Thread: funeral

I am supposed to be at a funeral at 12. noon. To get there on time, I have to leave here by 11. I don't want to go. I would prefer almost anything to going but it is my BBF father. He was 93. I have thought of all kinds of lies I could tell her but I don't normally lie and I think she would see right through it. I don't think I could do that to her anyway. Ok, guess I'll start moving. I do not want a funeral for myself, I don't want to put people through this. I am also going to be cremated. There will be over 100 family members. I do love seeing this huge family together.

We went to the funeral. I am white. This is my forth black funeral. There are so many different ways people worship their God, meaning to imply there are cultural differences in these funerals and ours. And also meaning I realize there are so many differences in religious worship among a singular race. She has remarked that our church services seem so quiet while I think theirs are much more vocal. Comparing the 4 black funerals I have been to, to the white ones I will say these feel so warm and personable compared to most of the white funerals I have been to. I am 65 so I have been to my share of funerals. A number of different family members and friends got up and spoke about the kindness of this man. Since he was 93 , one of them also discussed the hardship of his life being black when he was much younger. There were 112 family members at the funeral. Of course they were not all blood relatives but yet that is still a large family for his wife and himself and their four daughters to produce. Friendships are such strange things. My girlfriend and I are so different in so many ways but she is such a good person. She is 75 and has taken care of her dad for many years and for her mom also before she died. The funeral was sad although I know he is in a better place. I was crying and I had only met the man 5 or 6 times. I don't know the purpose of this reply except to say we did go and I feel a better person because of it.

I am glad you made yourself go, you seem happy with yourself for going. I know sometimes I really dread going somewhere or doing something but after wards I am usually happy and content knowing that I was there for someone who needed me.

There is one funny thing about going. My husband also knows my friend well, through me. Of course he was supposed to go too. That morning he said he couldn't go because his back hurt too bad. After 2 hours of this, as I was getting ready and dreading going by myself, I said, well I had thought we would ask Martha and her sisters to go to lunch one day but if you can't sit through a funeral you sure can't feel like going out to eat. He would rather eat than anything. He laid there about 5 minutes more and got up and said " I'll be ready by the time you are" We are taking her and her sisters to all of our favorite restaurant tomorrow.

I'm also glad you decided to go. Obviously it was something you dreaded doing...but it ended up being worthwhile...and you were then for your friend.