Thread: I am so proud of my 13 yr old daughter

I've got two fairly grown girls - 20 and 16. Both made great grades this year, and both have given me their fair share of growing pains. I am thankful for them each and every moment - that being said, I thank God they are nowhere NEAR what I was like at either age! They are truly beter people than I had been - so I guess I couldn't have been too bad to have raised them this way!

I also think rude kids are in the eyes of the beholder. Some people raise kids who swear at them and even hit them, and these parents don't see anything wrong. Others have kids that will say "I'll be right there Mom" a smidge too loudly and their parents think they are talking back to them (raising my hand here). I think we need to take this into consideration, too. I know not all kids go through a "stage," but MOST do try your patience somewhere around 11-14 (some beyond that).

I have people tell me all the time that my daughters are the best behaved, most respectful children they've ever met (this includes family as well as strangers), but right around 12 years old they both tested the waters with me. They never raised their voice with me or talked back, but they'd get a bit moody, lazy, and/or had a little tone in their answers. Most people would not see that as any big deal, but it was with me when I went through it. lol

They are now 17 and 14 and as sweet as can be. And, yes, they have looked back on their terrible 12s and now apologize to me for how they behaved. They now constantly tell me what a great mother I am and thank me for taking good care of them.

I think when they hit puberty it is consfusing to some kids on why they act a certain way because their hormones are all going crazy. I remember being 12 years old and overhearing my mom talking to a neighbor about how terrible I was acting lately. I can still remember feeling the shame I had that day and questioning to myself on why I acted that way.

I relate it to the same way some women act while they are on their time of the month. For me, I can get a little snippy and moody because my hormones are all over the place. Same with teens. I guess some teens can control it better than others.

So, I do think it's unfair to say some kids are sweeter natured than others because of the way they were raised. All children are different, with different personalities and hormone levels while growing up.

I'm not in any way saying that hormones should be a reason to talk back or constantly argue and disrespect parents, but they can make teens act in ways that they didn't when they were in the single-digit age.

Just do the best job you can raising your kids during this time, and they will, at some point, be grateful for all you've done for them.