Thread: Baby name game NOT!!!!!!

My name is obviously "Kelsey"...(well...maybe not that obvious.)

I'm 56 years old and was the only "Kelsey" that I knew growing up. As a child, I hated being different. However, now I love my name.

It has become a really trendy name during the last 10 years or so. My daughter is a teacher and she said that she always has at least one Kelsey in her class.

On the other side though, I actually thought of using it for my daughter...but then realized that I would be "Big Kelsey" for the rest of my life. So I reconsidered that!

My hubby and I are trying to get preggos soon, and my problem lies with my MIL. She is throwing a fit because of the last name. I refuse to change my name, and hubby and I have agreed that a girl would get my last name and a boy gets hubby's last name. MIL is telling me I'll be a terrible parent b/c kids wouldn't have the same last names. She said the kids would turn out weird.

My favorite weird name is Trout. Some guy a few years ago changed his name to Trout Fishing. I just find it amusing.

Originally Posted by cubsgirl21

My hubby and I are trying to get preggos soon, and my problem lies with my MIL. She is throwing a fit because of the last name. I refuse to change my name, and hubby and I have agreed that a girl would get my last name and a boy gets hubby's last name. MIL is telling me I'll be a terrible parent b/c kids wouldn't have the same last names. She said the kids would turn out weird.

My favorite weird name is Trout. Some guy a few years ago changed his name to Trout Fishing. I just find it amusing.

I'm afraid I agree w/ MIL. I wouldn't give my kids different last names on purpose. If they had different dads, that's different, obviously. Can you use the other last name as a middle name or hyphenate yours and DH's last names together for the kids, no matter the sex?

Originally Posted by Shancopp

I'm afraid I agree w/ MIL. I wouldn't give my kids different last names on purpose. If they had different dads, that's different, obviously. Can you use the other last name as a middle name or hyphenate yours and DH's last names together for the kids, no matter the sex?

I do not and will not ever hyphenate my name or change it for that matter. I just don't see why kids should automatically get my hubby's name. It's not fair to me and what I believe in. I've actually met a lot of families that have given the kids different last names and it's been working for them. I just don't see how the kid's last name would make me a horrible parent as my MIL claims.

Originally Posted by cubsgirl21

I do not and will not ever hyphenate my name or change it for that matter. I just don't see why kids should automatically get my hubby's name. It's not fair to me and what I believe in. I've actually met a lot of families that have given the kids different last names and it's been working for them. I just don't see how the kid's last name would make me a horrible parent as my MIL claims.

I never said you'd be a horrible parent. Your MIL may have, but I didn't. I said I don't like the idea of the kids having different last names. That's my opinion. If you wanted everyone to agree with your way of thinking, should have added that to your original post.

Originally Posted by Shancopp

I never said you'd be a horrible parent. Your MIL may have, but I didn't. I said I don't like the idea of the kids having different last names. That's my opinion. If you wanted everyone to agree with your way of thinking, should have added that to your original post.

Whoa whoa whoa, where in any of my posts did I state that I wanted everyone to agree w/ me? It's a vent/whine section.

I completely respect your opinion, as I do everyone elses. All I did was answer your post about hyphenating. But apparently I came off harsh to you???

Originally Posted by cubsgirl21

Whoa whoa whoa, where in any of my posts did I state that I wanted everyone to agree w/ me? It's a vent/whine section.

I completely respect your opinion, as I do everyone elses. All I did was answer your post about hyphenating. But apparently I came off harsh to you???

I didn't say that you wanted everyone to agree w/ you. I said IF you wanted everyone to agree with you, should have put it in your original post. It just seemed to me that you didn't like an opinion that wasn't the same as yours. No big deal really.

Originally Posted by Shancopp

I didn't say that you wanted everyone to agree w/ you. I said IF you wanted everyone to agree with you, should have put it in your original post. It just seemed to me that you didn't like an opinion that wasn't the same as yours. No big deal really.

I'm just as confused as you are. All I did was answer your post about hypenating names. I respect your opinions completely, same as I would for anyone else. I'm confused as to why you think that I don't like your opinion. Did I come across harsh to you? Sorry if I did.

I'm all for people's opinions about this. I think it's interesting to see what people think about this. I've kept my name for personal and professional reasons. One of my grad school professors gave their kids two different last names, that's where I got the idea from.

Take it from someone who hyphenated her last name 30 years ago...I would not recommend it nor would I do it again!!! Even in this day and age, most computer systems can't accomodate a hyphenated last name. Because different cultures (all of whom reside in the United Stated) differ on which name goes first in a hyphenated last name, people have no idea how to address you. Just last week, an attorney asked for my name and address so he could mail me information on an employee. When I started to spell my last name, he exclaimed, "I refuse to use hyphenated last names!". My response was, "Then I guess you don't want me to get the documents then!" Needless to say, he took down my last name...hyphen and all!

If I could go back and change it I would. Unfortunately, my "identity" is totally enscounced in my hyphenated last name...credit history, property, etc.

I personally think it is a wonderful idea to give the daughters the surname of the mother and the son's the surname of the father. Why should the father's name be the only one carried on? Plus...many other cultures already do that exact same thing.

People always go on about children having differing names than their parents and how that affects them negatively. I've never seen that this is truly the case. My first husband and I divorced when our daughter was little and I took back my maiden name. I later remarried. My daughter and I never had the same last name when she attended school. Other than a teacher occasionally addressing me by my daughter's last name, there was never any problem with it. And I certainly never let that little confusion on the teacher's part bother me. My daughter only once expressed a desire to change her name to her step-father's name...and that was because it was a shorter name...LOL...not because having a different last name was creating problems for her.

JMHO...

Originally Posted by cubsgirl21

I do not and will not ever hyphenate my name or change it for that matter. I just don't see why kids should automatically get my hubby's name. It's not fair to me and what I believe in. I've actually met a lot of families that have given the kids different last names and it's been working for them. I just don't see how the kid's last name would make me a horrible parent as my MIL claims.

This is your original reply to my first post in this thread. You state, "I do not and will not ever hyphenate my name or change it for that matter." I was not asking if you would hyphenate YOUR name, but the kids. Such as "Sally Ann Smith-Jones" or whatever your last names are (yours and DH's). Also, I mentioned if your or your DH's last names would be cool to use as a middle name. Just trying to think of ways to compromise to make it less of an ordeal for your family. Maybe someday, the daughter may wonder why she didn't get the same last name as Dad and brother? You've got to admit, it is the norm for kids/wives to have Dad's last name. She may wonder why she didn't?

Heck, my DH's exwife got remarried and then divorced. She then took back my DH's name so that her daughter by DH and her would again have the same last name. It didn't bother me or DH one bit.

Hubby and I both have long last names. I don't like the idea of hyphenating for myself or kids for that and other reasons. I do appeaciate the suggestion though.

I just don't see why the man's name should automatically be given to the kids. It doesn't seem fair to me. My MIL is the only family member who has a problem with our choice.