Thread: One More Vent about Inlaws

Sorry, don't normally vent, but really feel the need since their weekend visit. MIL loves to go to garage sale (nothing wrong with that) but unfortunately buys a lot of junk, then gives it to all of us. She shows up with a bag of goodies for my daughter's birthday, which is in December. She also gives my youngest son his birthday card with $50! Very generous. His b-day is next week. My daughter privately told me that last year she got a bag of mostly used clothes and books last year, but no money from Grandma. I honestly couldn't remember. I secretly looked in her card and there's no money. (Of course she would rather have the money over used items). This needs to be brought to MIL's attention, but I do not want to come off the wrong way.

FIL is a closet smoker. Everyone knows he sneaks in his bathroom and smokes. No one EVER brings it up. Well, he comes to visit our home, which we just moved in 2 months ago, and goes in my bathroom and smokes! Is this slightly rude? I think he could have gone outside or in the garage, but apparently it was easier to hide in my bathroom. I will not confront him, but I told my husband that he must confront him the next time they visit.

One more thing. FIL told me that he wanted to take pictures of our home to show his daughter (my SIL). That's fine with me, and I am sure I told him to give me a little notice. Well, one day he decides to take pictures when the house is at its messiest. I told him to please stop and let me pick up a bit (there were a total of 9 people in the house that weekend. You can imagine how it didn't take long to get messy). I am picking up, but he just keeps on taking pictures. I was really pissed and I think he was just trying to push my buttons, and embarrass me.

Okay, I'm done. As much as I wish the kids saw their grandparents more, I am not certain that I could live nearby them. Maybe I have come unaccustomed to their ways.

I agree with tngirl, and maybe your MIL don't know what to buy for you son so she gives him money instead. I think it is the thought that counts. If it bothers you that much maybe mention that next year your daughter would like money instead. She may be buying you "junk" but isn't it the thought that counts? At least she is thinking of you. As far as the FIL smoking in the bathroom, I had to laugh. It made me think back to when I was about 14 and smoking in the bathroom. As soon as someone would open the door the smoke would roll out and I fooled no one. Maybe just tell him you would appriciate him not smoking in your house because you are trying to set an example for your kids and he isn't hiding anything when someone goes in there after him. And that smoking outside would be much better because no one would smell the smoke a few minutes later.

They could be much worse, I am sure you have heard horrible in law stories.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my inlaws and my gripes probably seem a bit picky compared to what others may have. I'm glad that these are my biggest complaints. I do not want to sound unappreciative, but she does spend money on all this, and the truth is, we would rather her not go to the trouble picking these items up at garage sales, and just take the money. I have hinted in the past that we don't need all these items, but she continues to buy and buy thinking that she is doing everyone a favor. In addition to what she brought for my daughter, she gave me around 20 used sweaters that would probably look better on her. (Don't even want to know what she spent on these....that's the part that hurts). I am going to send her a thankyou note and tell her that we appreciate everything, but just do not have the room for all these things anymore. I secretly donate almost everything she gives and do not want to burst her bubble, but I think I really have to be more forward with her.
She has a tendency to listen on deaf ears though.

Originally Posted by Quaker_Parrots

FIL or not, I would have had to say something about the cigarettes. My husband is a former smoker, I put up with that for almost 10 years. I do not smoke, but mom did when I was growing up. If it were me, I could care less if it was in the bathoom, NO ONE smokes in my house, ever again.

So far as the gifts, that is a toughy, does MIL favor your ds?

No, we do not smoke, and I do not care to be around cigarette smoke. It's bad enough when we go to their house and they insist that we sleep in their room since there are 5 of us. Our clothes end up reeking of smoke since the master bathroom is his smoke room. It is his house and he can do whatever he likes, but we need to find another alternative. I really didn't think, though, that he would pull that at our house. He is in denial if he thinks we don't know or can't smell. It will never happen again, I am certain of that.

My MIL does tend to favor my youngest son, even though she does gives gifts to all the kids. The past 2 years, he has gotten $50, which is generous, but the other kids kind of expect it too.

Steena-I hate staying at my sisters for the same reason! I have to unload the suitcases in the garage and shove everything into the washing machine as soon as we get home. Good thing gebreeze helps with the shoes and suitcases. We're not smokers, so the smell really is strong to me. Next time we visit, it's a motel for us.

And it's just not right not to treat each child the same come birthday time. Maybe she should just stop with the gifts all together, if she can't play fair. If she can't afford to give everyone $50, she should just split what she can give. Does she have an issue with a forgotten thank you? Sometimes people get spiteful over stuff like that...

I think he shouldnt smoke in your house. Make it a rule & let them know.

[QUOTE=chilla Point I was trying to make - your MIL might have a very reasonable explanation for why she treats them differently. Try asking her. You might be surprised.[/QUOTE]


Probably because he is nice to her and holds her hand when they walk, and my son looks quite a bit like his dad, her son.