Gripes worthy of a post but not an entire thread.......

[3lilpigs]

We have tried to help them in the past and it always - always - seems to bite us in the butt. Now *I* am getting heat because I am "mean" "cold" "heartless" and ( my favorite ) "unChristian"

You can't help those who don't want to help themselves. She's not going to change/leave him as long as there is someone out there to ''bail her out.''

And who cares what the rest of the family thinks or says. She's not YOUR daughter. She's not YOUR responsibility. I realize she's still a relative, and you want to do the right thing, but you've already tried....let someone else do it and see how it turns out.

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[pepperpot]

Well, whomever *they* are that is pressuring you, let *them* give her *their* car since they are so *Christian*.

Nothing like giving away other people's stuff.

[Jolie Rouge]

I loaned her my maternity clothes after I had DD - we were not planning on any more and she was expecting her first. We both got pregnant a few years later ... my third, her second, although she was about 4 months further along. KNOWING that I was pregnant and kept asking about getting my clothes back .... she GAVE them to a travelling mission - "because "God told her to" WTF ?? I had to turn around and buy more clothes. When JA tore up a previous vehicle - my DH spent several weekends and hundreds of dollars getting it up and running again. Since I do not drive - this was a MAJOR inconvience to me - but "it's family". They were supposed to pay DH when their income tax refund came in ... never paid him. No excuses.... the spent the money. The "church" they attend teaches that they don't have to keep promises to "heretics" ... and so they felt like they didn't "owe" DH for the money he put out, the hours of time he put in, even tho it saved them over 2K. They wonder why I won't go out of my way to help them ???

Well, whomever *they* are that is pressuring you, let *them* give her *their* car since they are so *Christian*.

Nothing like giving away other people's stuff.

But we have an "extra" car that we are not using... is the reasoning. I told her it has a mechanical problem ( it does - it needs a new battery ) If they had not burned us on several occasions with other things - I *might* consider it. but JA has totaled thee vehicles in two years ... and I won't let him drive anything I own. We have saved and worked so my kids can have nice thing ... not "keeping up with the Jones" - but what I can afford. They don't have cell phones, or ipads, ipods or all the latests gadgets or fashions... but what we have we have worked hard for. I resent being asked to "loan" something I know won't be kept care of or respected. Should I be penalised for planning ahead ??

[Jolie Rouge]

... sicker than an infected pus wart on a monkey's butt ....

That made me laugh !!!

[pepperpot]

Jolie, are they liberals?

[3lilpigs]

The "church" they attend teaches that they don't have to keep promises to "heretics" ... and so they felt like they didn't "owe" DH for the money he put out, the hours of time he put in, even tho it saved them over 2K.

Turn it around on them.....you , and your ''church'', don't feel you ''owe'' them any thing else.

Just give a flat-out 'NO' and end the whole discussion.

[madie]

Honestly, I know these people (figuratively), the best help you can give is no help at all. Everyone has their breaking point or bottom, your neice will not leave this dead beat until she hits here and everyone needs to stop cushioning it so it's not so bad. And Pepperpot, the first people I think of when I think of this are republican, not liberals. Personally, I think there is a difference between liberal and selfish it's just easier to be selfish as a liberal.

[Jolie Rouge]

... the first people I think of when I think of this are republican, not liberals.

Why Republicans ?

Pepperpot and I have had many many political discussions and this was intended as a joke between she and I. But honestly - they are very liberal card carrying Dems with serious entitlement issues. He can't - won't - hold down a job but she is expecting their 8th child.... collecting food stamps, welfare, and every hand out the goverment provides... while also complaining about goverment 'control'

[madie]

It seems like most people I know consider democrats and liberals to be one in the same - I don't argue (for obvious reasons), the person I was referring to was also raised a preachers daughter - it amazes me how many people think they can buy there way through giving to clergy (just saying...)

8!!! It is so sad, how can you choose to bring children into that kind of situation, it is heart breaking

[Kelsey1224]

As a Christian, we are also instructed to be good stewards with what the Lord has blessed us. Giving them your car would not be an example of good stewardship. And, if their church feels that way...then the church should be the ones giving them what they need.

[Eyore]

Can't blame you for not loaning them the car. Keep in mind that if you did, and something happened with the car being your name, whoever or whatever could come after you guys. That right there would make me say no.