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  1. #1

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    My son is going to be the death of me...

    My son comes home from school today and tells me that he and his friend were pushing another friend on the swings today and that child fell and got hurt. Then, he proceeds to tell me that because of this he and his friends are banned from playing on the sawdust area (ie where all the equipment is ) for the rest of the year. This means they will spend the rest of the year playing on the blacktop where there is no playground equipment. I asked him to tell me exactly what happened. He repeated that he and his friend were pushing another friend on the swings and the one friend fell. So, I asked him if they sent him to the office and he said no. I asked if he went to Big Time Out and he said no. He said the duty just banned them from the sawdust. I asked him if he explained to her it was an accident and he said no she just told them they were banned. I asked him if she saw what happened and he said no. Well I asked him repeatedly to repeat what happened so I didn't go off half cocked and go off on everyone at the school (I hate this school-- read my other vent). Anyway, after he tells me the same story about 10 times I figure I have all the facts.

    SO, I call the school and lo and behold the principal is actually there (she had just gotten there). I explain to her that I am angry and then tell her why I am angry. She then tells me that I can meet with the teacher who covers for her tomorrow since she (the principal) is out for the rest of the week. Then, she tells me that the playground duty told her the boys were playing on the bars (they are just these old rusted bars sticking up out of the ground kind of like the ones you do chin ups on) not the swings. And that they had been in trouble all year for messing around on the playground. OK, school starts in September it is almost March. If my son has been getting into trouble why is this the first I heard about it? The principal says it isn't school policy to call parents when students get warnings or in trouble (unless it is a big offense). WTH! How can I correct behaviour I don't know about????

    But, what makes me really mad is now my son is changing his story. The little (insert your own description here) has lied to me and I am so mad I can't see straight. He is almost 11 years old, he knows better. I am going to let DH deal with him or I am going to hurt him. (Not really hurt him, you know what I mean).

    But, I am also mad at the school. If my kids screw up I want to know about it. I am their mother it is my job to correct their behaviour.

    Am I being unreasonable? When I was little and you got in trouble at school, they called your parents and then you got into trouble at home.

    I am sorry for venting again. I have got to get my kids out of this school district before it kills me. I am so tempted just to go ahead and sue them to make them pay for my kids to go elsewhere for that little PTA telling people I was a lesbian incident and get it over with.

    I know I sound irrational and I am sorry. I am just fed up and don't know what to do.

    Thanks for listening.

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  3. #2
    mrs.john
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    Oh, I can't tell you how many times I have called the school over one of my SS's stories and looked like a fool. And I hate it when it's an ongoing thing and we don't seem to hear anything until conference time or discipline papers come in the mail (they finally stopped sending them home with him. Duh.)

    Hope you can get it all straightened out soon. {{{miccit}}}

  4. #3

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    I can understand your fustration

    I hope things get better for you

    hang in there please

  5. #4

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    It is so embarassing to call someone and get angry about something that isn't even the truth. My son knows better. He has never lied to me about anything like this before. I told him that lying would make it so I wouldn't be able to trust him anymore and he acts like he doesn't even care. I just don't get that at all.


    And get this he just informs that he was nominated for student of the month. WTH! I am confused. If he has been in trouble, how can he be student of the month. I thought that was based on behaviour.

  6. #5
    mrs.john
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    Originally posted by miccit
    And get this he just informs that he was nominated for student of the month. WTH! I am confused. If he has been in trouble, how can he be student of the month. I thought that was based on behaviour.
    Ha! Same thing here. My SS got suspended for sexual harrassment and got student of the month the next month. The school wanted to "encourage good behavior"

    He'll care that you don't trust him as time goes on. We have a hard time believing my SS a lot. Every time we do, we find out he's lying. So when he's telling the truth, a lot of times we don't believe him--which really makes him mad. Lying comes back to bite you. Hope you can nip it in the bud.

  7. #6

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    My son thinks the world revolves around him. He suffers from depression and anxiety disorder. They are getting ready to test him for a form of autism. He gets really violent at home (never at school) sometimes. The doctors told him the next time he ends up in the psych hospital for acting out he is going into a foster home for kids with behavioural problems. He doesn't care though. He doesn't think they will really do it. And of course, his behaviour effects his sister's behaviour. I am at a loss. And I am grossly outnumbered by kids!!

    Sounds like your SS and my son have a lot in common Mrs. John. DH is so mad at him right now I almost feel sorry for him when his dad gets home.

  8. #7
    mrs.john
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    I never thought a child in a good environment could act like this, until I lived it. I totally understand your frustration. My SS somehow got out of serving time in the detention center (our county is horrible), so he thinks that he is above punishment and he can do what he wants and not have to go there. Course, his mother is the same way (that's why we have him) but we won't go there.

    It does effect the other kids, as well as a marriage. Some days I just want to walk out the front door and just keep going, lol. He went with his mom (long story) for a year and I could not believe the change in my 7 y/o. It was the calmest year we've had since we've been married. Now that I've had a taste of that, it's extra hard now.

    Hopefully your husband can keep his cool. The last thing you guys need is him trying to say you abuse him. (been there, done that)

  9. #8

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    DH doesn't spank unless he has tried everything else. He makes him do pushups. By the time the kid is 18 he is going to have arms like Schwarzeneger (sp).

  10. #9
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    Are you CERTAIN hes lying? I only ask because sometimes adults make mistakes. I have ended up fighting for my son because he had to spend a day in ALC for something he didnt do. The evidence pointed towards him doing it, but he didnt. He was with a group of kids in the bathroom and the other kids tried to pull a loose sink off the wall. It started to fall and Nick was trying to hold it up. The other boys left and NIck was there holding the sink up. When the teacher came looking for him, all she saw was him holding a loose sink, she assumed he had torn it loose. After I found out, I had a MAJOR fit and they finally talked to the boys who DID tear it off. Nick got an apology out of it and the ALC stay was taken off his record.

    Im not saying hes lying nad Im not sayinghes not, but sometimes you have to believe the child over the adult. Especially with as much trouble as youve had with the school.

  11. #10

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    cpbaby-- I confronted him and he said oh I forgot we weren't on the swings we were somewhere else. Finally got him to tell me what I hope is the truth. He always says oh I forgot when he gets busted lying. He is so lucky I am not my mom-- or it would be dish soap in the mouth!

  12. #11
    cpbaby's Avatar
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    Yeah, I understand. I always know when mine are lying too. I just had to ask though.


    {{{{{miccit}}}}}

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