all and there is no one to bit ch about how its done lol

Originally Posted by cpbaby

You are preaching to the choir, hon, preaching to the choir.


No advice, but

Same here

I know just what you mean! First of all, Dads that say they will "babysit" for us is just crazy annoying. My DH does it as well. And the ironic part is that when his daughter was younger, I never called it babysitting for him when I took care of her.

As far as the picking up around the house, I am at my wits end as well. As I walked to the computer tonight, I picked up a gum wrapper off the livingroom floor. GRRR.

I think that they know it is going to be done so who cares. I told my son that if he does not stop leaving dishes and wrappers around, I am going to start throwing food containers on his bed room floor and see how he likes it.

In the 11 years dh and I have been married he has made a meal maybe 3 times. He has actually let the kids go hungry because I wasn't there to make a meal, there was plenty of food in the house. He was just upset cause I was out with my step-mom for a girls day out...That was about 2 years ago. I haven't been able to do anything like that because I know he won't feed the kids or do anything else.

When I get to a certain point I stop doing....I stop picking things up...stop cleaning...stop pretty much everything. Dh will finally get to where he can't stand it and will start b**ching about it and will start cleaning...at least I get some help someway. btw I can't stand the house being messy but I refuse to do it all.

And his mom thinks I have him wrapped around my finger...LOL yea right....

so I know what you mean

Wow.. my dh is a butthead in so many ways, but not that way. He doesnt call it " babysitting" when its our kids. Technically 3 out of the 5 at home are "mine". He would also NEVER let the kids go hungry. He will cook, or at least get them some ramen noodles or something. ( of course mine are 11-18) but even when they were small he would fix them food. He is also a clean person, and will get the kids off their butts and clean their messes. He gets them to do it better than me.
Like I said, he is a butt in other ways, but in that area I have no problems and I am sorry you guys have to deal with men that dont realize they are fathers with responsibilities . good luck

Wow makes me glad I have a husband who I came home from working 3rd shift last night he had the dishes out of the dishwasher that I put in last night and he just finished the vaccuming and did the stairs too and washed the windows outside today. My DD cooked supper tonight granted they are not perfecty and i run my arse off thru the week but when I need help I dont have to ask.

I am with DBD go on strike see how they like it for a while!!

Makes me appreciate my DH all the more. He is such a wonderful help to me....I don't work outside the home and I still couldn't manage without him!