Sick of paying ALL the costs for raising our son!

[DezaRay24]

Okay I just have to vent to someone anyone!

I'm just fed up with my son's dad thinking that because I have custody of our son that, it makes me responsible to pay for everything and he will just pitch in as he feels like it! Which is never!

Yesterday was the last straw! I have paid over $450 for my son’s school clothes, shoes, supplies, registration, shots & fall baseball by myself on my own with my single parent income!! Any time I say anything to him about paying any of this he thinks I’m snapping at him and he hangs up on me. He told me today that he will be going in to debt just to pay for the school registration fees. Ummm, hello and you don’t think I’m not going in to debt too!! He flat out refused to pay for his baseball and hasn’t ever offered to pay for school clothes and hasn’t since kindergarten. He even had issues pay 1/2 the daycare costs when our son went. I used to have to pay the full amount and then fight with him to get it back since I didn't want to loose our sitter.

I get $200 child support from him and because its not thru the ORS/State he can cut that off at any time or any time he feels like he don’t want to pay for it. If I go back thru ORS/State then I only get $29.00 a month Ya, you read that right $29.00 bucks!!! In his words is being Nice that he gives me more that is on our divorce papers. At one point they even had to garnish his wages because he wasn’t even paying the $29.00. Wonderful to get checks for $4.29 a month after fees...I would have to take him back to court and I can’t afford the lawyer or the fees right now.

He is on his 3rd marriage and this one came with a 4yr old daughter (& a 12yr old son she lost custody to & now lives with her parents). They also just bought a house and get this he got a 2 bedroom house so that means the 4yr old gets her own room and my son gets the sofa! I think he should have got a 3 bedroom house that way my son and her son when he does visit her could share a bedroom and just have separate sides to decorate. (At least that would have been the smart choice)

The 4yr old gets what she wants when she wants it and since they are married that is both of there money paying for her. Her daughter got an Easter basket my son didn’t get anything he didn’t even call him on Easter to wish him a Happy Easter he sent him a text about 9:00PM that night!

I can’t wait till I can get some extra cash to take his butt back to court. I was gonna play nice and only go for a increase in support going forward but I’m ready to fight for the difference in back pay too!


Okay that was my Vent & I feel somewhat better now LOL

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[dinosmom]

Vent away!!!! I am in the same boat! My ex has not paid one dime!

[ElleGee]

My ex hasn't paid any support since the second of Feb. And that was only 20 bucks..You don't need a lawyer to take him back to court. However it does cost to file and have him served. And it takes some time to get a court date. I don't remember how much that was here to do that. It was quite a few years ago. The paperwork is not as difficult as I thought it would be.. All I had to do is fill out an income/expense sheet and they compare it to his income/expenses...


some exes are just jerks

[gmyers]

Ya'll ll have a right to vent. There are way too many deadbeat parents out there. I hope ya'll win and get more money. It's ridiculous what ya'll are getting. I don't know why some parents divorce their kids too. And do nothing for them after that.

[dangerousfem]

sorry you have to go thru this..

can you have the dept of child support handle it? They will collect it for you.. send it to you.. no fee's (at least in my state).. also they will do a yearly review.. and if court is needed they provide the lawyer..

I have always used them since my divorce years ago.. they were great.. with out them I would have never gotten a thing from my deadbeat ex.. even now.. my son is 20.. they are still collecting the arrears for me..

I looked it up for your state.. they will do a review for you.. so you can get more $

http://www.ors.utah.gov/faq_mod_esc.htm

[nightrider127]

These kinds of post just make me roaring mad. How dare these deadbeat parents not care enough about their kids to help support them. That goes for a so called dad or so called mom.

OMG, I would be in jail for contempt of court because had my marriage fell apart and hubby would not pay, I would have with held visitation. That's not the right thing to do and I know it but I would have done it anyway.


I hope you ladies take these jerks back to court and get all of what you need.

The nightrider goes stomping out of the room muttering about deadbeat parents.

[DezaRay24]

sorry you have to go thru this..

can you have the dept of child support handle it? They will collect it for you.. send it to you.. no fee's (at least in my state).. also they will do a yearly review.. and if court is needed they provide the lawyer..

I have always used them since my divorce years ago.. they were great.. with out them I would have never gotten a thing from my deadbeat ex.. even now.. my son is 20.. they are still collecting the arrears for me..

I looked it up for your state.. they will do a review for you.. so you can get more $

http://www.ors.utah.gov/faq_mod_esc.htm

Sadly, Utah's dept of child support can't help because we have a divorce decree & the decree takes over the states help so I have to go back to court. The state played that fill out this paper game with me for 3 years before we figure that out.

[dangerousfem]

ahh i'm sorry...sounds like you had a crappy worker....

I don't understand that.. because their site says if you have a divorce decree and its over 3 yrs old they will help you get an review.. but they have to be handling your case first

do you think it would help taking to a different worker? I know the first one I had was crappy.. was suppose to run ex's ss number every month to look for income.. never did.. I finally got a worker who does her job great...

I wish you the best...

[Jenefer3]

Aww I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

I know how you feel though. My 13 year old daughter's dad never pays anything. I think over the years he's paid a whopping $200 and that was only cuz they garnished it. He just bought a house, drives a nice new car, has plenty of money to do everything BUT pay child support. He never calls for holidays or her birthday, never has any part of her life. He'll see her uptown and give her his cell phone number but then if she calls it, he'll talk to her for 5 minutes and then next time she tries to call, it's been disconnected. He lives just a few streets from us now and tells her that if she's ever in the neighborhood that she can just swing by. Child support office does nothing for us, just keeps issuing more and more warrants and tells me that if I see him in Clark County (we live in Cowlitz) to notify the sheriff. They'll suspend his license but he calls them up and says "oh I'll pay on this day if you reinstate it" so they do but he never pays. UGH HE"S SUCH A LOSER!

I hate all deadbeat parents...I don't care what issues there are between the parents or what's going on in their new lives, if they create a child they should help support the child!

[ssgjeg]

I may have a lot of issues with my step dad but I will say this he always paid his child support. I can't believe what you guys get in support. Back in the 1970's and 1980's he paid $350 a month in support for 2 kids. He got behind until he met my mom. She helped him find out where they were living, get his support caught up, and get visitation. After that the only time he missed was when he was out of work and even then he sent something in, if not the full payment. And my mom always called the office first to let them know they weren't getting the full payment.

I'm sorry some of you guys have to deal with these losers. I hope things get better for you before your children find out about their parent and what they really mean to them.

[YankeeMary]

I feel for you really I do. And to make you feel a little bit better about your situation and child support amount, I will share with you what I get. Now remember, I have 2 sons. I get.................almost $24.00 a week for them both...LOL. Crazy eh??? And he had trouble paying that...haha. See I told you, you would feel a bit better. He always has been and always will be a totally worthless father. It really hard not saying bad things about him to the boys. Now that my oldest is older, he has seen the light and knows that his dad is worthless. My youngest just said the other day that he "thinks" his dad has his priorities messed up...yah think? LOL. I imagine he will see his dad's true color the older he is, and I don't even have to say anything about him. Kids eventually see it and then are angry that their father (or mother, depending on the case) didn't support them emotionally or financially. I hope you get things worked out. HUGS!!!