Hubby left me for my best friend

**great deal** · 12-08-2003, 08:21 PM

My husband of 12 years left me for my best friend and know wants me to be his best friend but not wife of course.He has been seeing her for about 6 months now and left me and filed for divorce the next day. Now he treats me great! We do have 3 children together and he sees them all the time. At least one good thing came out of this mess!
So should I treat him super nice and be his friend even though he is still seeing my (ex) best friend and we are not even divorced yet? I really still love him so this is very hard on me. I still have hope even after we are divorced he may come home. Fat chance huh! Please let me know what to do? It is hard being so nice to him when I'm trying to let go of him.

**Advertisement** · 12-08-2003 08:21 PM

**MamaFairal** · 12-08-2003, 08:33 PM

for your best friend??? I wouldnt be nice to either one
Ouch!

{{Great deal}}

**zitra** · 12-08-2003, 08:36 PM

I would be civil for the kids, but it would stop there.

**LuvBigRip** · 12-08-2003, 08:37 PM

My advice would be to be cordial for the kids sake, but as for being best friends, why would you want to put your emotions in that kind of turmoil? I know if it were me, I would tell him that he has a best friend, your now ex best friend. If you can, seek some kind of support group, when this all finally hits you and knocks you out of the shock faze, you are going to be very very angry; and rightfully so. Women who take up with married men, especially when they KNOW the man is married are the lowest life forms in my opinion. Not only do they have little respect for the wife, but themselves too. I am really sorry that you are going throught this. I have been in your situation, and I know the pain you feel now, and the pain you will feel in the future. Now is the time to take care of your emotional needs, as well as your kids. Good luck, I wish you the best!

**YYounghouse** · 12-08-2003, 09:04 PM

this is going to be unpopular advice
but
as long as you are his wife.
and YOU ARE
if you love him
fight for him.

**judyindaskyz** · 12-08-2003, 10:29 PM

I agree with YYounghouse to a certain extent. But it takes 2 to make a marriage work. If he isn't interested in helping to make it work, it might be a losing battle. Been there done that. I finally saw the light and realized I was fighting a losing battle.

**mesue** · 12-08-2003, 10:52 PM

Well if you want to get him back, I'm not sure since he cheated on you he is worth the trouble, start dating someone else, men never apreciate what they have until someone else wants it. Continue being civil for the children's sake whatever happens. Personally I wouldn't take this advice but like I said nothing sparks an ex interest like seeing someone else interested. Good Luck!

**Kyla Kym** · 12-08-2003, 11:02 PM

Your allot better person than I am, because I wouldn't even be considering being nice to him....I would be the type that would offer him tea then piss in his cup before I brought it to him.

The only time I would be nice to him would be when she is around. I would be the sweetest little thing all flirty & smiles. I would do my best to piss her off enough that she would take it out on him.

But that's just me, there is no way I could be civil to anyone that chit on me like that. There are other men out there that won't treat you that way.

**Judy** · 12-08-2003, 11:10 PM

Having never been through this myself I really can't say what I would do. I think it would be so hard to keep acting like a good friend while my heart would be breaking. As far as that ex friend of yours. What goes around comes around. I have a feeling she won't be in the picture very long. Try to keep busy and meet some new people.
So sorry sweetie. I hope you can gain strength and move on to better things. You deserve so much more than what either of them can give you.

**minxie** · 12-09-2003, 12:01 AM

All I can say is get your kids and you some good therapy. If she was you best friend, then they have to be very confused. Be there for your kids and for yourself. What's the saying....With friends like these, who needs enemies???? I would move on. He is not worth your time and energy. If he would do this with your best friend, what would he do with a stranger? I am not trying to be mean, JMO.

**Quaker_Parrots** · 12-09-2003, 04:11 AM

If he wants to be your best friend, sounds like he is trying to keep you on a string, just in case it doesn't work out with your ex best friend. I say No way no how.

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