What is so difficult about telling your child no?

**1busymomma** · 04-25-2003, 08:16 PM

O.k. I just got off the phone with dbf. He pampers, caters and never tells his kids no, though he sure does not have a problem telling mine no. I don't have a problem telling his kids no either btw.

I told him to let me know where dbf's kids fell asleep at tonight (so I don't trip on them after work). He says I'll let you know when they go down. Then I replied please make sure my kids beds are free and clear aka meaning make sure the top bunk is clear (it's my son's bed and his dot slept there last night). He got all ticked at me and told me there are 4 beds you know. I said yes I know that but the top bunk is my son's bed no one elses and I would appreciate it if it was free and clear.

He is like I don't see what the big deal is. I was like it is tough enough for my children to move etc and then have to sit there and fight for there stuff is not cool. He was like well it's my sons room and I was like well I pay half the mortgage so no, it's there room.

Now don't get me wrong, when my kids are not around the top bunk is free and clear for their use I don't make an issue of it. but get real!!!! I am tired of having to fight for the flipping top bunk because you refuse to tell your child NO!!!! I am just getting tired of when his kids are around they come first no matter what. It pisses me off. They scream they want the top bunk and funny they get it. I've had it.

**Advertisement** · 04-25-2003 08:16 PM

**momfromTN** · 04-25-2003, 08:36 PM

I feel for all of you. Please do not take this the wrong way, as it is your life and you are the person who has to decide. But, I would be rethinking if this is such a great idea. I mean, you all are at each other's throats now, imagine if you married? Perhaps a separation and having your own places is in order. Of course I am not telling you what to do, only making suggestions. But you are not happy, he is not happy and his and your kids are not happy. Good luck.

***ahippiechic*** · 04-25-2003, 08:51 PM

Originally posted by momfromTN
I feel for all of you. Please do not take this the wrong way, as it is your life and you are the person who has to decide. But, I would be rethinking if this is such a great idea. I mean, you all are at each other's throats now, imagine if you married? Perhaps a separation and having your own places is in order. Of course I am not telling you what to do, only making suggestions. But you are not happy, he is not happy and his and your kids are not happy. Good luck.

That's what I was going to say. Maybe seperate place until you guys can get things working better? It isn't fair to you guys or the kids this way. A child shouldn't have to fight to sleep in his own bed.

**momfromTN** · 04-25-2003, 09:01 PM

OMG! HIPPIE! WE AGREE!!!! YAAY!!!

***ahippiechic*** · 04-25-2003, 09:10 PM

Originally posted by momfromTN
OMG! HIPPIE! WE AGREE!!!! YAAY!!!

LMAO! YAAY!

**1busymomma** · 04-25-2003, 09:23 PM

You guys are funny.

I don't mean to be a baby about it. DBF was already upset cause his dad yelled at him when DBF was trying to help him save 400.00. Therefore when I mentioned to let me know where the kids would be he got upset which made me mad. He called back after I posted and apologized, he knows better than to push me in that area. I don't know maybe I blew the whole thing out of proportion. If I tell them no, they generally respect me and my kids. There is just SO much adjusting to do it's hard and I've only been living there a month. I just get tired of being the one to say no.

We had a long chat about adjustments how we are all being affected by it. Long story short-we are just taking it one day and one moment at a time and at that particular moment i was going nuts!

It's really not that I am unhappy with him persay or even the kids. But with the ex playing games, my ex has a rat infested home and now my parents refuse to speak to me...I'm a little stressed out. So every little thing sets me off.

Thanks for letting me be a whiny sniveling lil' witch. I appreciate it.

***ahippiechic*** · 04-25-2003, 09:37 PM

Originally posted by 1busymomma
You guys are funny.

Thanks for letting me be a whiny sniveling lil' witch. I appreciate it.

I didn't know you were a witch!

Sounds like it's going to take a lot of work, & a lot of adjusting (from everyone) to make a go of things. Taking it one day at a time is the best way, and everyone has days when everything sets them off. Try not to let it get you down too much & I wish you the best.

**Bohemut** · 04-25-2003, 10:36 PM

So the rat infestation is still going on?

Are your kids back with you now? If so, did CPS say you don't have to send them to their dad's while there are still rats? I know that I would do anything to keep those kids away from those rats. Yuck.

I'm sorry things aren't going smoothly. It was a big change for you and your kids when you moved in with dbf. It was hard when my DH first moved in with me and DD. Things were tense for a few months. But eventually everyone settled down/in. That should happen for you.

**morris2b** · 04-26-2003, 06:34 AM

I know that is a tough situation to be in, we are living in a 2 bedroom for the being and we had to build another room on to have that, so we gave the room to my 12 yr DD,when hubbies son comes up he always wants to sleep in her bed, we tell him that is up to her, she usually lets him and her little brother sleep on the floor in her room, but by morning this child winds up in her bed........lol

But we did get lucky in our mixed relationship as all the kids act like blood brother and sister, and have their casusal spats but everything here is normal

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