Thread: Where I've been - grab a snack, go potty, maybe a tush cushion...

OK DANG it I wrote this out TWICE and when I try to preview it it deletes. So here it is unedited and I still feel like I left out something important.
OK well I figured since I popped back in after such a long time I'd tell you what happened to make me leave. (If anyone even remembers me LOL)
When I started on the forums I was in a bad situation. I was in a relationship with my high school "sweetheart". We had a small daughter and things were miserable. We lived in his parents apartment and he was way abusive. Always emotionally and many many times physically. We hated each other and even though I tried to make us a family - begged to move out - anything, he didn't want to. (He said I wasn't a good enough house keeper.) He didn't want me to work and wouldn't allow me to go to school. I was living on the internet with no friends and I had basically cut my family out of my life because they knew I was getting hit but never once offered to help. I started sneaking around looking for a job on Monster. Meanwhile, (flame me as you will I'm sure there is going to be a lot of feedback on some of this) I started seeing this guy I had known for a couple of years, on the side. He really encouraged me to get a job and find a way to leave. I got a job at a bank and started saving money. Strangely enough when I started working my ex wasn't mad at all. I was scared he would find out I was leaving so I acted like I was trying to work it out with him (I KNOW this was wrong but there was no other way. If he knew I was leaving he would have thrown me out and I had no where to go) About 3 weeks into my job he started to get suspicious. He hacked all my accounts and got my cell phone code. He started questioning me about certain little things. I covered for a while and then one day after I had worked at my job for a month and had about $1200 saved up - I picked a fight with him (it was the ONLY way I'd be brave enough to leave after 10 years.) I told him I was leaving (as I had many times in the past) I got on a bus, went home, packed my stuff in garbage bags and left. He never showed up because he didn't believe me. I didn't want my daughter to know I had moved out so I went home to his house every night- fed her dinner and put her to sleep. After she was asleep I would take the bus back across town to the sleeeeaziest motel.(I had to leave her with her dad and grandparents. I don't drive and there was no way I could get her to school in the mornings and get to work on time. Also she had a home where she was safe and comfortable, with all the things I couldn't give her.) I did this every night for 2 weeks until I found an apartment. He begged and cried but I wasn't having it. I had already gone back once before and I ended up pregnant and abused.
I think my boyfriend was SHOCKED that I actually left, even he didn't expect me to. When I got my apartment I let my daughter come with me and we picked out towels. I left with 3 plastic trash bags and now I have a home with everything we need. I am so proud of myself.
I didn't tell my ex for a long time that I had cheated on him. He told me a few weeks before I left that if I was ever with anyone else he would slit my neck. When he found out he was furious. he started fights with my boyfriend and caused horrible drama. He once even broke into my apartment and trashed everything. Bed, Fridge, Tv, everything. Anyway - things are ok now. I ran into some problems about a year after when I lost my job but I made it through. My boyfriend always stood by my side and offered encouragement through it all. I still have ups and downs with my daughter's father. One minute he's nice and over it and the next he's violently mad at me. Pretty much everyone tells me I abandoned my daughter and it's so painful to hear it but I think I did what was right. I couldn't leave her homeless. In march it'll be two years since I left. My daughter still has a hard time spending the night (I have her after work mon, wed and fri and every other weekend.) and we are running into some serious anger problems. They tell her I left for a man and that I left her because I didn't care. I'll have to work this out with her when she is older I guess.She's just too young right now. Even though there was another man in the picture I left because I wanted to. I wanted to for years before he was dating me. My ex's mother used to tell me to get out any way I could but now that she knows I cheated, I'm the town trollop. All in all things are slowly working out, and now I'm back. So, that's where I've been. I probably (certainly) left out a ton of stuff and I know it's disjointed but there it is.
Thanks for reading

Now back to your regularly scheduled freebee-ing

I am glad you got out of the abuse, what ever the reasons the choice was yours to make, only you knew what you were going through. Make sure your daughter knows you love her, things will work out.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I lost 40+ lbs!!! (yayme-gitbusy-it'smybirfday - uh uh uh)

Glad you're back! Wish I could lose 40 pounds

hehehehe hotwheel