Being a SAHM can really bite sometimes

[amysusi]

Because DH works, and I'm the SAHM, my schedule revolves around his. But it really bites that he always makes last minute plans, and who gets the kick in the rear? Me. Last Saturday I gave up choir practice (and our last one at that) so he could show houses to someone (he does Real Estate on the side). Then we both had a meeting at church, but I stayed home so someone could run the office(office is open 9-5). He's always bugging me to be home early on Wednesdays (youth night at church- I'm a leader)so he can go play basketball early (wants to be there before everyone else). Now, my friend has invited me to go with her to a Mary Kay glamour workshop this Saturday. DH says he might have to show houses. I told him not to wait until last minute to let me know. He says because he doesn't have a realtor's key, he has to borrow from other agents, and it's hard to get. Auuuughhh, get your own d*** key!! I have a life, stop trying to take it away. You always have time for others, but not your wife. It just sucks. I'm so hurt and so mad right now. Thanks for bearing with me on my second vent of today.

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[freeplease]

and then there's being a SAHM that's being a bit of a doormat. Why is his life more important than yours? With a second job, it sounds like he can afford a babysitter if he wants to ditch the family all the time. I can see needing you around for work related time, but to play basketball? Your freetime is just as valid.
I'm in no way picking on you. I just want you to see that you're just as important as he is. Stand up for yourself. And think about popping that basketball...

[sahmsfreeb]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it just ate my PERFECT REPLY
ggggggrrrrrrrrrrr
ok again..


either go shooot hoops with him

or get a palm pilot.. enter everything about your schedule.....EVERYTHING! .. be sure to put in basketball WITH hubby in... then print him out or email a weekly copy to him.
then tell him that he can pencil in his request per pending your approval...

BTW im a sahm too... and until i joined the PTA and am never home and put in 40 hours helping out at school doing projects etc... dh seems to respect me now... CAUSE HES GOT TO DO HIS HALF OF THE FREAKIN HOUSEWORK!
SAHMS UNITED!!! WHOOOOOHHAAAAA

[amysusi]

Oh, the man is racking up his I.O.U.'s to me. I plan on going to girls camp this summer (something he can use his precious P.T.O.'s on), and in August is my 10 year reunion, and I'm going alone!! No kids, just a relaxing weekend with my parents. My vacation I've been nagging him about for a couple years now. And with this commission he'll be getting from this house, it will pay for my trip. He owes me big time. (and i don't think he'll be doing basketball for awhile, he hurt his shoulder again.)

[amysusi]

Originally posted by sahmsfreeb
dh seems to respect me now... CAUSE HES GOT TO DO HIS HALF OF THE FREAKIN HOUSEWORK!
SAHMS UNITED!!! WHOOOOOHHAAAAA

LOL

You should see the size of the calendar we have, and I write BIG so he won't miss it. But, he still does, so I nag him.

He's not as bad as I made him out to be, I was hurt. He's usually pretty good about letting me go out. When he was working over the road, he would practically kick me out when he was home because he wanted me to have that time. But now I'm involved in a few more things, and it's the last minute crap that's getting to me. I totally don't want to play b-ball with him. 1) he plays with a bunch of guys from church (you know how guys can be), and 2) he grew up in a very competitive house, the man will not lose. And likes to rub it in.

We're going to talk about it when he gets home.

[cch]

Originally posted by amysusi
Because DH works, and I'm the SAHM, my schedule revolves around his. But it really bites that he always makes last minute plans, and who gets the kick in the rear? Me. Last Saturday I gave up choir practice (and our last one at that) so he could show houses to someone (he does Real Estate on the side). Then we both had a meeting at church, but I stayed home so someone could run the office(office is open 9-5). He's always bugging me to be home early on Wednesdays (youth night at church- I'm a leader)so he can go play basketball early (wants to be there before everyone else). Now, my friend has invited me to go with her to a Mary Kay glamour workshop this Saturday. DH says he might have to show houses. I told him not to wait until last minute to let me know. He says because he doesn't have a realtor's key, he has to borrow from other agents, and it's hard to get. Auuuughhh, get your own d*** key!! I have a life, stop trying to take it away. You always have time for others, but not your wife. It just sucks. I'm so hurt and so mad right now. Thanks for bearing with me on my second vent of today.

I'm sorry, & please don't flame me for it, but what does this have to do with being a SAHM? Seems like you're unhappy with hubby, not the kids.

Stand up for yourself, if you have plans before his, make him rearrange his schedule, not yours.

[momfromTN]

Correct me if I am wrong, but telling us she is a SAHM, has nothing to do with her kids, she was explaining that fact so we would understand her situation more.

[AngelGrim]

Originally posted by momfromTN
Correct me if I am wrong, but telling us she is a SAHM, has nothing to do with her kids, she was explaining that fact so we would understand her situation more.

I agree!
And I think she should make it clear to him that she has things going on that may not be important to him but sure as heck are to her!!

[Kyla Kym]

Guess I'm old fashion, I do what my husband tells me to do!




NOT! LOL


Really what I meant to say is I take into consideration that he is already working a full time job and is making sacrifices for me so I can be a sahm, so it doesn't kill me to give up some of the things I enjoy to work our other job. Hubby built a salvage good store that has turned into a full time business. I hate working up there but I do it because he works hard. I'm just happy that I don't have to work a 9 to 5 job like I use to.

Only thing I can say is put yourself in his shoes, and do what you consider is fair if you were in his situation.

[momfromTN]

I am a work at home mom, and I STILL take care of everything like most SAHMs I know. Highly unfair too. I think the OP needs to tell the hubby that she deserves time to do what she wants too, and if he doesn't like it, too bad. She is a wife and mom, not a slave. There have been days that my DH comes home and I leave for a couple of hours. I just up and do it. I also took off for a few hours a couple of Saturdays ago and took myself to see "Mona Lisa Smile". DH didn't like it, but too bad. Of course, all he did was sit on the couch and made a mess, but that few hours was worth it. I plan to have an ENTIRE Saturday adventure soon. I am gonna go to the local beauty college and have my hair done, and go look at the used book store and maybe drive out to the beach. Anything I want.

Sacrifice to help your husband? Sure, but it goes both ways. Not bringing in a paycheck does not mean you are not valuable.

[JWWB2000]

JMO but when you have your talk with him just let him know how much the extra things you like or want to do are very important to you. Sometimes men just don't realize why us women do what we do until we shed some light on it for them. Hope that helps!