Mother of Slain Soldier Denied Gold Star Membership

[volkswagon7]

As the mother of a Marine going to Iraq on August 1st, I was very upset to read this on Fox News. I think this organization is very wrong to act this way.


Mother of Slain Soldier Denied Gold Star Membership
Friday, May 27, 2005



WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Everyone agrees that Ligaya Lagman (search) is a Gold Star mother, part of the long line of mournful women whose sons or daughters gave their lives for their country. Her 27-year-old son, Army Staff Sgt. Anthony Lagman (search), was killed last year in Afghanistan, but American Gold Star Mothers Inc., has rejected Lagman, a Filipino, for membership because — though a permanent resident and a taxpayer — she is not a U.S. citizen.

"There's nothing we can do because that's what our organization says: You have to be an American citizen," national President Ann Herd said Thursday. "We can't go changing the rules every time the wind blows."

That explanation isn't satisfying the war veterans who sponsored Lagman's application, some other members of the mothers' group or several members of Congress.

"It is disheartening that any mother of a soldier, sailor, airman or Marine who has died in the line of duty would be denied membership in an organization that honors the memory of fallen service men and women," said Rep. Nita Lowey (search), whose district includes Lagman's home in Yonkers.

Rep. Eliot Engel, who represents an adjoining district, said the group should change its rules immediately.

"Whatever the excuse, American Gold Star Mothers' decision smacks of xenophobia and is in stark contrast to what Mrs. Lagman's son fought and died for," Engel said.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (search) said, "We now have many noncitizens serving honorably in our armed services, and I hope that this can be satisfactorily resolved."

A past president of the mothers' group, Dorothy Oxendine, of Farmingdale, said, "There's no discrimination in a national cemetery. There's no discrimination when they get killed side by side. So how can we discriminate against a mother?"

Another past president, Ann Wolcott, of York, Pa., said, "Times have changed since this organization was started, and there are a lot of men and women serving today whose parents are not citizens. I think they deserve every honor and privilege that we have as Gold Star mothers."

Oxendine and Wolcott said they believe that given the increasing diversity of the armed forces there have been noncitizens in the 1,200-member organization who overlooked or ignored the citizenship question on the application.

Lagman has lived in the United States for more than 20 years. She was not at home Thursday, apparently tending to her husband, who is hospitalized. But her other son, Chris Lagman, said in Thursday's The Journal News that all she wants "is recognition as the mother of this fallen soldier."

Lagman's application was initiated by Ben Spadaro (search), a veteran from Yonkers, who said he learned about the citizenship rules of the American Gold Star Mothers (search) while working on a national cemetery committee of the Veterans Administration. When he learned of Anthony Lagman's death and saw Lagman was a citizen but his mother was not, he thought, "He's buried in a military cemetery, with full honors. She should be able to join."

"We decided to tell the absolute truth on the application," he said. "We put down, `I am not an American citizen.' It was a ploy to get them to reject her, and then we said they should change the rules."

But the organization's 12-member executive board voted against any change.

"We can't go changing the rules every time we turn around," said Herd, the national president. "When we have problems within our organization with people not abiding by the rules, we just get it straightened out, we don't change the rules."

Oxendine, the former president, said she is sure the general membership would approve a rules change if the board did.

"I can't believe that 12 intelligent women would ever not have it in their hearts to think about another Gold Star mother," Oxendine said. "You pay a high price to join the American Gold Star Mothers. I figure her dues were paid."

Spadaro isn't giving up. He had his brother, a Florida lawyer, write to the Department of Justice, noting the mothers' organization has received federal assistance and demanding an investigation.

And on Monday, during Memorial Day observances at Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 2285 in Eastchester, Lagman will be presented with a gold necklace bearing a simple gold star.

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[Donnagg123]

how sad. She should be allowed in.

[Kelsey1224]

This is very sad. And I think it is hardly "changing the rules whenever the wind blows."

These women should be ashamed of themselves. Rather than setting themselves apart...they should relate to this other mother who has experienced the same loss that they have.

[schsa]

They have a group and they have rules. So she is not going to be allowed to join. Maybe she should start her own group of women who are not American citizens but have lost sons in combat. Why would she want to join any group that doesn't want her as a member?

I agree that the group has a very narrow vision so start your own group and allow anyone who is the mother of a fallen soldier join. And shove it in their faces.

[YNKYH8R]

You know (if I was her) I would run right out…..



and become and American citizen.

Yeah, I know sounds kind of crappy; however you must be a citizen to vote and to be president. So this isn’t the only thing not being a citizen holds you back from.

[Shann]

That's so sad.. her son fought to keep our freedom (the freedom of those women) and she can't get so much as a token of appreciation and honor b/c she's not a citizen.

[queenangie]

It also stated on the link that this group received money from government funding.

I thought government funding meant no discrimination or the funding would stop.

IMA, this woman deserves the right to join. She lost her son just as the other mothers have...serving our country.

[jonette5]

I feel very sorry for this woman in the fact that she lost her son, but IMO if she has lived in this country for 20 years and has not bothered to become a citizen then she DOES NOT deserve any of the rights being a citizen gives her. If this groups policy is that it is only open to American citizens, then if she wants to join she needs to become a citizen. I do not think it is discrimination to not let her join. Non-citizens cannot vote, run for office, etc.... and no one says this is discrimination, so why should the ability to join this group be treated any differently? Personally I think if you are going to live in this country and take jobs that American citizens need then by gosh become a citizen or GET OUT!

[YankeeMary]

I feel very sorry for this woman in the fact that she lost her son, but IMO if she has lived in this country for 20 years and has not bothered to become a citizen then she DOES NOT deserve any of the rights being a citizen gives her. If this groups policy is that it is only open to American citizens, then if she wants to join she needs to become a citizen. I do not think it is discrimination to not let her join. Non-citizens cannot vote, run for office, etc.... and no one says this is discrimination, so why should the ability to join this group be treated any differently? Personally I think if you are going to live in this country and take jobs that American citizens need then by gosh become a citizen or GET OUT!

Nicely put...I agree 100%.

[YankeeMary]

That's so sad.. her son fought to keep our freedom (the freedom of those women) and she can't get so much as a token of appreciation and honor b/c she's not a citizen.

Not trying to fight her but whose freedom is she fighting for? This war isn't about OUR freedom?!?! I don't understand your comment? I am not the brightest light bulb in the pack maybe I just am misunderstanding something...thanks in advance.

[schsa]

There are reasons why people don't become American citizens and sometimes it has nothing to do with love of country. They can't let go of their own country. And keep in mind that her son gave his life not for his mother's country.

She isn't knocking being an American. She has an affinity to her own country that she is not ready to give up.