Thread: Speeding....Joke

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to
see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps
out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to
the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

given my repeat traffic offenses, I always split a gut laughing when i see this joke. One of my all time favorites!

Originally posted by captorquewrench
given my repeat traffic offenses, I always split a gut laughing when i see this joke. One of my all time favorites!

You following me laura??? LOL

well you know, we do have red cars. we have an image to uphold as speeders.

Originally posted by captorquewrench
well you know, we do have red cars. we have an image to uphold as speeders.

That is so funny....I know. Aggie's driving my car. Truck is acting really weird. Leaning to one side. I'm afraid for him to drive it. So, I'm "carless". I won't/can't drive the truck.

Originally posted by zitra
LOL!

You're following me, too....Ms. Z....lol I'm rolling as fast as I can. Damn these streets have a lot of curves in them....

So funny I passed this on the our son and one of our grandaughters. They both have a "leadfoot" - too many tickets.