Thread: Best headlines...kind of long

THE YEAR'S BEST
[actual]

HEADLINES OF 2004:




Crack Found on

Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]




Something Went Wrong

in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[no, really?]




Police Begin Campaign

to Run Down Jaywalkers

[now that's taking things a bit far!]




Is There a Ring of Debris

around Uranus?

[not if I wipe thoroughly!]




Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

[what a guy!]




Miners Refuse to Work

after Death

[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]




Juvenile Court to

Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]




War Dims Hope

for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]




If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile

[you think?!]




Cold Wave Linked

to Temperatures

[who would have thought!]




Enfield (London) Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

[they may be on to something!]




Red Tape Holds

Up New Bridges

[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]




Man Struck By Lightning

Faces Battery Charge

[he probably IS the battery charge!]




New Study of Obesity

Looks for Larger Test Group...

[weren't they fat enough?!]




Astronaut Takes

Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]




Kids Make

Nutritious Snacks

[Tastes like chicken?]




Local High School

Dropouts Cut in Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]




Hospitals are Sued

by Seven Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]



And the winner is....




Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;

Hundreds Dead

(Can you believe it)

This is so funny. Been awhile since there has been a pass-a-long. Thanks.

LOL! Thanks. I sent them along to some friends.