Need some advice on child custody(long)

**erwinmst** · 08-07-2003, 11:11 PM

My husband and I just found out today that his 2 children from a previous marriage are staying with their great aunt. Their mother has custody of them and we pay her $102/week child support. The thing is, we also found out that she is not staying with the children. They have not seen her in 4 weeks. She got kicked out of her house because she couldn't afford the rent. The kids and the aunt told us that when she got kicked out she didn't have any food in the house for them to eat either. She receives food stamps so I am not sure why she didn't have food

. Anyway, the kids are at our house right now for a couple of days for a visit. All they have been told by the great aunt is that their mother is looking for a job and a house(don't know if that is true or not). Their aunt told us that their mother is having some mental problems(I really don't believe that). I think she is to busy partying(sp?) and blowing the child support we are paying her. She didn't buy them any school clothes, we had to. I don't know what she is doing with the child support, but I know she isn't spending it on them because she isn't even keeping them.
Now my question is, does anyone know if we have any kind of chance at getting custody of them? Isn't what she did considered abandonment? I mean, if she couldn't afford them, shouldn't she have brought them to us? I mean my husband is their father. She should have brought them to us before she left them with another family member. I know their father has more rights to have them than another family member. And just to give some more information, my husband has had his job for 4 years(it is a stable, well paying job), we own the home we are currently living in plus a 3 bedroom mobile home we are fixing up. I am a stay at home mom to my own 3 children(1 is my current husband's and my other 2 are from a previous marriage). Also, we live in oklahoma. Can anyone give me some advice on what we should do? Should we try to get custody or should we just let it pass and let his 2 kids live with their aunt until their mother can figure out what she is going to do? HELP!!!

**Advertisement** · 08-07-2003 11:11 PM

**ladybreaker** · 08-07-2003, 11:37 PM

GET A LAWYER AND BRING THOSE BABIES HOME!!!if you want them,and it sounds like you do,get custody!!it should be pretty easy since she is committing welfare fraud and spending thier money when they live somewhere else.turn her in to welfare!!JMHO

ladybreaker

**iluvmybaby** · 08-08-2003, 12:34 AM

You dont need advice from us you need legal advice from a lawyer, I would be calling him/her FIRST thing in the morning. WELFARE IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE AND EQUALS PRISON TIME, no if ands or butts.

**LitWtch** · 08-08-2003, 05:29 AM

There is always the possibility of taking temporary emergency custody of the children until she can provide them a place to live and eat - but that takes legal manuvering, so you'd need to contact your attorney ASAP.
Personally, I would not let this pass.

mrs.john · 08-08-2003, 05:36 AM

I would contact a lawyer so you can get temporary custody. She should not be receiving the support if she doesn't have the kids. Or at least have the aunt file for emergency custody/guardianship. When my SS's mother had him for a year (long story) she dumped him off on an aunt. The aunt filed for benefits for him (which she shouldn't have, but again, whole other story), that alerted the county and they went after the mother for support too. If she doesn't have the kids, she should be a t least helping financially with them. I just don't understand how some mothers can just walk away. Good luck.

**morris2b** · 08-08-2003, 07:36 AM

I would say to try to get her for abandonment since she has not had any contact with them for 4 weeks, I just went through this this past Nov. with my own children, their father was supposed to pick them up after Thanksgiving break.He never showed up,I had to get an attorney and get an Emergency Exparte, this requires an attorney. Even though the children are staying with the great aunt you and your DH should be able to get her for abandonment. Depending on the ages of the children, the attorney will talk to them as well, and if they are like my kids, they will tell everything that she does, and he will also ask them where they would like to be. Mine even had to talk to the judge by themselves, although it was off record and neither the ex nor I can ever see nor hear what they said.
I say get an attorney and follow his/her advice on what you need to do in order to get these kids in a stable home, and let him know how long the children have been with the great aunt, carry a notebook at all times, keep notes and go back as far as you can remember with the mothers behavior, etc. I have 2 notebooks full.
PS It will look good on you as well,as you are already a stay at home mom and you and your family does not have to worry about a babysitter, etc.. Im a stay at home mom as well..
I have some links to some sites saved where I did some research if you want them email me, email below..

**1busymomma** · 08-08-2003, 09:23 AM

Def. get an attorney. Everyone had excellent advice. My dbf has been in a custody battle with his ex (she's just a pathetic excuse of a parent) for 3 years. I recently got thrown back into a custody war with my ex because he wants to have custody so he can get benefits from the state to aid HIM (not my kids) so that it is easier to pay his bills.

It may be hard but every victory is worth it!!!!!!!!!

**MommyG3** · 08-08-2003, 11:27 AM

I read somewhere on the internet that in Mississippi abandonment is when the children have not had any contact with the parent for one month and something in reference to a year. I agree with everyone; talk to a lawyer. If she has no place to live then that is considered unfit.

**tiffany21** · 08-08-2003, 11:37 AM

call a lawyer and ask about the custody if she has not been around she abonded the kids. keep the kids your custudy till you go to court. if the aunt dosen't have legal custudy of the kids you two keep them

**newage1** · 08-08-2003, 05:50 PM

If the aunt is willing to work with you, she can call you state abuse line and state that the kids have been left with no provisions for support. A DCF ( or whatever the social workers are called in your area) will open a case and can place the children with you while doing the investigation. Homelessness is not a cause to lose custody and abandonment is not really there because she left them with someone while she supposedly tried to secure housing. The issue here is the neglect that the kids suffer while with her. You can go the route of an attorney and hope that they will change custody but you have to really know where the aunt stands. If she is called to the stand stating that she is giving help w/ the mother while she gets on her feet, the judge may not be willing to change custody because they may be able to show that this is a temp thing. One thing to look at is the housing arrangement you have. If the state becomes involved, make sure that you have everything in place to take them immediately. A home study will probably have to be done but the kids can be placed with you while that is happening. Also, notify the state about the welfare fraud. That is not a crime that they are letting just go any longer.

**peaceluver** · 08-08-2003, 06:39 PM

Most lawyer will see you for the first visit for free. Call and check it out. I am sure there is something that you can do. Also are you still paying her child support when the kids are not even there? If so I would ask about that also.

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