Thread: Holiday Eating Tips

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. if something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. as for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Fantastic! :

Martha Washington Balls
(These old fashioned candies taste like Almond joys. They are a favorite of mine during the holidays)

2 boxes of confectioner's sugar
1 stick of butter (1/2 cup), softened
(must use real butter, no substitutes)
1-14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 tsp pure almond extract
1-14 oz bag pkg. shredded coconut
1 1/2 cups chopped nuts
1-12 oz. pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 bar paraffin

Cream together sugar and butter in a bowl;add milk. Stir in almond extract,coconut and nuts;mix well. Form candy into 1 inch balls. Place on waxed paper and refrigerate for 3 hours. Melt paraffin and chocolate in top of double boiler, stirring well. Remove from heat but allow chocolate to remain over hot water. (If chocolate becomes too thick, return to heat for a minute or so to thin). With toothpick, dip each ball in chocolate and place on waxed paper to set.

Alternatives:
1. Just use melted chocolate chips w/o the paraffin. It is more difficult to get good coverage, messy and frustrating. You will not get the shine but you are not eating paraffin, if that bothers you. (Shocking news: Most chocolates that you buy have paraffin mixed with the chocolate.)

2. Use melted almond bark with a little vegetable oil or crisco added to get even coverage. Place dipped candies in the freezer for five minutes, to get the shine. (Almond bark will make the candies sweeter).