Thread: Oh my god

If it's really about money ... why aren't you trying to team up w/ the ex's family and do this together w/ them? I mean, come on... it's a defenseless child... it's not rocket science... you do what you have to do, even if it means going in to debt up to your freaking eyeballs for them.

Originally Posted by justme23

If it's really about money ... why aren't you trying to team up w/ the ex's family and do this together w/ them? I mean, come on... it's a defenseless child... it's not rocket science... you do what you have to do, even if it means going in to debt up to your freaking eyeballs for them.

the ex's father and step mom have said they'll give me $500, his mother said she'd give $500 however like 2 weeks later she changed her mind. his sister is unable to help, neither is his lil bro. so that's $500 that i have to put to it. leaving me with $1500 to come up with for just the retainer, which if i were working would be able to get saved within 3 months if that. i have tried to see about taking out a loan. my credit is so screwed from the ex(he was anti paying bills which is part of the reason he's my ex) and my car is a 2000 so no one will take it as collateral.

I did contact legal aid today they're going to have someone give me a call to do intake.

Originally Posted by Bahet

You are allowing your son to be abused.

I think this is a BIT harsh...

While I dont agree with the decisions she has made, I DO understand them. My ex is a MAJOR a-hole who thinks he controls the world with his "manliness"...sometimes its easier just to appease the jerk who has your child than to stir up a whole can of worms.

Please do NOT flame me for stating MY OWN OPINION.....

She came here asking for the support she has see us give to other people. Dont bash her because you dont agree with the decisions she has made. They are HER decisions, good or bad. YOU can not MAKE her do something she isnt ready to do or doesnt have the capability of doing right now.

You dont know the whole situation. You dont know what kind of a man her ex is. Just listen to her and support her. You would expect the same from her or anyone else on this board.


JMHO

Originally Posted by Licchl05

the ex's father and step mom have said they'll give me $500, his mother said she'd give $500 however like 2 weeks later she changed her mind. his sister is unable to help, neither is his lil bro. so that's $500 that i have to put to it. leaving me with $1500 to come up with for just the retainer, which if i were working would be able to get saved within 3 months if that. i have tried to see about taking out a loan. my credit is so screwed from the ex(he was anti paying bills which is part of the reason he's my ex) and my car is a 2000 so no one will take it as collateral.

I did contact legal aid today they're going to have someone give me a call to do intake.

call cps, now. It's free.

Originally Posted by DreamWarrior

I think this is a BIT harsh...

While I dont agree with the decisions she has made, I DO understand them. My ex is a MAJOR a-hole who thinks he controls the world with his "manliness"...sometimes its easier just to appease the jerk who has your child than to stir up a whole can of worms.

Please do NOT flame me for stating MY OWN OPINION.....

She came here asking for the support she has see us give to other people. Dont bash her because you dont agree with the decisions she has made. They are HER decisions, good or bad. YOU can not MAKE her do something she isnt ready to do or doesnt have the capability of doing right now.

You dont know the whole situation. You dont know what kind of a man her ex is. Just listen to her and support her. You would expect the same from her or anyone else on this board.

JMHO

Knowing this board, I would expect the good, the bad and the ugly to come out.LOL Meaning people are going to post their (hopefully) honest opinions. When you come here to post, especially V/W, you're going to get opinions, even if they differ from everyone else's. Granted, some are harsh and brutally honest, which I think some people do need a reality check , and some will give the huggy support they want. KWIM?

BUT, to sit and do nothing, the mom is just as bad as the abuser (s). It seems the OP is more worried about the ex's girlfriend, then her son. (JMO, from what OP has posted)

Originally Posted by NasCat

I guess you all know, she's not going to do anything about this any time soon. I just hope and pray it's not too late, when she does. Poor kid....

No, I AM doing something about it, it might not be what YOU or anyone else on this board thinks I should do, however it's MY decision to go about this the way I see it should be handled. tyvm

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I'm not saying I'm not willing to do anything. In a sense I'm caught in a catch 22...damned if i do damned if i don't.
If I call CYS they will most likely speak to my son @ the home even though the ex and gf aren't in same room he still wouldn't talk. The gf would know it's me who called and then i run into my son being treated even worse, and them cutting his contact to me(as it is my phone calls are hardly answered...the excuse is the ex is at work and i'm not allowed to call the gf's cell phone because she's a beezy) I've told the ex that AJ needs to see someone about the divorce and all that, he won't take him!!

The only logical thing i can think of is reaching out to the school for help.

I may not be the perfect parent, but i know that no one else on this board is either. I'm trying to figure out the best way to get the answers and not have my son retalitated against by her.

In theory, the CPS worker should be able to look through the BS and see "signs". They are trained for this. The person, if they showed up at their house, would more than likely ask if she could be alone with your son for a few minutes, whether on the front porch or a walk around the block. I am not being ugly, but it is YOUR responsibilty to keep your son or any other child safe. If they are abusing your son, then the other children will also be abused. It is wrong regardless of who is the parents. These are children.