What Are My Children's Rights?

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10-12-2007, 07:58 AM
Tadbit

What Are My Children's Rights?

I hardly ever have a rant, but I needed some information and I knew if anyone could help me, the people on here could. My granddaughter, whom I'm raising, was punched in the nose yesterday at school by a boy a year older than her in the lunch room. She did nothing to provoke this except say hi to this kid, which is in no way a reason to be hit. Anyway he gave her a bloody nose. The kid was suspended for 2 days. What I want to know is he is just in the third grade, but can we bring assault charges against him or his family? My husband says yes we can, but I didn't know. The main reason I'm upset is because no one from the school even tried to contact me about this incident when it happened.
This school is over crowded to begin with and there are only 3 people in the lunchroom to supervise these kids and that includes one para, a janitor and one lunch lady. That's not nearly enough people to watch that many kids at a time, especially when most of these kids are problem kids with a lot of issues. Most of the parents of these kids don't get involved with their kid's teachers or care what happens to them at school or at home for that matter.
I just happen to catch this kid's teacher leaving school early for an appointment and I went up to her car to say hi. That's when she asked me if anyone called me. Then she told me what happened, but had I not approached her, I probably wouldn't have known about it until my grandkids told me. When I went inside the school to pick the kids up, the principal was standing in the hall and she never said anything to me about it.
When the kid's grandma came to pick him up, I told her what happened and it was at that time, the principal told her that she had been trying to contact her all day but couldn't reach her. She then took this lady to a policeman who talked to her. This grandma came back to me and said my grandson hit your granddaughter because she was up in his face pointing her finger, which wasn't true, as I later found out. I said well that doesn't give him the right to hit a girl in the nose and she said, (and get this) well women are always fighting for equal rights. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I told her her grandson doesn't have a right to hit anyone at this school, much less a girl!
Well the principal never did talk to me yesterday and when I went home and told my husband, he was livid. I told him I wanted to talk to the principal before I took any other steps and so I did this morning. She told me that this kid had rights because he was a specials need kid and that they had to take certain steps before they could place him in another school or take any other actions besides suspending him. This kids had already kicked another little girl in the head this year. How many chances does he get? Does he have to kill some one before something is done? Anyway, what I was wondering, is what our my granddaughter's rights? Can we press charges for this or take any other measures to prevent something like this from happening again by this boy? By the way, my granddaughter is only in the second grade and this boy is only in the third. We live in Kansas. Does anyone know what the law says about this and what we can do?
Sorry this was so long but I felt it needed to be so you knew the whole situation. Thanks for any help, in advance.
10-12-2007, 08:15 AM
DBackFan

I am no help when it comes to the laws there but I would be one pissed of grandma too...so sorry that happened.
10-12-2007, 08:21 AM
DrGrin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tadbit

I hardly ever have a rant, but I needed some information and I knew if anyone could help me, the people on here could. My granddaughter, whom I'm raising, was punched in the nose yesterday at school by a boy a year older than her in the lunch room. She did nothing to provoke this except say hi to this kid, which is in no way a reason to be hit. Anyway he gave her a bloody nose. The kid was suspended for 2 days. What I want to know is he is just in the third grade, but can we bring assault charges against him or his family? My husband says yes we can, but I didn't know. The main reason I'm upset is because no one from the school even tried to contact me about this incident when it happened.
This school is over crowded to begin with and there are only 3 people in the lunchroom to supervise these kids and that includes one para, a janitor and one lunch lady. That's not nearly enough people to watch that many kids at a time, especially when most of these kids are problem kids with a lot of issues. Most of the parents of these kids don't get involved with their kid's teachers or care what happens to them at school or at home for that matter.
I just happen to catch this kid's teacher leaving school early for an appointment and I went up to her car to say hi. That's when she asked me if anyone called me. Then she told me what happened, but had I not approached her, I probably wouldn't have known about it until my grandkids told me. When I went inside the school to pick the kids up, the principal was standing in the hall and she never said anything to me about it.
When the kid's grandma came to pick him up, I told her what happened and it was at that time, the principal told her that she had been trying to contact her all day but couldn't reach her. She then took this lady to a policeman who talked to her. This grandma came back to me and said my grandson hit your granddaughter because she was up in his face pointing her finger, which wasn't true, as I later found out. I said well that doesn't give him the right to hit a girl in the nose and she said, (and get this) well women are always fighting for equal rights. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I told her her grandson doesn't have a right to hit anyone at this school, much less a girl!
Well the principal never did talk to me yesterday and when I went home and told my husband, he was livid. I told him I wanted to talk to the principal before I took any other steps and so I did this morning. She told me that this kid had rights because he was a specials need kid and that they had to take certain steps before they could place him in another school or take any other actions besides suspending him. This kids had already kicked another little girl in the head this year. How many chances does he get? Does he have to kill some one before something is done? Anyway, what I was wondering, is what our my granddaughter's rights? Can we press charges for this or take any other measures to prevent something like this from happening again by this boy? By the way, my granddaughter is only in the second grade and this boy is only in the third. We live in Kansas. Does anyone know what the law says about this and what we can do?
Sorry this was so long but I felt it needed to be so you knew the whole situation. Thanks for any help, in advance.

Special needs or not, it doesn't give the boy the right to be a bully and be aggressive towards other children. If this is a continual problem with him, then the special needs advocate could require that he have one on one supervision while in the presence of other children in situations where he has been proven to become aggressive towards others.

I agree with you, your grand-daughter has the right to feel safe when she is at school. However, I don't think pressing charges against the child would do anything but make the ones who did it look foolish. Depending on his special needs, he may not know the difference in right and wrong, and just thinks it's okay to go around punching and kicking people. I would be more pressed to see if I couldn't get a special needs advocate to step in and get a little more supervision for him.
10-12-2007, 08:30 AM
ahippiechic

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrGrin

Special needs or not, it doesn't give the boy the right to be a bully and be aggressive towards other children. If this is a continual problem with him, then the special needs advocate could require that he have one on one supervision while in the presence of other children in situations where he has been proven to become aggressive towards others.

Yes, this. If he is special needs, pressing charges might not get you anywhere. But you should have been called when it happened, I know they can't call over every little bump and scrape but a 2nd grader getting a bloody nose from being hit by another student should warrent a call to the parent.
10-12-2007, 11:05 AM
cabby92

Take it above the school's head. Contact the administrators or school board. They are at fault. It's like having a mean dog. If you know it's mean it should be more carefully guarded. They need to protect other students from their mean dog.
10-12-2007, 11:29 AM
Jolie Rouge

I would call someone at the PD and get their opinion. One - it will give the school and the family of this child a reality check. Filing a report may be as effective as pursuing the charges.
10-12-2007, 01:23 PM
Tasha405

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrGrin

Special needs or not, it doesn't give the boy the right to be a bully and be aggressive towards other children. If this is a continual problem with him, then the special needs advocate could require that he have one on one supervision while in the presence of other children in situations where he has been proven to become aggressive towards others.

I agree with you, your grand-daughter has the right to feel safe when she is at school. However, I don't think pressing charges against the child would do anything but make the ones who did it look foolish. Depending on his special needs, he may not know the difference in right and wrong, and just thinks it's okay to go around punching and kicking people. I would be more pressed to see if I couldn't get a special needs advocate to step in and get a little more supervision for him.

ITA!
10-12-2007, 04:24 PM
Shann

I don't have any advise either. Is your granddaughter OK? I would be livid as well and if that boy's grandma came over to me and told me that, she would have to worry about being punched in the damn nose... see how she likes it :mad: There is no exscuse for his behaivor, he's all ready proven that he's violent, something needs to be done. I would also be fuming if the school didn't call me. I agree w/ the above poster, contact your local PD and file a report, hell even put in there what the grandmother said to you about why your granddaughter was hit... I'm sure the boys parents would like to see that... but if she said that, the parents prob would feel the same way :(
10-13-2007, 07:56 PM
Tadbit

Thanks for everyone's input. I just wanted to clear something up. The special need this kid has is that he has ADD, so he is aware of his actions. He has been in trouble so many times and knows what the consequences of his actions are. He was a problem last year as well and I know this because he was in my grandson's class. I use to help in the classroom last year so I seen this kid in action. I talked to the principal about this and I felt she basically just blew me off like she did the parent that had their daughter kicked in the head by this kid. I told the principal at that time that I felt someone should be watching over him and she said well there is people monitoring the lunchroom. Ok the "people" so she says that is watching the lunchroom filled with over 100 kids at a time is the lunch lady, who is busy handing out food and taking lunch tickets, a para, who is about 65 years old, and a janitor. I don't classify this as much help. I told her there was no way just these 3 people could keep an eye on that many kids and she said yeah I agree, things can happen so quickly that it's hard for everything to be caught. DUH!!! Do you think? Personally I don't think it should even be a part of the janitor's or the lunch lady's job.
We won't be pressing charges and that really never entered my mine as this is just a 3rd grader. It was my husband who had brought that up, but I still think that just suspending this kid for 2 days isn't going to solve the problem. Shoot he's probably having the time of his life not having to go to school.
10-13-2007, 10:00 PM
hblueeyes

bully

ADD, special needs or not, he has a proven record of excessively agressive behavior and should be in a school for such kids or he should be segregated until he is placed in one. Yes file charges, it will go to juvenile, but it will definitely be a wake up call for his parents as they are accountable. Get CPS involved also about the mothers attitude. This will put the parents on notice to take corrective actions with their son.

Me
10-13-2007, 10:57 PM
gmyers

If they have problems with the special needs kids being agressive or violent maybe the school could let them eat at a different time than the other kids or have their teacher take them to the lunch room and stay there with them. Thats what the teachers in our school used to do. Stay in the lunch room with their students.
10-14-2007, 05:14 AM
earnhardt1

my son is adhd and yes be can be a handful but he knows that
1. you NEVER hit a girl or anyone,unless they hit you first....
2. always use proper manners and dont blame your medical issues on the fact that you did something wrong.....
i would confront parents ,school board and whoever else to have something done or you gd could end up a target for his everyday bullying
10-14-2007, 07:08 AM
Vixen

I dont post much here but would just like to give my perspective on this issue.. NOw I am in Tx but here is my story.. MY stepson is ADHD and ODD so he was classified as a "Special Needs" child... however he did the same types of things in school and DID get in trouble for them and DID have charges pressed on him(rightly so) he even had terroristic threat charges placed on him for telling a child he was going to blow his head. We had so many problems with this child (most have been resolved as of yet) and I would feel so bad for the other children and their parents. Now because of the charges being pressed we were able to get the help we needed for him because if he didnt have charges then the courts wouldnt help us ... Since he is a minor these charges will be sealed so in a sense they dont hinder him as an adult but helped him to become a productive adult. Anyway I hope this made sense and helped some..
10-14-2007, 08:41 AM
YankeeMary

I am a huge advocate of mental illness, I think most on here know this. With that being said. NO ONE FOR ANY REASON HAS A RIGHT TO PUT THEIR HANDS ON ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!!! Just because someone has issues is not an excuse, it can be a reason, but there is no excuse. The school at this point has an obligation to this special needs boy. They have classified him as being able to be mainstreamed and its the schools responsiblity to make sure this child is not only kept safe but keep others safe from him. If they are unable to do this, then he must not be mainstreamed. IMO this school has let not only your granddaughter down but also this boy. I would consider pressing charges against the school, as it is there responsiblity to keep ALL kids safe at school. I would be furious at the so called principal as well as the boys idiot grandmother (maybe thats half the boys problem?) Regardless, its your granddaughter and its her right to get an education without feeling afraid, and thats the bottom line. You have to do what you have to do. I wish you the best and I am sorry it seems your school system really stinks. Good luck to you.
10-15-2007, 10:32 AM
Mom2-3boys

Where are the teachers during lunch?? Maybe elementary schools here are different then some, but the teachers go to lunch WITH their students and are in charge of keeping them in line and in middle school they recruit parents to help supervise.

I am sorry to hear about your granddaughter hopefully you can come to a resolution for her safety.
10-15-2007, 10:36 AM
tigger4

Our teachers do not eat lunch with their students. This is their lunchtime and they are not expected to work during their lunchtime.

We have PARA's who are in charge of lunchtime at our school. There are 3 or 4 of them with the students.

I would definitely be going to the principal with a complaint if my child was hit by another student. If I did not receive satisfaction from the principal, I would be making a call to the superintendent.
10-15-2007, 07:46 PM
jobrick

Your child should be safe at school. Since the boy was suspended for his behavior, the school knew about it and felt it was bad enough for suspension. I can't believe they did not notify anyone. I would be calling that school, if you had known you might have taken her to your own doctor in case her nose was broken. I think the school failed your granddaughter. Call that principal and find out why your granddaughter gets hurt by a bully at school and you are not notified.
10-15-2007, 09:09 PM
YankeeMary

Do you have an update?
10-17-2007, 08:28 PM
buglebe

What is a PARA? a volunteer parent? If you don't work and you have the time you could volunteer to go sit in the cafeteria or help with organizing parents who would be willing to go every so often to watch. I know that would be a huge task since so many parents don't care anymore.
10-18-2007, 10:36 AM
YankeeMary

Quote:

Originally Posted by buglebe

What is a PARA? a volunteer parent? If you don't work and you have the time you could volunteer to go sit in the cafeteria or help with organizing parents who would be willing to go every so often to watch. I know that would be a huge task since so many parents don't care anymore.

I know here they are called a ParaPro and I believe they are a paid teachers aid. My kids have ParaPro's and thats what they told me they were...lol.
10-18-2007, 12:44 PM
tigger4

A PARA is a PARA educator. In our state they have to have an associates degree in education and pass the state PARA test.
10-18-2007, 12:53 PM
YankeeMary

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigger4

A PARA is a PARA educator. In our state they have to have an associates degree in education and pass the state PARA test.

Yikes!!! Thats what I get for listening to teenagers...lol. Thanks for correcting me.
10-18-2007, 01:25 PM
ahippiechic

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigger4

A PARA is a PARA educator. In our state they have to have an associates degree in education and pass the state PARA test.

Same at my DD's school.
10-21-2007, 04:00 AM
Tadbit

Quote:

Originally Posted by YankeeMary

Do you have an update?

Hi Mary,
Yeah I talked to the principal but she said she had to take steps because this boy had rights. Ok so this past week this same boy ends up choking a little girl and leaving a scratch mark on her neck. Guess what the principal did? She suspended him for 2 more days...that's it!!!! I was furious. This little girl's mother went to the school board and filed a complaint. I went to the school board but got there too late and they were suppose to call me Friday and did not, so I will be talking to them on Monday, but in the meantime I did go ahead and reported it to the police. No charges can be brought against a 9 year old but I did get the battery on file. But next year when this boy turns 10, he'd better watch out because charges can be brought against him.
His grandmother is a complete idiot! She is in denial about all this. She said my granddaughter was a liar and so was this little girl that got choked. She said everyone at the school is just out to get her grandson. Oh yeah, I have nothing better to do than cause some poor little 9 year old a bunch of grief. How stupid can one get? If one of my grandkid's did something like he did or anything for that matter that got them in trouble at school, then they get in trouble when they get home too.
This isn't over yet by a long shot. This little girl's mother and I are going to continue to contact the school board until some action is taken. Our kids have a right to be protected while they are at school.
I really want to thank each of you for your input. It has helped me tremendously.

Quote:
What is a PARA? a volunteer parent? If you don't work and you have the time you could volunteer to go sit in the cafeteria or help with organizing parents who would be willing to go every so often to watch. I know that would be a huge task since so many parents don't care anymore.

I have volunteered my time at the school in the lunchroom, halls, and classrooms, but right now I have been helping my mom out because she is suffering from Alzhemier's and I've been taking her to Dr. appointments and taking care of some of her business affairs because she can't do it on her own. I'm being stretched in several directions right now and I sure didn't need any of this. You are right though. A lot of parents don't care, and it's too bad because it's most of those parents that have the troubled child. We have only a handful of parents who come in the school on a daily basis and when we had a family night last year, they had to give away a DVD player just to get parents to show up. It's pathetic. :(
10-21-2007, 04:18 AM
hblueeyes

rights

OK so charges of a criminal nature cannot be brought against this boy but a civil charge can be made. Get all the documentation you can and file a complaint against the grandmother in small claims court. His history will show that he is a problem and grandma did nothing so she can be held accountable.
Besides depending on your state a child as young as 5 can be a defendant in a law suit. Sad to say that some parents do nothing unless they are sued.

Me:rules