the ethics of casting love spells

Before I begin, I want to make sure you understand that the following is my own views on the ethics of doing love spells and may not be the same as the opinions of others.

The standard position among Pagans is that you should never do spells to make a particular person love you.

This is pretty much set in stone. Trying to change the emotions of another is clearly manipulation and should not be attempted. Besides, it's not really love and the relationship will inevitably end badly for both you and your 'victim'. Do not try to delude yourself by thinking he (or she) really loves you, just doesn't realize it or is afraid to act. Even if this scenario is true, that doesn't make it OK for you to force the issue.

But there are variations of love magick that many people (including myself) consider to be acceptable. The best way to perform magick to improve your love life is to stick to rituals or spells that will draw love to you, but that do NOT have any references to particular people. Sort of like creating an astral love beacon. Perhaps make a red charm bag filled with items like rose petals, rose quartz crystal, orris root, and a bit of patchouli oil. Envision the bag as a magnet, drawing a loving relationship towards you, and let nature take its course.

Other ethical uses for love-related magick would be to help heal or improve an existing relationship, as long as you are not trying to specifically force the other person into feeling something that is not there. You should get permission from your other half before doing any spells of this type. Better communication, having more time to spend together, or even a spicier sex life are all possible aspects of a relationship that might need some help.

One more thing to mention. You might also cast a spell inwards rather than outwards: magick to increase your confidence, improve your conversational skills, or even to bring you a bit of extra money so you can afford to go out a bit more.

There are spells, often called 'glamours' that can supposedly change your outward appearance, and make you more physically attractive. I don't know anyone who actually does magick like this, and I personally find the idea a little iffy. Even if such a spell did work, eventually your new love will see the real you, unless you plan on working magick on yourself every day for the duration of the relationship.

Of course, magick can only do so much. If you spend all your free time sitting at home, no spell will be able to help you. Even with a spell working for you, you still need to get out of the house, be social, and get talking to people.


~ Terri Paajanen

I agree with what she says. I wouldn't want to be with someone who loved me only because they were under a spell. lol