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I swear: we are related.
My 35 year old brother still lives at home, refuses to work, and wants my parents to pay his child support (they do).
His house was foreclosed, and somehow that was MY FAULT because we would not pay his bill for him: when he was down and out. He was lazy and stupid. He has a degree, and was teaching but lost his license when he messed around with 2 freshman girls and got in TROUBLE.
I refused to help, told him to get a JOB, get a life, and GROW UP.
I was told I was selfish and mean. For his birthday (33) my mom wanted to have a big party for him: to cheer him up. I gave him the want ads and a yellow hi-liter.
I have not spoken to my parents in 2 years.
You do not OWE any grown adult anything. They are supposed to be responsible for themselves. I understand wanting to take the food: and that is nice, but that is all I would do.
Last edited by jedmatters; 11-26-2008 at 08:55 PM.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jedmatters For This Useful Post:
DAVESBABYDOLL (11-29-2008),LitWtch (11-27-2008)
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11-26-2008 05:49 PM
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Circuit advertisement
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Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.
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Ugh, what a disaster. I have a similar type in my family also, though you would think they were saints if you asked my parents/siblings. They are the type who don't want the food we offer, but want the cash so they can choose what they want. WTH? If your hungry for food for your family wouldn't you take whatever you can get? I'd just tell them that you aren't in a position to offer help, but you will share what you have and if that isn't good enough then they didn't want the help anyway. No one will better themselves if everything is handed to them on a silver platter. Stick to your guns!~
MeMe
Mommy to
Greta Simone,
Fiona Sydney
&
Scarlett Cecily
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tell your money grubbing brother to go screw someone else you are done if they are to proud to get help the way most people in need are then let the little punk go without
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Tell him one of two things..either
#1 to "MAN UP" and do what he needs to do to live, without family members money.Swallow his pride and go to their local Job and Family Services.
#2 to Fark off, no one owes him a &%$#@%@ thing,the sooner he realizes that,the better eveyone will be.
Don't give in, you can love family, it doesn't mean you have to like them.
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The Following User Says Thank You to DAVESBABYDOLL For This Useful Post:
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There's one in every family, isn't there? lol
My mother spent every dime she had on my brother. The rest of us never asked for anything, and that's just what we got. Well, unless you count self respect. I have no idea how he manages, now that mom is gone. I assume he has a lucrative career in shoplifting. I have no idea where he is, and I'm eternally grateful.
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Originally Posted by
LitWtch
I know what *I* would tell him....
You know - DH was unemployed for 5 weeks. We collected a small unemployment check, his military "pension", and my pay check. We are behind on some bills, while others have been very understanding and waved one months payment. We managed. We are still struggling, we asked two of my brothers for small loans so we could eat. We have to pay that back. Fortuantely my girls are at school and have a safe, warm place to sleep and eat decently.
Point being, you do what you have to do to survive. You do without, you loose a bit of pride and you ask appropriate agencies taht area prepared for such requests for help, otherwise, you shut up and deal with it. But you certainly do not expect others to pull *YOUR* weight on their shoulders. Tell him to buck up and help himeself before expecting others to help him.
very well put -- however... (lol)... somehow I don't think this is how you would say it in real life ....
course, then again, it's not how I would say it either.
LOL
2 days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
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The Following User Says Thank You to atprm For This Useful Post:
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~*Masquerading as a
NORMAL person, day after day, is EXHAUSTING!*~
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When he asks for money just say you don't have any and you were just about to call him and ask for $1500 for Christmas and some food. That stopped my leechy brother from ever asking me for anything again.
My Mom gives tons to my brother. She gave him $10K down for his house and held his mortgage. He found out and quit paying. She bought him 2 brand new cars in his life and her screwed her there too. She gave him another $5K 4 years ago. She has also given him thousands in bonds. He knows her only when he wants something. My family live in my Moms house (my name is on it too) and we pay all the bills. I drive her everwhere, take care of all her whims and make all her calls. Hubby does her laundry and we clean her floor of the house. I recently asked her if she had bonds for me since we could really use the $$$ and I'd like to buy some christmas gifts for the boys. (They are older 18-24). She wanted to know what we do with all our money. WHAT? We live on $700 a month which includes me, hubby and 2 boys in college. She gets $1700 and pays for nothing but her incidentals. Gues it is OK if I need it for a new dodge or bankruptcy. My brother is 49 and has gone bankrupt 3 times. I may be slow at paying but at least I pay.
I needed to vent.
Me
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