my kids grrrrrrrr

**Mom2-3boys** · 05-20-2008, 07:49 AM

I just had a convo. with my sons, 12 and 10, yesterday about being accountable and accepting responsibility for their actions. It wasn't anything against the law, it was about homework, not studying for tests they know about or papers getting lost in the desk/locker and then getting zeros on it, the schools here give you one day to get late work in and then you only get half credit after a day you get a zero. well we have a portal where we can check overall grades and homework assignments well my 12 y/o son had an A in Science all year long then 3 zeros for not turning in work so it brought it down to a B, not that having a B is a big deal, but when it's because he can't find the papers in his locker cause its such a d*** mess, it is to me. My 10 y/o has gotten D's on tests he knew about well in advance, I'd tell him don't forget your book...and he always forgot his book and always had an excuse. That's my biggest pet peeve is my kids making excuses for things that were clearly within their control and I told them such. I said it's one thing if you try and get a bad grade and a totally different situation when it's just due to lack of thinking or organizing. Then my 12 y/o starts " Yeah but...." I said no "buts" I have made you clean your locker out several times this year I have bought you stuff to keep you organized and each time told you to keep it clean and each time it was a total mess AGAIN, and that is no ones fault but your own, so I don't want to hear "Yeah but!" My kids don't like the fact that I keep tabs on their grades/assignments and when/if they get a C grade overall on the portal they lose video games. They argue that a C is not a bad grade lots of people they know have C's and even D's, and I tell them I agree C's aren't that bad, but when I know and they have proven that they can both do better then C's then I expect better. My 10 y/o seems to think because it's the end of the year bad test grades and C's don't matter...I told him Think again!!
My parents never asked or checked if I had homework, I rarely studied for tests, did my homework but never really applied myself. I graduated from high school with honors, I always wonder how I would have done had I had someone pushing me. That's why I am on them I want them to do better then "getting by" with C's and D's
The other thing is the way my 10 and 12 y/o fight. I know there is a certain amount of fighting that will always go on, but jeez they are ALWAYS at it. I am at my wits end!

They went with my DH's grandmother Sat. and part of Sun. and it was so peaceful. I picked them up she told me how good they were and not even an hour later they were at it again. My husband is leaving in the a.m. for 6 days and I am really wondering how I am going to stay sane. I guess I will end up doing what I did last week when they got really bad, confining them to their room without tv and video games. Everyone keep their fingers crossed for me

that I have a good week ahead of me! Sorry I got so long winded!

**Advertisement** · 05-20-2008 07:49 AM

**Renrut** · 05-20-2008, 07:52 AM

{{{{hugs**********

***ahippiechic*** · 05-20-2008, 07:58 AM

I feel ya on the "0" thing! My DD is 7 and recently got a 0 because she didn't turn a homework packet in. She tried making excuses but I made sure she did the work, and made sure it was in her backpack when it was due. It is HER responsiblity to get it from there to the teacher. (she did find and turn it in but got points taken off for it being late)
It brought her grade down to a B also and she didn't think that it was a big deal. I told her the same as you told your sons....if she does her best and gets a B that is one thing, but getting one because she isn't trying is not acceptable. She also thinks that since she still has an A average, that 1 0 is ok. I told there is no excuse for not doing your best.

As for the fighting, my 2 are 20 years apart, so I didn't have to deal with that, lol!

**BBELEAZAHR** · 05-20-2008, 08:03 AM

**ladybugva** · 05-20-2008, 08:29 AM

((hugs)) I see what I have to look forward to and it already started. LOL my 1st grader has gotten "messy" or "incomplete" on home work and he doesn't like it but I told him that it was his responsibility he has his HW folder and by now at the end of the yr he should be better at it. (I say that know that I often forgot my stuff also) Best of luck when DH is out of town.

**DezaRay24** · 05-20-2008, 08:39 AM

I totally feel your pain! I've been going through this with my son. He gets nuttin but F's and D's. He never turns in work and when he does do the work it never makes it back to school. He didn't get Halloween this year or his Xmas gifts until his grades came up which was the end of Jan before he got to open a single gift! Nothing I have tried is working either. Now we are debating on holding him back in 6th grade one more year since not only is he behind in his work but behind in social and mature wise. All in all he isn't ready for 7th grade. We are going today to talk to a counslor to see if thye can figure out why he just don't give a crap about schoo.

**diana_circe** · 05-20-2008, 11:17 AM

Not that I'm glad that you're having issues with your boys, but I am so glad I'm not the only one! My oldest son has had detentions several days a week for the last few weeks due to not turning in homework. He has no excuse, he has two study halls. Maybe its a boy thing? My boys are 10 and 14, and they are full of excuses too.

**sunie** · 05-20-2008, 12:33 PM

I'm glad that I'm not the only one either my 7 yr. old is a big time drama queen I see acting in her future, Jake 9 has untreated ADHD and he's everywhere at once, and Chris my 14 yr. old deceided to loose his mind two weeks ago and get suspended for the last 9 days of school because him and a friend got their hands on a lighter and bottle rockets from another friend and light them out the school bus window, so now he can't take his last finals....Oh yes he is so grounded he is under the house with no chance of seeing day light again.

Oh and fight there is NO moment of peace here the oldest is a big bully and the middle does things he KNOWS will egg it on.

**Rogerslmc** · 05-20-2008, 12:43 PM

Originally Posted by sunie

I'm glad that I'm not the only one either my 7 yr. old is a big time drama queen I see acting in her future, Jake 9 has untreated ADHD and he's everywhere at once, and Chris my 14 yr. old deceided to loose his mind two weeks ago and get suspended for the last 9 days of school because him and a friend got their hands on a lighter and bottle rockets from another friend and light them out the school bus window, so now he can't take his last finals....Oh yes he is so grounded he is under the house with no chance of seeing day light again.

Oh and fight there is NO moment of peace here the oldest is a big bully and the middle does things he KNOWS will egg it on.

LMAO! TOO funny! We threw M-80's! Much worse than bottle rockets. But that was ages ago and no one got suspended. Just my Mother called and I got the hell beat out of me.

"They argue that a C is not a bad grade lots of people they know have C's and even D's, and I tell them I agree C's aren't that bad, but when I know and they have proven that they can both do better then C's then I expect better."

My girls loved to throw around that line on everything! But "so and so". I simply smiled and said well I love you too much to allow you to do...

***ahippiechic*** · 05-20-2008, 12:47 PM

Or the tried and true.."But I'm not so and so's mom".

And we did M-80's too and put them in some lockers. I had a choice...3 licks with the paddle or a week suspension. I enjoyed my week off, after my red butt went away from the belt whipping I got from home!

**PrincessArky** · 05-20-2008, 01:31 PM

except for the fact you have 2 boys our stories are the same.....my 10 yr old is a girl......I swear I dont know what to do to make them want to be even a little bit grown up........my son's grades slipped so badly this year that he barely made the honor roll all year and that is NOT acceptable in my house.

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