Anybody have one of these ???

[babymaniac]

The man who rents our tenant house also happens to have been my DH's friend for like 15 years.So they were friends way before I ever came along.He is a very sweet and helpful guy but here is the problem.Around this time last year , he asked DH how much we would charge to let him live in the tenant house and Dh told him $100.00 a month.This guy is single with no kids.But my husband did tell him that if he did not need the things that we already had the house provided with to let us know and we would store the stuff somewhere else on the property.Within a month, the guy had taken out the refrigerator and washer and dryer and hauled them away for junk.(these things were in working condition.) He burned (yes burned) the sofa and beds.He also decided to "remodel" the bathroom and tore out the shower stall and as of yet has not replaced that.All of this was without ever asking us.I was ready to choke the guy but my DH said nothing really.By the way, the guy has not once paid us any rent.
Right after moving in , he came and helped himself to our riding mower,broke the blades by mowing over rocks and we had to replace those out of our own pockets.Once we fixed the mower, he came right back and borrowed it again and again without asking and without ever replacing the gas that he used.After taking apart the tenant house,he proceeded to start coming to our house taking his showers and doing his laundry.Using our laundry detergent.Once ,I had a load of clothes still in the washer and he threw my wet laundry in the floor so he could use the washer !!!! He has also helped himself to my scented candles and plants growing in the yard (really ,he just dug them up and took them.)When I mention stuff to him he tells me " oh it was just a candle "....etc... But that is not my point !! To me , this is just flat out stealing.Dh does not say much because this is his friend But I say friends do not treat people like this
This past month , he came and took our mower one evening while we were at dinner(it was raining out.I have never known anyone but him to mow in the rain.)He drove the mower through the mud and muck to his house and brought it back covered in wet grass and mud .And ,guess what, it was broken.We had to spend almost 200.00 on parts this time.And then the guy had the nerve to charge DH 21.00 for helping put on the parts!! DH has RA and cannot move his wrists well enough to turn wrenches etc...
A few nights ago, our dog had puppies and we were going to put her up away from all the other dogs and when we went to get our cedar shavings from the shed , they were gone. So I called and left this guy a message asking if he would happen to know where they were.He calls the next afternoon and tells me he took them because my DH had told him that he could use a few of them.I snapped and told him that just because someone tells you that you can have a little of something it does not mean you can take ALL of it and especially not without even asking.
DH and I argue over this guy a lot.Basically because I am tired of going to use something that we own and it not being where we left it or if it is there , it is broken.Also, this guy is costing us a lot of money.DH says this guy is his friend and he doesn't want to be rude.I feel that sometimes the only way to handle rude people is to be rude right back .Any suggestions???

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[Quaker_Parrots]

Friend or not, sounds like he needs to be kicked to the curb(maybe along with DH? if he argues)

[aimefisher]

Not to sound rude but EVICTION!!!

[bribella]

Oh my gosh! i can't believe how rude this man is and your DH just lets him!? If I was in your shoes my DH would be living with his friend in the tenant house! I would put my foot down with your DH and let him know that either it stops or he can live with his friend and pay you rent!

[mom2cvam]

Not to sound rude but EVICTION!!!

ITA
This guy is being a jerk!! Until someone puts their foot down, he'll keep going the way he has. He needs a wake-up call real fast!!

[1tiredmom]

you didn't say whether or not he has family that he communicats(sp?) with on a regular basis -get some some quick drying cement & put it in his shoes and dump him!!
what little stuff he has (if he has any at all) would be outside on the curb & if it's worth keeping sell it to replace anything if you can!

[babymaniac]

Dh is a really good man .He just lets people walk all over him. He hates to be mean with this guy because the guy has no family and really never has .Hubby seems to think that the guy looks at us like we are his family.If there is a way to resolve this without being at war with DH all the time ,I would love to know.Like,Dh is ok with loaning this guy our mower again and I say no way ! So , instead of telling him that he can't borrow it because he broke it , he tells him that he wouldn't mind but that maybe he should come ask me.I would rather people see that we have a united front in these situations instead of it looking like I am the one always being a witch.I just really wish there could be a nice solution for this.

[Momof2totsand1teen]

Your husband may think of this guy as his "friend", but a true friend would never use you two like this. I would give him 2 weeks to GET OUT! I would make sure to be home while he is moving out so he doesn't take your things with him. Put your foot down and get this jerk far away from you before it causes real problems in your marraige.

Sorry you have to deal with this. The sooner you get him out, the better.

[Thawn]

You need to be honest with people from the beginning. The very first time when he got rid of the appliances and furniture you needed to say something. This sounds like it just keeps escalating. Write up "The Rules". Have it in writing. Hand him his own copy. People need to know the boundaries.

Edit to add Good Luck!

[UROCgirl]

I don't know how you can get your husband to grow a backbone (maybe that is the wrong word) and just kick the guy to the curb. I am sure he fears being rude to this guy but this "friend" does NOT consider you family or he would not treat you or your property so badly.

We have had my hubbys friends live with us from time and time for short periods of time and none of them behaved in any way like that. SOme are more considerate than others some cleaned and some did not but nothing like this freaky guy.

I know you don't want to look like the bad guy either but I am sure neither you or your husband want this to ruin your marriage. I would have a talk with your husband and tell him you can not stand this anymore and it is affecting your marriage now. If your fighting about this, that is very unhealthy and you need to have people and friends in your lives that contribute to your life and marriage and not tear it down. Losing this "friend" will be no loss to either of you. Let him find someone else to mooch off he is a big boy & he can take care of himself.

Sit down with your hubby and tell him this has to stop now. Come up with a united front and tell the guy the situation is not working, he has to leave, and you are going to start renovation on the place immediately. Take the door off, start painting, strip the place out. Whatever just to get rid of him.

I hope I don't sound mean, this is just my advice and I have had people who are like that in our lives and have kicked them to the curb and lost contact with them and I don't miss them one bit. I am older now and only pursue and keep friendships with other people who are considerate and treat our family like we treat theirs.


Have your hubby read this thread! No one should be treated like this from someone who claims to be a friend.

[babymaniac]

You need to be honest with people from the beginning. The very first time when he got rid of the appliances and furniture you needed to say something. This sounds like it just keeps escalating. Write up "The Rules". Have it in writing. Hand him his own copy. People need to know the boundaries.

Edit to add Good Luck!

That's just it.I do say something a lot of times.But basically I am just ignored plus my DH doesn't like me going off the deep end .He doesn't understand why I get so upset.The friend is really thick headed or something.When I point out things to him(the friend),he seems to think I am kidding or maybe he just thinks what I say doesn't count since he was around before me .My first post is just a small example of the annoying stuff this guy does.It gets embarrassing to have to point out to a grown man why certain thins just aren't proper.

Also, thanks to you and everyone else who has replied with suggestions.