Gripes worthy of a post but not an entire thread.......

[3lilpigs]

Then I get the pleasure of pooping white for a few days, minty fresh poop but white none the less.

ok, you win!

I'll shut up now

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[justme23]

Well, I don't hate Mondays... but I too am having tests done. No barium (and thanks for the poop visual), but IVs and something to make my gallbladder act like it does when you eat? I don't know... I just wish they'd find an answer to a 3 year problem. Then the next Wednesday I get to be at the hospital at 530 in the morning for an 8am endoscopy... the third time in as many years... because they want to check for ulcers. I'm ok w/ the tests being done... I just hate being up that early lol.

[justme23]

You know, I don't want to say I "hate" some of my family... but I'm really so pissed right now I can't think of a nicer word. My cousin died last week... we were not close... I don't think I saw her more than once a year at the family reunion my entire life. She'd been in a nursing home (she was really rather young but she was a very big girl and would not even walk when she was capable so her body just kind of quit working, why she was in the nursing home) for almost a decade... she is in a much better place now, so I don't even think grieving her is something I'll do... I'm happy she is not in pain any more....

But now to the gripe... all last week emails went back and forth... some we were included in and some I was informed of "through the grapevine". They were ALL sure to include us in the emails asking for money to help pay for her cremation... which I would have gladly done... but NONE of them sent the email to inform us of the service (which was really just a mini reunion) that was Saturday... when I said something about this to another cousin I was informed that *I* am the one who doesn't think like a normal human being... that clearly I am mentally challenged and that if I were a "well" adult I would have called all around to find out this information on my own... well I'm sorry but if you can freaking send the email asking me for money then you can by goodness send me an email telling me about a service... am I wrong? I mean, am I "unwell" or am I justified in being pissed off? I do not mean to suggest that her mother or sister should have made a personal call just to me to inform me of the service, clearly they have enough going on (I am also not close to them, I would never expect to hear from them directly about anything, really, but I *am* close to the one telling me I'm crazy)... but the other family members, who were not involved in the planning and had the time to click forward and hit send... the ones asking for money as well... they should have included us, right? I hope yall don't tell me I'm in the wrong... I *really* do not want to have to apologize to this person... but I am the bigger person and I will do what's right... I just need to know what others think.... plus if I didn't write it here I probably would have sent her a nasty email... and believe me, that one she would have had no problem forwarding.

[dv8grl]

justme - You are right. They could have easily sent a mass email to the family letting them know about the service, etc... Seems they want your money and not you. KWIM?

[mosdata1]

I'm sure they were able to tel you where to send the money. It would have taken just as long to tell you where and when the cermony would be held.

[pepperpot]

Yup, drama, drama and more drama. Realistically, this relative that you are "close" too, should have had the decency to let you know. That shows you right there who is the "unwell" in the group. or rather, who is in the "unwell group".

I commend you for your willingness to help with your cousin's cremation expenses. That is very thoughtful.

[baragabrat]

if you can freaking send the email asking me for money then you can by goodness send me an email telling me about a service.

Indeed! When it comes to money, regardless of the situation or amount, folks get all weird & stupid. I don't believe you owe anyone an apology. They owe you one, but don't hold your breath. I am certainly happy that you have this thread/site to come to to blow off steam instead of emailing your cousin and then she forwarding to everyone else and then a bigger drama than there is now. Folks can be really good about the mountain/molehill thing.

[3lilpigs]

I do not mean to suggest that her mother or sister should have made a personal call just to me to inform me of the service, clearly they have enough going on

Why not? People have been doing that way before emails were thought of. Call me old fashioned, but it's how things are suppose to be done. When my grandfather died, we CALLED people and told them. Not email........not facebook...not twitter.....but by phone. If they were too upset to do it, it's understandable, but then get someone else to make the call.

And not to sound rude, but why should you have to be responsible for chipping in for the cremation? That's something that she and the immediate family should have planned ahead for.

I don't think you're wrong at all for feeling the way you do.

[justme23]

Thank you all. I feel better after reading your replies. My husband has been begging me for years to let this particular person go. I honestly don't know why I can't but maybe it's time I tried. I wish I could say these were the worst things she's said to/about me but I can't.

[SLance68]

Thank you all. I feel better after reading your replies. My husband has been begging me for years to let this particular person go. I honestly don't know why I can't but maybe it's time I tried. I wish I could say these were the worst things she's said to/about me but I can't.

Listen to your hubby he is right. And don't you send them a damn dime they don't deserve it and it is NOT your responsibility to pay for a cremation and I guarantee that price included a service that they conveniently forgot to invite you to but didn't forget to send the bill.

[baragabrat]

Thank you all. I feel better after reading your replies. My husband has been begging me for years to let this particular person go. I honestly don't know why I can't but maybe it's time I tried. I wish I could say these were the worst things she's said to/about me but I can't.

Letting go of folks regardless of the relationship is hard! But this just sounds like a whole lot of negativity in your life that you just do not need! (who does?) I don't necessarily think a confrontation is called for, but backing away, not contacting this person, not returning calls she makes to you, not replying to emails, etc. may be in order. Do not let her engage you in a conversation about this situation or any other that may lead to you trying to defend your actions (or feel like you have to.) Obviously she really doesn't care about you. Even if she didn't agree with you or your actions, she needn't have called you 'unwell.' That was pretty rude. When I disagree with my sisters or friends I certainly don't call them names.

Hang in there and come here to us when it gets tough with her. Yell and b!tch in here rather than have her make you feel bad.