Thread: Caring for a sick Mom

My mom has been living with me for 5 years. We support her. She is 82 years old and treats us like crap. In september my Mom was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. She went against medical advice and decided to get radiation and chemo. I take her to all her appointments and make sure everything is getting done. No big deal. 9 weeks of radiation, monday - friday. Chemo tuesday - thursday every 3 weeks and an after chemo shot on fridays. Let me also not forget the pre chemo bloodwork that needed to be done as well as hemoglobin counts every week. Radiation ended and she has 2 rounds of chemo left. 2 weeks ago she went to stay with my brother, to "give me a break". I do not believe it. Since then nothing has been done right. My brothers wife is "taking care" of her and I use that term loosely. She took her to see the oncologist yet did not get the referral my mom needs for her followup bone scan,cat scan and MRI. Grace, my brothers wife said she sees her again in 3 months. I questioned her about it but she said thats all she knew. 3 days later, her oncologist called and said they needed to change her appointment from 2/28 to 2/23. Well that's just 1 month after her visit, not 3. Also her chemo is on the 23 but Grace did not catch it. It doesn't matter now because of the storm chemo had to be rescheduled. She had her last follow up with her Radiation doc, but ended up being at the hospital for an additional 6 hours because Grace told the doc my moms arm was broke. I had already told Grace it was her arthritis and to have her primary care send a referral for her orthopedic doc for a shot of cortezone. Now my mom got a $600 x ray bill because she did not go thru her primary care doc. Then on saturday the lab called confused about my moms blood work. I got it straightened out yet somehow the hospital never got the labs or results. When they did get an appointment with the ortho doc, Grace called me and said it was snowing and that she was cancelling. I said we would pick her up and take her but Grace decided to brave it. It snowed for like 15 minutes and the streets were clear and dry. Grace also asked me if they could bring my mom to stay with me for february 13-15 since they had concert tickets in Chicago and she had an appointment she had to make. I said no problem.Yesterday my CVS sent my chantix prescription to Graces CVS and they put it under my moms name. My Mom paid for it. Asked about the $15 charge, said it was for me and returned it. But then I could not get it from them because my Mom said it was for me. OK the docs office screwed up and put it in my moms name. But my CVS had the original script and box for refill that clearly had my name on it. I asked my Mom if she could have Grace call her CVS and see if we brought my mom in, could she fill the script without her insurance since I am paying out of pocket. Then call me back and let me know since it was3 pm and starting to snow hard. About 20 minutes later I called Grace and asked which CVS she used. I asked if she called and what they said and she said, "No, and here's why, It's not my concern." I said, excuse me. Let me talk to my mom. I asked my mom how many hours would have passed if I had not called. I also asked her how many times she asked Grace for something that had been blown off because of Graces reasons. She did not know. I took my mom out almost daily. Fresh ai is good and it gave her something to do. Even if it was just to get lottery tickets. My mom has not been out unless she has had an appointment. Grace told me she waits for her 20 year old daughter or her 32 year old son to come home before she goes to the store because it is just easier. So she is slow. Big deal she is not like a 2 year old. And why cannot my Mom be alone in their house? I think once my brother has all the old womans money, they will kick her back. I will not do it. She can stay here but she must now pay her way. She has 3 times the monthly income I do and yet none of the expenses. (I have kids in school). I also told my mom she cannot be here Feb13-15 because I will be making plans. Her concert and appointment are not my concern. Then my mom had to go since they would be eating soon. It was 7 pm and yet she always complained about us eating late at 7 pm. I dont understand why my mom thinks my brother and his wife walk on water. But she does.

Me

I don't know why they can't appreciate the ones who care and do for them.

I am one of 5. 2 are out of state and 2 are nearby. The 2 nearby do nothing. My bro does what he must as long as there is something in it for him.

Thanks for understanding and the hugs. It really does help me alot.

I will not smoke.

Me

I'm sorry for what you are going through.. i know how it is when you do everything and for somereason your parents worship your other sibling..... I"m moving away in May. and never looking back....