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  1. #23
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    GROW ANTENNAE

    A story, which may be relegated to the files of "urban legends," tells about a Philadelphia legal firm that sent flowers to an associate in Baltimore upon the opening of its new offices. Through some mix-up, the ribbon that bedecked the floral piece read, "Deepest Sympathy."

    When the florist was duly informed of her mistake, she let out a cry of alarm. "Good grief! Then the flowers that went to the funeral said, 'Congratulations On Your New Location!'"

    It is difficult enough to offer comfort without mixing up the sentiment! So difficult, in fact, that many people simply don't know what to say to someone who has just unburdened grief or emotional pain. Not unlike the new clergyman who, when a distressed young woman confided that she was pregnant, blurted out, "Are you sure it's yours?"

    Too often, we want to help, but find that our attempts to offer comfort, solace or hope fall short of the mark. But there is something we can say that can be helpful.

    One man, whose grandson died accidentally, found genuine comfort when he shared his pain with friends shortly after the tragedy. Of all the well-meaning words of support, two statements helped to sustain and comfort him through the grief more than the rest. They were: "Thank you for sharing your pain," and "I grieve with you." After hearing those words, he no longer felt alone in his suffering. He felt as if his friends embraced his grief. He felt better.

    We can't fix it. We shouldn't try to offer advice. And we may never know how someone feels who is hurting in a way we have never experienced. But we can give some comfort.

    I think James Angell, former president of the University of Michigan, got it right when he was asked the secret of his success. "The secret of success?" he replied. "Grow antennae, not horns."



    __________



    This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : PRESCRIPTION FOR PEACE :[/i] 60-second readings to help you build a better life.[/i]
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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  3. #24
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    HOW IS YOUR PRACTICING COMING ALONG?

    "I grew up with six brothers," says comedian Bob Hope. "That's how I learned to dance, waiting to get into the bathroom."

    Patience may not come easily for you. But whether or not you share a bathroom with others, you can get plenty of practice. We're presented daily with amply opportunity to learn patience.

    How is your practicing coming along?

    When we lived in the city I grew impatient with the bumper-to-bumper traffic. I decided to keep a harmonica in the glove compartment, along with a beginner's book. When traffic was held up, I took out my harmonica and played. I figured I could either practice patience or practice the harmonica. The harmonica seemed like more fun. My patience still needs practice, but I do know how to play the harmonica!

    Benjamin Franklin learned that persistence and patience were crucial to the success of his scientific experiments. He once said, "Genius is nothing but a greater aptitude for patience." So he practiced patience.

    How's your practice coming along? You can be a genius...just be patient!


    __________



    P.S. -- If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

    -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery





    P.S. "Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."
    -- Lord Byron
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    LIFE SPARKLES

    "Nobody, as long as he moves among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble," said psychologist Carl Jung.



    I received a letter from a woman who responded to something that I wrote. Listen to her unusual response to trouble:

    "Your excerpt from your book *Touching Moments* really spoke to me. I have discovered the gift that can come from adversity. In January my husband, who is in his 50's, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. My whole world was turned upside down and I was devastated. It was a relief to know finally what was wrong with him, but also I am all too well aware of the grim reality of the hideous effects of such a disease.

    "Sometimes it is really frustrating as well as heartbreaking to see the way he struggles to communicate and express himself. In addition seeing him standing in front of his closet, not sure why he is there but knowing there was something he needed to get out of it, tears me apart.

    "However, this disease has brought us closer together. I find myself cherishing moments with him which I might never have given a second thought to. I find myself letting the dishes wait if he suggests that we take a bath together or go swing outside in our garden swing. He looks at the world with new eyes, and scenes I might never have noticed he points out to me. It may be the way that the light plays on the fountain or a delicate spider web glistening in the sun.

    "I am learning to live in the moment and to be aware of all the beauty and wonder that surrounds us in this world. My husband's illness, as insidious as it is, is molding me into a better person, a more tolerant and patient person, and full of gratitude for each moment we spend together.

    "Trouble will come, there is no escaping it, but trouble can richly bless us. We may find our life changing direction and seeing possibilities we may have missed if trouble had not brought its gift to us."

    A woman I know was diagnosed with cancer and has struggled through surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She was recently asked how she is doing. Her response was, "Life sparkles." Isn't that wonderful? "Life sparkles!"

    She went on to explain that ever since the disease she has appreciated life more fully. Now she sees a sunrise or the way the sunlight reflects on new-fallen snow as if she were looking at it for the first time…or the last time. The world is awash in beauty in ways she has never before noticed. Kindnesses done for her by friends mean more. Life sparkles!

    Nobody can live without trouble. But for those with eyes to see... life sparkles.



    By Steve Goodier © 2004
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    LET THE PAST BE PAST

    Is it difficult for you to forgive?

    To let the past be past?

    It is for me. Nearly impossible sometimes. I'm a little like the elderly Virginian woman who lived to see her beloved Richmond occupied by Union troops after the American Civil War. The matron was walking down a Richmond street when she tripped over a step and fell. A Union soldier courteously helped her up.

    "How very kind of you, young man," she said acidly. "If there is a cool spot in hell, I hope you get it."


    Maybe it was still a bit early for her to let go of those deep-seated resentments. But angry and bitter lives are never happy lives.

    A beautiful legend tells of an African tribe that ritualizes forgiveness. When a tribe member acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he/she is taken to the center of the village. All work ceases and every man, woman and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused. Then the tribe bombards the rejected person with affirmations! One at a time, friends and family enumerate all the good the individual has done. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with some detail and accuracy is recounted. All their positive attributes, strengths and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length. Finally, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the outcast is welcomed back into the tribe.


    What a beautiful ritual of restoration!

    They replace hurt with happiness; pain with peace. Once again they are family. The rejected one is restored and the village is made whole.

    Paul Boese has said, "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." As brothers and sisters in our global village, is letting go of those resentments really an option?


    __________





    This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : PRESCRIPTION FOR PEACE : 60-second readings to help you build a better life.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    RIGHT OR WELL?

    I heard a funny story about a cowboy who ambled into the local blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped the hot shoe, shoved his seared hand into his pocket and tried to act nonchalant.

    The blacksmith half smiled and asked, "Kinda hot, wasn't it?"

    "Nope," replied the cowboy, "just don't take me long to look at a horseshoe, that's all."

    I chuckle at the story because it illustrates the widespread truth that most of us have difficulty admitting mistakes. But even more compelling is our almost universal urge to be right.

    I learned of one particular minister who left his pulpit to go to medical school and become a doctor. An old friend saw him several years later and expressed surprise at his career change, but said he assumed it had been because he could care for
    people in a more concrete way now that he was practicing medicine.

    "Not at all," the doctor responded honestly, "the reasons were purely economic. I discovered that people will pay more money to care for their bodies than for their souls."

    Several years lapsed before the friend saw him again and discovered that he had left medicine for law. "What was your reason this time?" the friend asked.

    "Simple economics again," replied the ex-minister, ex-doctor attorney. "I learned that people will pay more to prove they are right than to care for either body or soul."

    This man discovered something peculiar about human nature. People want to be RIGHT. In conflict, most folks want to come out on top. When they are wronged, they want justice. If no justice is forthcoming, they lament about the unfairness of it all and brood in righteous indignation. Many people will go to great lengths to prove they are right -- and at tremendous cost, not only financially, but in other ways.

    Being the "injured party" exacts a high toll on physical and emotional health. Some people pay dearly to be right. They stew about the injustice and it eats away their stomachs in ulcers. While they wait for an apology or to be vindicated, they grow resentful and bitter. They obsess on the cause of their pain and allow it to rob them of one of their most valuable assets -- their happiness. In the end, some people discover they paid far too high a price to be right.

    The only solution, of course, is to let it go. For it often comes down to one simple and poignant question: Do You Want To Be Right Or Well? Truth is, too often you can't be both. But when you let go of being right, you can get on with healing. Let go of being right and you can finally live fully and happily in the present.

    Do you want to be right or well?

    That may just be one of the most important questions you ever answer.



    © 2001 Steve Goodier
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    WHEN SUFFERING VISITS


    I recall sitting with a woman a few years ago whose only son had unexpectedly died. I had sat in the same place a couple of years before when her husband had passed away. Of course, the loss of her son was opening the wound, not yet fully healed, caused by her husband's death.

    With tear-filled eyes and pursed lips she lamented, "Oh, how terrible life can be! Isn't this world a terrible place?"

    What could I say? On the one hand, I be_lieve that the world can be a wonderful and en_chant_ing place. There are times of fun and joy and happiness. I even believe life can be an exciting ad_venture!

    On the other hand, for her right then, the world was indeed a terrible place. All of her family was gone. She faced the prospect of countless days filled with heartache and endless nights of loneliness. Such grief cannot be dismissed with a quick, "Oh, it will be all right. You'll be fine." Or, "Don't worry, he's in a better place." Regardless of whether these statements are true, to minimize her feelings of loss at that moment would have done her a great disservice. More than anything, she needed some_one to understand her pain and confusion.

    "It's a difficult world to live in," I finally said, taking her hand. "I'm sorry."



    She eventually did get through both losses. It was difficult and took time, but with help from her friends and hope from her faith she was able put her life back together. She was able to laugh and sing again.

    When the world seems like a terrible place, I think it is
    good to remember a few things:

    * Please don't blame yourself for something that may not be your fault. The death of a family member is a good example. There are some things which are beyond your control.

    * Remember that you will get through it, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. One widowed woman remarked to me six months after her spouse's death, "I used to have more bad days than good days. Now I have more good days!" She was moving through her loss.

    * Remember that you are not isolated. Please reach out to others when you hurt. And draw upon your spiritual resources. You are not alone.



    This world can be fun and challenging, filled with laughter and happiness! But when suffer_ing visits, remembering these things can help ease the hurt.



    __________




    [size]This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book: JOY ALONG THE WAY : 60-second readings that make the trip worthwhile
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    GETTING A BUSY SIGNAL

    Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbor_hood. They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end.

    At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his physical condition, challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race back to their truck.

    As they approached the truck, they realized that the woman was huffing and puffing right be_hind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I saw two gas men running as hard as you two were, I fig_ured I'd better run, too!"






    In another way, we spend a great deal of time running, don't we? We are running to catch up at work. We are running to keep up at home. We speak of "running" errands. We "rush" off, we drive in the "fast" lane, we stop at the "Quick" mart, we buy "fast" food, we use the "express" lane, and we "hurry" back so we can "race" through our meal. Too often our lives are lived in fast forward. No wonder we "run down"!

    One telecommunications company execu_tive went to see his doctor. She listened to her pa_tient's heart, shook her head and said, "All I get is a busy signal."

    An important part of reducing harmful stress is to simply slow down.

    Take a walk.

    Spend some time alone.

    Be still.

    Listen to your soul.



    Surpris_ingly, you may find you have more energy left for the im_portant work. In time, you may wonder why you ever rushed at all.

    __________



    This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : JOY ALONG THE WAY : 60-second readings that make the trip worthwhile
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  9. #30
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    AND THEN SOME

    How wonderful it would be if there were a simple formula for success! "Follow these steps and you will be successful in business, as a parent, as a student, in your vocation or in any endeavor you attempt."

    I think of the man who was honored as "Businessperson of the Year." At the presentation dinner, a newspaper reporter asked him, "To what do you owe your great success and prosperity?"

    "Five things contributed to my success," said the man. "First, I always treated people fairly. Sec_ond, I always offered a fair price. Third, I was al_ways honest. Fourth, I was always generous to my employees. And fifth, my Aunt Edna died a few years back and
    left me two and a half million dol_lars."

    Certainly, the top four items on his list are well worth following, though they are no guarantee of success. For a variety of reasons, some of which are outside our control (like Aunt Edna), our lives are filled with successes and failures, all of which contribute
    to our growth. But some of the sagest advice I've heard on the subject of success comes from Professor Richard Weaver, who taught at Bowling Green State University, Ohio. He says that what often sets a successful person apart from oth_ers are three simple words: "and then some."

    Those people who tend to achieve what they want from life do what is expected of them -- and then some.

    They are thoughtful to others; they are considerate and kind -- and then some.

    They meet their obligations and responsibilities fairly -- and then some.

    They are good friends to their friends -- and then some.

    They can be counted on in an emer_gency -- and then some.



    By going beyond the expectations of others, they demonstrate every day their desire to do their best and to be their best. They, too, fail and blunder, but in the end, they can be counted on to pick up the pieces and move forward.

    Those are three words worth remembering. Count on them to help build a quality life -- and then some.


    __________




    [size=1]This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : JOY ALONG THE WAY : 60-second readings that make the trip worthwhile
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    STOOP AND DRINK

    Albert Einstein once arrived in London carrying his violin. After greeting him, an old friend asked, "You still play the violin, Albert?"

    The mathematical genius nodded and said, "Yes, but not very well. My teacher says, 'The trouble with you, Mr. Einstein, is that you can't count.'"




    He knew that he had much to learn if he were to play the violin well. So he approached his endeavor with a sense of humility, even to the point of laughing at his poor rhythm.

    I heard of a hotel that has a water fountain in the lobby that is operated by an infra-red beam of light. When a thirsty person wants a drink, she simply bends down and the water automatically turns on. There is a sign above the water cooler that reads, "Stoop and drink."

    What a marvelous parable for a life attitude. Stoop and drink. Especially when drinking from the fountain of knowledge -- stoop and drink. Like Albert Einstein, wise people know that they can only learn something new AFTER they realize two important points:

    1) They do not yet know it all,

    2) There are others willing to teach.

    It is an attitude of humility ... we stoop in order to drink.


    One man says, "Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it."

    He is not always the teacher. He figuratively stoops before his employees by listening carefully to their ideas so he might drink from their knowledge.

    Everyone we will ever meet knows something better than us -- our children and our parents; the woman who drives the bus and the receptionist who answers the telephone; the man who sweeps the floor and our neighbor next door. Those who realize that all the world has something to teach will never run short of opportunities to stoop and drink.

    And they will always be refreshed.



    __________



    P.S. Another take on "humility":
    "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."
    -- Bob Hope, on receiving the Congressional Gold Medal
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  11. #32
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    VICTIMS AND FIGHTERS


    Gretchen Alexander is sightless. But she refuses to allow her blindness to limit her life activities. She enjoys archery, golf, softball, sailing and water-skiing, as well as a number of other activities that those of us who are sighted have yet to learn.

    She also speaks to groups about living life fully. When speaking to a group of high school students, she was once asked if there was anything she wouldn't try.

    "I've decided to never sky-dive," she answered. "It would scare the heck out of my dog."




    Why do some people rise above their problems and live life fully, while others become defeated? Merle Shain explains it this way: "There are only two ways to approach life, as a victim or as a gallant fighter. And you must decide if you want to act or to react..."

    When discouraged, a victim reacts, perhaps in pain or self-pity.

    But a fighter acts.

    A fighter makes a decision to change that set of circumstances that left her or him discouraged.

    Or a fighter decides to accept those circumstances with grace and move ahead anyway.

    A fighter decides to act with courage.

    A fighter takes responsibility for his or her happiness.

    No matter how afraid, a fighter refuses to give in to the most defeating of all human emotions – helplessness.


    A victim reacts. A fighter acts. It's your decision. It's a decision about whether you will live your life fully and with courage or whether you will be forever defeated by harsh circumstances.

    Make it well, for it may be one of the most important decisions you ever make.

    Will you be a victim or a gallant fighter?



    __________



    This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : A LIFE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE : 60-second readings that truly matter
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #33
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    P.S. Another point of view: "If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." -- Bill Lyon
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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