Thread: I am blown away by this (please read)

** I included the "please read" because I want parents to read this.

Tonight, DH and I were watching How I Met Your Mother, because DS was upstairs practicing his trumpet. Otherwise it is a sassy show for kids to watch. Anyway, we were both in the kitchen when DS came down. The show mentioned "penis" and my son proceeded to tell me what he saw last Friday.

Our local YMCA has "Y Night" that is for kids grades 5-8 to go, sans parents to do activities. I have been impressed with it because it offers kids to kinda/sorta be on their own, yet there is a level of supervision.

Anyway, the word "penis" that my son heard on that show made him tell me that last Friday at Y night, there was a man, crouched in a shower in the locker room masturbating. Of course, my son did not use the "M" word, but showed me what he was doing. Anyway, the guy was doing that before they went in the pool and was still doing it when they came out of the pool. My son estimated they were in the pool for 45 minutes. So, not sure if he was estimating accurately or not.

I demanded to know why first of all, I am just hearing about this now, and why they did not tell someone at the front desk. My son said, "I don't wanna be one of those kids." I tried to rein in my emotions over him not telling me and a Y worker.

Now, here is part two, of what he heard at school today. So, who knows if this part is true. Apparently, one of the boys told his parents about it Friday night. This particular boy saw the man's face as he was in the locker room when the man came out of the shower stall. And the dad called the police and then the next day, this boy and his family were at the Y and he saw the man at the Y. So, he told his parents, and the man was caught.

That part of the story does seem hard to believe. But it could be true. I hope it is true and that he got caught.

I think this is a valuable story for parents because I thought that my son would have told me right away about something like this. I tried to tell him ways he could have been discreet in telling someone at the front desk what was going on.

So, anyway, the only part of the story I know is true is about the masturbating part, since my son saw with his own eyes.

My game plan right now is to ask at the Y tomorrow and see if they know what is going on. If they don't I will be calling the parents to see what part if any of the guy being identified is true. If what DS heard at school today is false, then perhaps, the Y knows nothing about this.

I am just sick right now over this. It is sickening that he would do this when he knows that it is a night about kids and that the majority of kids in the locker room are going to be there sans parental guidance. And the way our Y locker rooms are set up, the regular locker rooms and 18+ have shared showers.

I am torn in wondering if my son just viewed it as some guy acting nutty or if he saw it as a predator move. I think it was the former. Of course, he told me this on the cusp of his bedtime, so I decided to wait to discuss it further in the morning when I had my emotions in check. Also, I think DS will be more forthcoming about what he thinks about all of this if it is just me and him talking about it, not in front of DH.

Man, this just is so awful I have a stomach ache right now. I really hope that the story of the guy getting identified is true.

wow thats scary..I think boys have a hard time talking(or at least thats what I noticed with my son)....

We try and instill all the right things for them to do , but unless it actually happens to them we do not know how they will act.

Glad your son is safe, and hopefully that sicko was caught!

Hugs!

That is very sick and disturbing. I don't understand why if the Y is hosting a "Y" night for young kids that it would even be open to the public?

I sure do hope it is true he was caught. Some of my son's words were, "Lance's mom told Hunter to make sure he told his parents about this." Lance is the child who supposedly helped in getting him caught.

One would think that if Lance really helped I.D. the guy, Lance's mom would have made sure to contact all the parents. So, I am wavering big time on that part of the story.

I am just really feeling like a lousey parent for having a son who did not know that is something I NEEDED to know about. But my son does spend a lot of time in the Y locker room, as he showers after swimming and goes with our friend who is also his trainer. So, my son must see naked men regularly, and maybe just thought that this certain naked man had a strange habit without realizing that is it not appropriate to do such a thing.

Heidi, I know what you mean. I was probably too stupid to realize the danger, and believe me, I am going through the ultimate guilt trip right now.

Of course, when my son went both times (he has only done this twice) I reviewed the "stranger danger" as far as not leaving with anyone at all no matter what they told him. But I was so remiss on not talking to him about what may happen in the locker room.

I realized that I would also like some advice from parents about this...

As I stated, he told me this just before bed, and I think he will be more candid about it all when it is just me and him tomorrow morning.

What I wonder is how much should I scare him about this? I already told him that this guy is obviously a bad guy and that if someone does something like that they may have a gun and that it was really wrong for them not to tell the front desk.

Tomorrow morning, we will talk about this further. And I have already realized that I can't wait until work is done tomorrow, so I am going to have last names of the kids involved in seeing this so that when I call the Y, if that gets me nowhere, I can get somewhere. I don't really know Lance's mom that well, but I think she is a stay at home mom. So she should be able to answer my call during the day.

Thanks Jasmine. I called the Y and no one working knows anything tonight. I will call after nine in the morning tomorrow when I can speak to a manager. Then, if the parent calls yield nothing, I will call the police. Thanks for that suggestion.


Unfortunately, the only witness part my son had was the seeing of the actions with the penis. Makes me sick.

Thanks again, Jasmine. If I let him go to Y night again, ever, it will not include him swimming. That way he won't have to enter the locker room.