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Thread: Greedy sibling

  1. #12
    SLance68's Avatar
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    Ok there is a way to avoid all this crap. Living Revocable Trust. List everything in it and who it goes to. It will save hundreds if not thousands in legal fees for people fighting over stuff. My Dad's family did the part of spreading everything between the 5 kids after his death and there were 2 of the 5 how had died before my Grandfather. My uncle was the executor and he split my Dad and my Aunts parts to their kids instead of dividing everything by 3 instead of 5. It pissed off my other 2 uncles and they threw a fit but there was nothing they could do since it was said to be divided by the 5 children or their heirs. So there is a way to do this without causing a bunch of crap.

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    Your right. Thank goodness that is what my mom had but there were a few items willed to 3 of the 5 kids. That is causing the havoc. Just the one kid pitching a fit, thinking he should have gotten it all.

    Me
    Last edited by hblueeyes; 03-18-2012 at 01:38 PM. Reason: add

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    SLance68's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hblueeyes View Post
    Your right. Thank goodness that is what my mom had but there were a few items willed to 3 of the 5 kids. That is causing the havoc. Just the one kid pitching a fit, thinking he should have gotten it all.

    Me
    Well that is normal there is always one that thinks they are "owed" everything.

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    my grandma had all that.. but didn't stop her son from disputing the will, took alot in court to prove that she was in her right mind and not forced to do something... they spent all kinds of money.... was crazy...

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    I am so sorry you have to go through all this, how sad to be remembering a person by the value of their stuff! Shame on your brother! I am glad my sister and I haven't had to deal with anything like this since Mom passed. I have a cross around my neck that I bought for my Mother years ago and everything else is still there and hasn't been touched. I have told family members to come get what they want to remember Mom by. Thank God Dad has a will and I hope everything goes well when he goes. You never really know what family members are capable of until money is involved. I would let my sister have everything to not have a fight. I just couldn't go through it.

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    The courts are going to go by what the will said. Sandy witha Revocable Trust eveyone owns a stake in the property. When my Dad passed away my Mom was advised to do the Revocable Trust. That was fine, there are 4 of us & we each had a 25% stake in Mom's assets. Thing was, 12 years later my sons & I are the only ones looking out after her. She decided she wanted to make a change in percentages in her trust. Problem was she no longer owned her home, the trust did. This entailed having to have each of my siblings sign over their share of the trust. Got some grief over it but again it is Mom's property & where have they been???
    Now Mom has decided that since my oldest son is going to stay & live with and take care of her she wants to give the home to him. I'm fine with it, my sister is fine with it, one brother is fine with it but one brother...sigh! Hey listen if he wants his share then his share will entail coming up once a month & take care of her for an entire week 24/7. Yes this means cleanning crap...really crap off the toilet seat & floor, & sink & the hall....get my point! My kid cooks, cleans, is doing repairs out of his own money so yes it is his & it is what she wants.
    Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

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    I agree. That is why I am so upset. My brother feels he should have it all but out of 45+ trips for radiation, they took her once. Same with chemo. But that was the easy part. They did not have to clean her bedside toilet, when her kidneys gave out and her pee was brown. Listen to her cry and scream out from pain. They did not have to watch her wither and die. They ripped her off and took advantage then, never returned. Brother came day she died and said, "I'll come back later. She's sleeping." No, this is as good as it gets.

    Me

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    SLance68's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunniekiss View Post
    The courts are going to go by what the will said. Sandy witha Revocable Trust eveyone owns a stake in the property. When my Dad passed away my Mom was advised to do the Revocable Trust. That was fine, there are 4 of us & we each had a 25% stake in Mom's assets. Thing was, 12 years later my sons & I are the only ones looking out after her. She decided she wanted to make a change in percentages in her trust. Problem was she no longer owned her home, the trust did. This entailed having to have each of my siblings sign over their share of the trust. Got some grief over it but again it is Mom's property & where have they been???
    Now Mom has decided that since my oldest son is going to stay & live with and take care of her she wants to give the home to him. I'm fine with it, my sister is fine with it, one brother is fine with it but one brother...sigh! Hey listen if he wants his share then his share will entail coming up once a month & take care of her for an entire week 24/7. Yes this means cleanning crap...really crap off the toilet seat & floor, & sink & the hall....get my point! My kid cooks, cleans, is doing repairs out of his own money so yes it is his & it is what she wants.
    If it was set up properly NOTHING belongs to anyone until after she is gone. The house is listed as being owned by "her name living revocable trust" and no one owns anything until she is dead. Get a new attorney there is no reason anyone should have a say in crap unless she is proven unfit. My bosses brats thought when Mom & Dad did a trust that "they" owned everything. Yeah they got a rude awakening when they found out they own nothing until BOTH of them were dead and they only got what Mom & Dad said they got. They listed lots of stuff like jewelry to their nieces and such.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hblueeyes View Post
    I agree. That is why I am so upset. My brother feels he should have it all but out of 45+ trips for radiation, they took her once. Same with chemo. But that was the easy part. They did not have to clean her bedside toilet, when her kidneys gave out and her pee was brown. Listen to her cry and scream out from pain. They did not have to watch her wither and die. They ripped her off and took advantage then, never returned. Brother came day she died and said, "I'll come back later. She's sleeping." No, this is as good as it gets.

    Me
    I am so sorry for what you went through. but I know you would do it all again.
    Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....

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    Quote Originally Posted by SLance68 View Post
    If it was set up properly NOTHING belongs to anyone until after she is gone. The house is listed as being owned by "her name living revocable trust" and no one owns anything until she is dead. Get a new attorney there is no reason anyone should have a say in crap unless she is proven unfit. My bosses brats thought when Mom & Dad did a trust that "they" owned everything. Yeah they got a rude awakening when they found out they own nothing until BOTH of them were dead and they only got what Mom & Dad said they got. They listed lots of stuff like jewelry to their nieces and such.
    No...once you go into a family trust the trust owns everything. That is why once the head of the trust (mom) passes, everything passed down is not considered an inheritance & is not taxed as income coming from an estate. With the trust, in-laws would not be able to gain access to any funds from the trust. So if one of Mom's children were to pass, the funds of that child would pass directly to the children of that child but placed in trust until that grandchild reached a certain age which I believe was 40. My Mom & us 4 children were trustees and each had an equal share in the trust however Mom was the head trustee & can make whatever changes she wanted to the trust. In order for us to sign the property back over to Mom we each had to sign title of her home back to her.
    The main reason we hd to do this is because since my Mom is 87 & interest rates are now so low, her income from her 401k's were not keeping pace with her expenses plus she did need some major repairs to her home & we did not wish to take those funds away from her 401K. We had to do a reverse mortgage which we could not do if the home was owned by the trust.
    Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunniekiss View Post
    So if one of Mom's children were to pass, the funds of that child would pass directly to the children of that child but placed in trust until that grandchild reached a certain age which I believe was 40.
    One has to understand that inheritance tax and trust laws vary from state to state. This is not true of trusts in California. If one of the surviving trustees passes away, that portion of the trust does not automatically go to the children of the deceased party. It has to be spelled out in the trust if this is the intent. This wasn't originally stated in my in-laws trust...which they got from one of those places which produces boilerplate trust documents. We had to have the trust document amended to include this provision, as well as several others.

    My hubby and I had our trust created last year. We had to spell out everything very specifically as to the transition and division of our assets after our death via the trust. It was worth every penny it cost to have it done. I call it my peace of mind document.
    Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.

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