Thread: Crying...need to get this out

I would speak with another attorney about the fathers rights. Your son needs to get in a court and petition to have a paternity test done as soon as that child is born. It doesn't take a 2 year wait. Heck go on Maury and get it done faster than 2 years. Your son will probably have to pay for the tests and it is a few hundred dollars. The Mom can try to protest but if she does she will be really surprised when she tries to get child support and the Judge says NO until paternity is determined. I had a good friend go through something like this and it was a mess. He actually ended up with sole custody of his daughter since the "mother" was a real piece of work.

Originally Posted by SLance68

I would speak with another attorney about the fathers rights. Your son needs to get in a court and petition to have a paternity test done as soon as that child is born. It doesn't take a 2 year wait. Heck go on Maury and get it done faster than 2 years. Your son will probably have to pay for the tests and it is a few hundred dollars. The Mom can try to protest but if she does she will be really surprised when she tries to get child support and the Judge says NO until paternity is determined. I had a good friend go through something like this and it was a mess. He actually ended up with sole custody of his daughter since the "mother" was a real piece of work.

The DNA test can be done pretty quick, that is not the problem. In Missouri if you are not married, the father has no rights, even if you have a DNA for proof, until a judge declares him legally the father. That is the part that can take up to 2 years. She will have to agree to a DNA if she wants support or tries to draw any state aid for the child. He then can be forced to pay support, but still not have visitation until a judge declares him the father legally. A DNA test does not make him the legal father, which is the part that is messed up to me. But I spoke to my Ex-Sister-in law who his a paralegal and she says that is really the law. She said the cases can take up to 2 years depending on how much of an ass her lawyer wants to be but most are less than 1 year.

Man, I wish you were my kids grandmother. You care so much for your grandchildren. My oldest is fifteen and my mother has seen him 4 times. My youngest is four and she has seen her twice. She sends Christmas presents every year but has never sent any of them birthday cards. Good luck to you and your son.

Originally Posted by jonette5

The DNA test can be done pretty quick, that is not the problem. In Missouri if you are not married, the father has no rights, even if you have a DNA for proof, until a judge declares him legally the father. That is the part that can take up to 2 years. She will have to agree to a DNA if she wants support or tries to draw any state aid for the child. He then can be forced to pay support, but still not have visitation until a judge declares him the father legally. A DNA test does not make him the legal father, which is the part that is messed up to me. But I spoke to my Ex-Sister-in law who his a paralegal and she says that is really the law. She said the cases can take up to 2 years depending on how much of an ass her lawyer wants to be but most are less than 1 year.

Hopefully she isn't that aware of the legal system and just allows the DNA test. I hope that it can be resolved easily but I would be willing to bet that your DS is not the father.

Donna, I am sorry for what you and your son are going through. I know how bad it hurts your heart and soul. Hang in there and pray, pray, pray.

Originally Posted by jonette5

You know if it is not his, that would be ok. I or he would hold nothing against her. I just wish she would tell him it's not his, let us do a DNA to prove it and then all our lives could go on. Yes I would be sad and a little upset at first, thinking I was going to get a grandbaby and then finding out not, but that would be easier to take than court battles for visitation.

If you love your granddaughter, and your son also does, what would DNA matter? If you HAVE to have the DNA test, do it....but I think if you already have established feelings for the child, DNA and paternity would not matter, as long as I loved the child

Originally Posted by iluvmybaby

If you love your granddaughter, and your son also does, what would DNA matter? If you HAVE to have the DNA test, do it....but I think if you already have established feelings for the child, DNA and paternity would not matter, as long as I loved the child

It makes a HUGE difference. Legally they have zero right for a child thats not biologically connected at all. Why continue the pain and suffering for a child that you have no connection to at all?

Give the girl her space. Wait for the paternity test. Something seems off here. Like Pepperpot said, it might be hormones or maybe manipulation on her part. You stated that your son has known her for 6 years. Has your son ever detected any manipulative or drama genes in her? If your son is indeed the father, rest assured you will hear from her!