Thread: mean little boy

my daughter is 3 and in a preschool where the parents go with them. There is a little boy that singles my daughter, Makayla, out and hits and pushes her. It started about 4 weeks ago and every time we go to class he does something mean to her and a few other kids. I've talked to the teacher 2 times. She hasn't done anything about it. So last Tuesday, the little boy grabbed some necklaces from Makayla and started whipping her with them. I said (very loudly but i didn't yell) be nice gage. He immediately stopped and then ran over to another kid and tried to take a toy away from him. Later that same day, the little boy pushed my daughter into the wall. The mom was standing right next to me and didn't say anything. The teacher's helper said you need to say sorry to makayla. (Of course he didn't. Whenever I ask him to apologize he laughs and runs away.) Anyway, the mom just turned and walked away. I was really upset. My little girl doesn't do anything to deserve being hurt. One time he chased her around, the whole time she was crying when she stopped running he came up behind her and hit her in the back of her head. Anyway, I finally fed up with her getting hurt. So I told another mom that she was pushed again by that little boy and the mom didn't do anything about it. I said it loud enough for his mom to hear. I then talked to the teacher yet again. Trying to understand why they would let a kid that is this mean and shows no remorse when he hurts someone stay at school. She said she would talk to the mom. So today when we went to school the mom told me she needed to talk to me. So her, and her husband, the teacher and I sat down and talked. She told me that i verbally abused her son by telling him to be nice. She then told me i was a bad example to my kids. Then she said i had anger issues and was an angery person. All of it is so untrue. I just don't want my daughter getting hurt anymore. I told her that my 18 month old knows that he can't hit or be mean or he'll be put in time out. He has better manners than her 3 year old. She told me i needed to zip my lips and stop talking about her kid. I feel that every parent in the class should know that he's aggressive and mean and to watch their kids around him. She totally missed the point. This whole thing isn't about her or me, which she made it, it's about her son being mean to my daughter. she never acknowledged the fact that he hits and pushes her. She then said my daughter was riding on a trike outside and ran over her daughters foot but she didn't get upset at my daughter. I told her it was an accident my kids are raised to respect other people and she would never hurt anyone on purpose. She even had the nerve to tell me that all the times he has hit and pushed her was on accident. Which is such a LIE! I've watched him. She hasn't.The teacher says I can't take sides. But I don't think there is a side. He's mean to her. It's that cut and dry. Sorry this is so long. I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do.

Is your daughter big enough to holler at him "DON'T HIT ME!" really loud where it will get everyone's attention in the room including his stupid mother and the blind teacher? Maybe if she started hollering at him every time he hurt her it would embarrass his parents enough that they would make him stay away from her, because you know if your daughter hollered at him everytime he hurt her the whole room would start looking at his parents to see what their reaction would be. And no one wants a whole room of negative attention being focused at them.
Good Luck

she's told him to stop it. but that's a great idea. my husband thinks i should just let her beat him up, he's a skinny little brat, but i don't think that's a good idea. she usually doesn't yell but i think that might work.

also, she's broken her arm 3 times in the same place in the past year. her dr. said if she brakes it again she'll have to have surgery. i told her teacher that if he pushes her and she brakes it i'm sueing. i just don't want any child to be hurt by him. i think if his parents don't start doing some diciplining he's going to grow up and seriously hurt or kill someone. i know thats probably irrational but he shows no remorse. anyway, i'll see if she'll yell at him....ya never know it might work. thanks

Do you have a digital camera that records video? If so, take it with you to the pre-school and act like you are taking pictures that day. Catch him on video doing some of this. After you have the evidence, go to the coordinator of the pre-school and let him/her see it. Tell them that that the teacher has done nothing to prevent this child from consistently assaulting your little girl. Maybe you can get some help at that point. Kids will be kids, but if this child is zeroing in on your child like this every day, then he is a bully that needs to be stopped now before he turns into a teenager and seriously hurts someone.

In my school district, you would be able to charge the child with assult...they have a zero tolerance policy for threats and contact..... I'm not sure if its been tested but I would speak to the director and request a meeting between yourself, the teacher and the other parent....maybe if you go over the teacher, something would be done....

Go over the teachers head, obviously she isn't watching out for the kids best interest. I would talk to who ever is in charge. I am truly sorry your little girl is dealing with this at such a young tender age. I have one that is also 3. If he leaves one physical mark on her though I would also suggest filling assault charges at the least it may keep this child away from your daughter. Good luck to you and your daughter.

I would go to the owner of the preschool and put him/her on notice. Let the owner know that if ANY child gets hurt on the property due to this child that the school can be sued & held liable. Also stress to the owner that your child is NOT the only one being hurt by this boy.
Can you speak to some of the other parents & present a united front to the owner/director as this may have a greater influence over her. They always tend to listen if they think their bottom line will be effected.
I also think taping what is going on is a great idea. If you can, go there at different times during the day (& multi days) and tape this boy's interaction with different students. Let them see what a liablity having him in the school is.