Thread: Please tell me I'm not crazy for feeling this way

I live with my boyfriend in his house. His 19 year old daughter has been in South Carolina going to college for a year and a half. Because of a boy she decided to transfer mid year to the University of Iowa so after last semester ended she moved back up here on Dec 16th. She had to move back in with us because she couldn't move into the dorm until yesterday.

So, my month from hell. Before she moved back George cleaned up the garage so I could start parking in it. In Iowa we get lots of snow and extremely bitter temperatures. Well, the morning I left to go home to see my parents for Christmas he asked me to leave the garage door opener. I was gone for 4 days, got back and guess who isn't parking in the garage anymore. Now his 19 yo daughter is. She's not working, not going to school and sleeping until noon and parking in the garage. So much for him cleaning it out for me to park in. No, I've been parking on the street for the past month. No one has said a word about it.

Then on Friday I called off work because I was exhausted and my tooth is hurting. I've been working 50 hour weeks and I needed to rest. I figured I would just lay around the house all day. Wrong. About 10:30 in the morning I'm laying upstairs in bed and Cash starts his I know you, excited bark. I get up and look out the window. It's her 19 yo boyfriend. She's still in bed downstairs with her door closed. He doesn't knock, just walks in and goes into her bedroom and shuts the door. Are you Freakin kidding me!!!! I felt so uncomfortable being there that after an hour and a half I left for the rest of the day even though I felt miserable.

I really don't mean to sound bitter but I really feel disrespected. Not just by the daughter but by my boyfriend. Those of you who have adult (so called) college children, when they come home do you have rules for them to live by? Do they get to park in the garage and you have to park outside. Are they required to show respect? Do they just get to leave their dirty dishes for someone else to do?

I'm about at my final straw here. Yes, she moved into her dorm yesterday but she'll have to move back in when summer break hits and I feel like I'm going to have to move out to save my sanity.

I'm a more vocal person LOL, I would have been throwing a fit and telling her the rules of the home.... I would most definitly talk to your boyfriend about her and let him know that it's gotta be different the next times his DD is there. Not acceptable.

I mentioned things to him the last time she lived here, such as using my personal hygiene items without asking etc. He would get pissy that I would say anything about her and didn't understand why it would even bother me. He just said "I thought when people lived together they shared everything" Whatever.

how long have you been with your BF?
I don't know, maybe you'll have to threaten him that you'll find somewhere else to live during the summer break, and see what he says.

You moved into THEIR house which obviously makes you a second class citizen in their eyes. Dad has made his choice - daughter has prior rights. From what I've seen kids, even mean spoiled ones, almost always win. Daddy's little darling and all that.

You are either going to have to just accept what you get from him and his DD or move. The DD will win everytime.

Originally Posted by cabby92

You moved into THEIR house which obviously makes you a second class citizen in their eyes. Dad has made his choice - daughter has prior rights. From what I've seen kids, even mean spoiled ones, almost always win. Daddy's little darling and all that.

You hit the nail on the head! That's exactly how I feel I've been treated and exactly how I feel when she is here.

DD feels like you are an intruder, daddy feels guilt for the divorce and DD plays it up. It's a no win situation if daddy doesn't see it.

My stepDD is getting married late this year. Even though she is mommy's little darling and daddy always plays second fiddle I already know it is going to be a nightmare. I went through months of treatment for kidney cancer last year and never got so much as a card from the brat. Yeah, I'm not bitter. And my DH was one of the good ones. I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if he'd let her get away with all she tried.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by OmaLisa

I live with my boyfriend in his house. His 19 year old daughter has been in South Carolina going to college for a year and a half. Because of a boy she decided to transfer mid year to the University of Iowa so after last semester ended she moved back up here on Dec 16th. She had to move back in with us because she couldn't move into the dorm until yesterday.

So, my month from hell. Before she moved back George cleaned up the garage so I could start parking in it. In Iowa we get lots of snow and extremely bitter temperatures. Well, the morning I left to go home to see my parents for Christmas he asked me to leave the garage door opener. I was gone for 4 days, got back and guess who isn't parking in the garage anymore. Now his 19 yo daughter is. She's not working, not going to school and sleeping until noon and parking in the garage. So much for him cleaning it out for me to park in. No, I've been parking on the street for the past month. No one has said a word about it.

Then on Friday I called off work because I was exhausted and my tooth is hurting. I've been working 50 hour weeks and I needed to rest. I figured I would just lay around the house all day. Wrong. About 10:30 in the morning I'm laying upstairs in bed and Cash starts his I know you, excited bark. I get up and look out the window. It's her 19 yo boyfriend. She's still in bed downstairs with her door closed. He doesn't knock, just walks in and goes into her bedroom and shuts the door. Are you Freakin kidding me!!!! I felt so uncomfortable being there that after an hour and a half I left for the rest of the day even though I felt miserable.

I really don't mean to sound bitter but I really feel disrespected. Not just by the daughter but by my boyfriend. Those of you who have adult (so called) college children, when they come home do you have rules for them to live by? Do they get to park in the garage and you have to park outside. Are they required to show respect? Do they just get to leave their dirty dishes for someone else to do?

I'm about at my final straw here. Yes, she moved into her dorm yesterday but she'll have to move back in when summer break hits and I feel like I'm going to have to move out to save my sanity.

When I was in college, I spent summers and holidays with my mom. I could pretty much come and go as I pleased, but I did not have my boyfriend sleep over, and I certainly did not sleep until NOON every day. My mom had the prime parking spot and I would have never considered taking it. I also worked and contributed to the household monetarily and by doing housework.

I think that your husband needs to put a stop to this and now. It is your home too.