Thread: My son and his controlling girl friend.

As some of you know my oldest son is almost 16. He finally has his first real girl friend who is a year younger than him. I want/wanted to be happy for him but ever since he has started this relationship, he has turned into a totally different kid.

We have had so many discussions about the limit of phone time, the amount of evenings they need to be together ect. All I get in return is " You don't want me to be happy", "You don't care about my feelings", and my personal favorite is "You are giving me emotional scars".

DS has always been a straight A student, but ever since girls have came into the picture his grades started to slip, another battle.

If I try to take a privalege away from him, his girlfriend will keep coaching him on ways to argue with me (she will not take no for an answer). I finally caught onto that when we were having a discussion, and he was wearing his headest to his cordless phone, and he kept listening to what she had to say , and repeat it back to me. I told him to hang up and we would finish our discussion which he wouldn't do, so we pulled the phione line out of his room. We told him he needs to shows us he will be responsible before it will be reinstalled.

When his girl friend calls here, she will not leave a message on the answering machine, she will just keep calling and calling and calling until he picks up the phone. Even some of his friends have told him that her behavior isn't right. But he doesn't believe anyone.


He started to improve and brought his grades up to all A's and two B's, which was a struggle but all the disscussions paid off. He was able to go to his Military Ball (which I told him he couldn't go if he didn't get his grades up), and was voted Sophmore Prince, top cadet, and also promoted. It was a good night for him and us.


And to top things off, yesterday after I picked him up at school, I told him he can't talk on the phone until his home work is done and his room was clean. Well his girl friend kept calling and calling until he picked up the phone. I told him to get off and finish his homework, and since he chose to break the rule he lost the phone for the rest of the evening. He was not happy but he didn't argue (which shocked me). I figured he would try to sneak on the phone after I went to bed, so I took the phone in my bedroom. Well the little sneak took my cell phone and called the girl. I didn't realize until after he left for school this morning. He use to be a sweet kids, I want my old son back.

Oh well, no need to reply, I just needed to get all this off my chest.

Originally posted by JENNIFERCATLADY
Since I don't have kids, I'm probably the worst one to say anything. When I was younger, my mom's rule was do your homework first, then you can do what you want. As for the girlfriend...wow! She's 15 and doing this stuff?!?! Best advice I can give you? Don't trash her to your son. That will only make him want to spend more time with her. Hopefully he will open his eyes soon and see her for the type of person she really is. I don't blame you for taking away his priviledges. Good luck and try not to pull your hair out!!!

I haven't said a bad word to him about her, but when I started limiting the amount of time they could spend together, and I told him since she lives about 35 minutes away I wouldn't be driving him/them back and forth as much. Well her mom doesn't find it a problem and drives her over here and picks her up. Sometimes she is only able to stay and hour, but her mom doesn't care. So she usually gets what she wants from he mom. It drives me nuts. They probally think I am a witch because of the rules we enforce on him.

I would be having a serious conversation with little missy's parents or guardians.

hhehehe he's in love and we all know love is blind....he will eventually take off the rose colored glasses and get tired of her controlling ways. Right now this is all new to him.

However your rules are to be followed, you are the parent. I would block her number and tell him he can call her at a designated time for a certain length of time. I dunno how well this will work cuz I remember being that age and always wanting to be the other person either on the phone or in person. Perhaps talk with HER parents and explain she constantly calls. Good luck

I agree with lassss on this one. I wouldn't talk ill of this girl because it will only cause your son to defend her.

However, you are the parent and you make the rules. I would block her phone number and keep an eye on the cell phone. His stealing it would be grounds for 'grounding'. Until he can learn to respect your rules, then he is restricted.

As a 'cadet', he understands the concept of authority. Right now...you have authority over him, both morally and legally. If he can't abide by your authority, how does he expect to submit the military authority. If necessary...get his commanding officer involved.

I would also try to have a serious discussion with her parents.

One of the best things about young love is that it ends fairly quickly. I would not do anything to stop them, however I would be sure that he understands that when his grades slip, or if they slip, whatever he wants, he isn't getting. Lock up the phones if you have to or buy him a cell phone with limited minutes and then you take posession of all of the other phones. Once his time is used up, too bad, so sad.

Let him see her until he gets sick of her. There is so much more fun in sneaking around behind Mom's back that when you quit objecting, the fun will end.