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    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Parenting

    9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids
    March 16, 2014 by Kristen

    She borrowed something from me.

    And then she lost it.

    Accidents happen.

    But it was the whole ďIt only cost ten bucks-you can get another oneĒ attitude that I couldnít let happen a moment longer. So, I gave her a job that required hard work and gave her the $10 she earned and then I made her pay me for what she lost.

    Listen, when I realized I was more than half the problem in this whole entitlement parenting challenge, it was a wake up call. Kids naturally want what they havenít earned, especially if we are handing it out for free.

    But what we have is an entire generation of young adults who got everything they ever wanted with little or no work; we have a cultural norm and itís a problem.

    Because reality is, life doesnít give us everything we want. We donít always get the best jobs or a job at all. We donít always have someone rescue us when we have a bad day or replace our boss just because we donít like them. We canít always have what we want when we want it. We arenít always rewarded in life.

    Here are 9 things we can get rid of to begin eliminating entitlement in our children:

    1. Guilt: Often we give into our kidís requests out of guilt. We need to stop feeling guilty for not giving our kids everything they want. Itís hard to swallow, but we foster the attitude of entitlement in our homes when we are ruled by a guilty conscience. Itís okay to ask kids to be responsible for what they lose and to require consequences for actions.

    2. Overspending: I think itís good for our kids to hear us say, ďWe canít afford thatĒ Or ďWe will have to save for it.Ē Because thatís real life. We donít have All The Money to Buy All the Things. Iíve known families before who are working multiple jobs to keep kids in extracurricular activities, when honestly, the kids would probably be happier with more family time.

    3. Birthday Party Goody Bag Mentality Iíve been guilty of this like most of us. But, really? We take our kids to parties so they can give a gift, but they take a small one home so they wonít feel bad? Itís not their birthday. This concept of spoiling kids (which usually goes far beyond goody bags) is temporary fun. Itís okay for them not to be the center of attention.

    4. Making our day-week-month, our world about our kids Working in the non-profit world has redirected our extra time. We simply canít center our lives around our children when we are centering our lives around Christ. Child-centered homes donít help children in the long-run.

    5. The desire to make our children happy (all the time). If you visited my house, youíd find out pretty quickly that someoneís always unhappy. Itís not our job to keep our kids happy. Donít carry that impossible burden. Typically when our kids are unhappy, itís because we are standing our ground. And that makes for much healthier kids in the future.

    6. Made Up Awards: You know what Iím talking about. Rewarding everyone who participates in every area only fosters an inflated self esteem. Kids donít need rewards for every little thing. Itís okay to lose, they learn through failure as much as success.

    7. Fixing all their problems: I donít like to see my kids struggling. Thereís a part of every parent that longs to make things right in their childís world. But itís not healthy to create a false reality. You wonít always be there to do so and not only that, if youíre doing it all for your child, why would they need to learn to do it themselves? Fixing all their problems is really only creating more challenges in the future.

    8. Stuff: We could all probably fill a half dozen trash bags with just stuff. Excess. Try it. Bag it up and get your kids to help you and give it to someone who needs it.

    9. Unrealistic Expectations: My girls are always asking for manicures. I didnít have one until I was married, pregnant and 27 years old. Iím not opposed to the occasional treat, but itís the attitude of expecting it because you as a parent or others have it. Just because I have an iPhone, doesnít mean my children will get one. We donít have to give our kids everything we have. Itís okay to make them wait for things in life.

    Itís okay to toss out these things. Go ahead, give it a try.

    http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/03/9....ppLBgmCL.dpuf
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Can We Bring The Holidays Down A Notch?
    Posted: 03/19/2013 4:02 pm

    This past Sunday was St. Patrick's Day, a holiday I had completely forgotten about until my oldest stumbled out of bed and into the living room at about 11:30 p.m. Saturday night while we were watching SNL. "Can I help you guys hide the gold coins?" he asked. The WHAT? "The gold coins. I know the leprechauns aren't real. I know it's you, like Santa. So I want to help you. I can make the leprechaun trap, too."

    We told him to go to bed and then looked at each other with exasperation. Gold coins? A leprechaun trap? Is he serious? When I was a kid we celebrated St. Patrick's Day by wearing something green. THE END. I had noticed that over the past few years, our kids were getting some grander ideas from school. But I didn't think that we needed to replicate these experiences at home.

    Apparently, the children believed that we did.

    All four of them woke up and came into our room like it was Christmas morning.

    Did a leprechaun visit?

    Can we search for him?

    Did he leave a pot of gold?

    Let's go find the gold coins!

    I bet he left chocolate!

    So. Many. Expectations.

    All of which were dashed.

    I had four seriously disappointed and grumpy kids on my hands. At one point my daughter went into full-blown meltdown mode, kicking random items in her room and yelling about what a LAME HOLIDAY this was.

    And in my overly-tired impatient state, I might have yelled back, "YOU'RE RIGHT. This IS a lame holiday. It was never my favorite. All we did was wear green. That's all we're doing today. I'm sorry if you do more at school. That's not what we do here. I don't know where you are hearing this stuff but it's not happening here."

    Fellow parents: St. Patrick's Day is supposed to be a "phone-it-in" holiday. Yes, I've turned into a bit of a grinch, but SERIOUSLY WITH THE HOLIDAY OVERKILL. It used to be Christmas was the main event, but now it's as if every holiday must be at a Level 10. And if Christmas wasn't already hard enough as a parent, someone also decided that we have to move an Elf around every day, into creative tableaus? And then someone else decided that the Advent Calendar was A Thing beyond a simple religious observation and now involves some kind of gift each day leading up to Christmas?

    And about a month after having survived that whole mess, we've got Valentine's Day, which has became The New Halloween, because God forbid you send a simple store-bought card. You'd better include some candy or your child will be shunned. Shunned! One of my kids came home with not just a candy from each class, but a WHOLE FREAKING GOODIE BAG from each student.

    And then, I think I've got a break for a month BUT NO. Surprise! We've got 100 Days of School to celebrate. And by "celebrate" I mean the kids sticking 100 things on a hat. And by "the kids" I mean me.

    And suddenly Pi Day is a thing? My children expect to be served pie because someone at school told them so?

    And Dr. Seuss's birthday? Sure it's a great event for school, but my kids are now asking what we're doing to celebrate that at home, too.

    And do not even get me started on what Easter has become. When I was a kid my mom went to the store and bought us a new dress and a pre-made plastic Easter basket for $8.99. THE END. There was candy and we loved it. Maybe we would die some eggs from a kit sitting in the check-out lane at Target. They would look like crap.

    Now we've got to leave footprints from the Easter Bunny and make artful, Pinterest-worthy eggs with stencils and ikat prints and probably some that are ombre. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

    I don't like the feeling of disappointing my kids. But I refuse to give into this holiday overkill. I'm overwhelmed enough as it is. Today I gave all of my kids a bath. We read with each of them for the recommended 20 minutes. We reviewed our math facts. We practiced guitar. We sat together at the table and ate a meal that was NOT procured at a drive-thru. We played outside. Most days, I'm struggling to achieve all these things. I can't have these haphazard, once-monthly overblown holidays take over my life. I can go big for Christmas and Easter. That's all I can handle.

    But I can't do this alone. Fellow parents... teachers... sunday school workers... I beseech you. BRING IT DOWN A NOTCH. Ya'll are setting up expectations that I just can't maintain. Wouldn't we all be just a little happier if we returned to the slacker days of store-bought valentines and kit-dyed eggs and JUST WEARING A GREEN SHIRT AND CALLING IT A DAY?

    For the sake of overwhelmed parents like me, I beg you. Stop the madness.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kriste...b_2903040.html
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    For some reason my computer isn't cooperating so it won't let me "like" your posts, but I love them and totally agree! Except pi day...I like pie so I serve that for dessert that night.
    WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE

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    Couldn't agree more with everything your saying here. I admit that I give into guilt so often with my own kids. Its like you let them control you sometimes Ironically enough guilt is a pretty effective parenting tactic when trying to get your child under control.

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    5 Reasons Modern-Day Parenting Is in Crisis, According to a British Nanny
    Posted: 07/02/2014 4:47 pm EDT

    I generally am quite an optimistic person. I tend to believe that everything will work out for the best unless the evidence is overwhelmingly to the contrary, and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not prone to drama. That's why when I say that modern parenting is in serious trouble -- crisis, even -- I hope you'll listen, and listen carefully. I've worked with children and their parents across two continents and two decades, and what I've seen in recent years alarms me. Here are the greatest problems, as I see them:

    1. A fear of our children.
    I have what I think of as "the sippy cup test," wherein I will observe a parent getting her toddler a cup of milk in the morning. If the child says, "I want the pink sippy cup, not the blue!" yet the mum has already poured the milk into the blue sippy cup, I watch carefully to see how the parent reacts. More often than not, the mum's face whitens and she rushes to get the preferred sippy cup before the child has a tantrum. Fail! What are you afraid of, mum? Who is in charge here? Let her have a tantrum, and remove yourself so you don't have to hear it. But for goodness' sake, don't make extra work for yourself just to please her -- and even more importantly, think about the lesson it teaches if you give her what she wants because she's thrown a fit.

    2. A lowered bar.
    When children misbehave, whether it's by way of public outburst or private surliness, parents are apt to shrug their shoulders as if to say, "That's just the way it is with kids." I assure you, it doesn't have to be. Children are capable of much more than parents typically expect from them, whether it's in the form of proper manners, respect for elders, chores, generosity or self-control. You don't think a child can sit through dinner at a restaurant? Rubbish. You don't think a child can clear the table without being asked? Rubbish again! The only reason they don't behave is because you haven't shown them how and you haven't expected it! It's that simple. Raise the bar and your child shall rise to the occasion.

    3. We've lost the village.
    It used to be that bus drivers, teachers, shopkeepers and other parents had carte blanche to correct an unruly child. They would act as the mum and dad's eyes and ears when their children were out of sight, and everyone worked towards the same shared interest: raising proper boys and girls. This village was one of support. Now, when someone who is not the child's parent dares to correct him, the mum and dad get upset. They want their child to appear perfect, and so they often don't accept teachers' and others' reports that he is not. They'll storm in and have a go at a teacher rather than discipline their child for acting out in class. They feel the need to project a perfect picture to the world and unfortunately, their insecurity is reinforced because many parents do judge one another. If a child is having a tantrum, all eyes turn on the mum disapprovingly. Instead she should be supported, because chances are the tantrum occurred because she's not giving in to one of her child's demands. Those observers should instead be saying, "Hey, good work -- I know setting limits is hard."

    4. A reliance on shortcuts.
    I think it's wonderful that parents have all sorts of electronics to help them through airline flights and long waits at the doctor's office. It's equally fabulous that we can order our groceries online for delivery, and heat up healthy-ish food at the touch of a button on the microwave. Parents are busier than ever, and I'm all for taking the easy way when you need it. But shortcuts can be a slippery slope. When you see how wonderful it is that Caillou can entertain your child on a flight, don't be tempted to put it on when you are at a restaurant. Children must still learn patience. They must still learn to entertain themselves. They must still learn that not all food comes out steaming hot and ready in three minutes or less, and ideally they will also learn to help prepare it. Babies must learn to self-soothe instead of sitting in a vibrating chair each time they're fussy. Toddlers need to pick themselves up when they fall down instead of just raising their arms to mum and dad. Show children that shortcuts can be helpful, but that there is great satisfaction in doing things the slow way too.

    5. Parents put their children's needs ahead of their own.
    Naturally, parents are wired to take care of their children first, and this is a good thing for evolution! I am an advocate of adhering to a schedule that suits your child's needs, and of practices like feeding and clothing your children first. But parents today have taken it too far, completely subsuming their own needs and mental health for the sake of their children. So often I see mums get up from bed again and again to fulfill the whims of their child. Or dads drop everything to run across the zoo to get their daughter a drink because she's thirsty. There is nothing wrong with not going to your child when she wants yet another glass of water at night. There's nothing wrong with that dad at the zoo saying, "Absolutely you can have something to drink, but you must wait until we pass the next drinking fountain." There is nothing wrong with using the word "No" on occasion, nothing wrong with asking your child to entertain herself for a few minutes because mummy would like to use the toilet in private or flick through a magazine for that matter.

    I fear that if we don't start to correct these five grave parenting mistakes, and soon, the children we are raising will grow up to be entitled, selfish, impatient and rude adults. It won't be their fault -- it will be ours. We never taught them any differently, we never expected any more of them. We never wanted them to feel any discomfort, and so when they inevitably do, they are woefully unprepared for it. So please, parents and caregivers from London to Los Angeles, and all over the world, ask more. Expect more. Share your struggles. Give less. And let's straighten these children out, together, and prepare them for what they need to be successful in the real world and not the sheltered one we've made for them.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emma-j...b_5552527.html
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Dear daughter, please believe me that you’re beautiful
    Matt Walsh/ July 14, 2014



    Dear Daughter,

    I hope you never notice the magazine rack at the supermarket.

    I hope you never see the billboards on the highway or the ads on the side of the city bus.

    I hope you never learn about Hollywood and the fashion industry.

    I hope you never listen to pop music.

    I hope you never walk down the makeup aisle.

    I hope you never hate your own appearance.

    I hope you never pick up the habit of putting yourself down whenever someone compliments you.

    I hope you never feel the pressure to physically conform to the perverse standards of a disordered world.

    I hope you always stay exactly as you are right now. Innocent, carefree, unencumbered, pure.

    But these could only be the hopes of a foolish idealist like your Dad. I can rub the genie lamp and make a thousand stupid wishes, but you will grow. You will start to learn about the culture that surrounds you. You will form opinions about yourself. Your vivacious, bubbly happiness will give way to more complex emotions. You will develop new dimensions.

    In these times, here in your very early life, you only cry because you’re hungry or tired or you want me to hold you. One day, though, your tears will come from a deeper place.

    And, when that day comes, I want you to remember one thing: you are beautiful.

    Beautiful. A work of art — full of life, exploding with a unique, dynamic, vibrant energy.

    Beautiful. Eyes like the morning, a strong and powerful spirit, a face that brims with joy and hope. Beautiful because you were formed by God. Beautiful because He has known you since before you even existed, He has loved you since the beginning of time. Beautiful because you’re real, beautiful because you are.

    Remember this. It’s important that you remember it, Julia, as you live in a society that’s dedicated to making you forget.

    Those commercials and movies and songs and cosmetic products and plastic surgeons and diet pills and trendy clothes and Cosmo magazine covers — they will all try to feed you something. An image. A broken promise. A false salvation. A poison. An airbrushed, manufactured, painted over, photoshopped, marketing ploy. A ‘sexiness’ that’s about as beautiful and feminine as an assembly line. A ‘hot’ that’s more sterile and processed than canned food.

    This is the price of living in a culture of consumerism. We all pay the toll, Julia. Your Dad included.

    See, modern humans spend every waking minute surrounded by advertisements and product placements and carefully crafted, focus grouped ‘messaging’ of all kinds. It tears you in a million different directions, but the lesson is always the same: you are not good enough. You need to be ‘improved,’ they’ll tell you. Demolished and rebuilt. Shamed and made over. Pulverized and perfected.

    They pull out their metaphorical shotguns and blow giant holes in your psyche. They hollow you out and convince you that they’ve got the right thing to plug the gaps. They create a void in your conscience and pour their propaganda into it. This is why we have an unachievable, inhuman, digitized idea of beauty in our society. We’ve fallen for the ultimate scam, and the scammers have reaped dividends.

    A little while ago, around your mom’s birthday, I had the crazy idea that I would attempt to purchase her some clothing items as part of a gift. By the way, you can tell that your Dad is a very hip and trendy dude, seeing as how he just used the phrase “purchase some clothing items.” Anyway, my quest was unsuccessful — not to mention bewildering and terrifying — but I feel like I was enlightened by the journey. Apparently, the shops in the mall have collectively determined that every woman is a size zero and none of them care about dressing modestly (I still don’t understand how there can even be such a thing as a ‘size zero’ — all human beings must, according to physics, have some mass, right?).

    Of course, these stores are wrong. Most women aren’t rail thin and many of them aren’t interested in dressing like music video back-up dancers. You just wouldn’t know it based on the selection at these boutiques, which, it would seem, have a clientele consisting mainly of mannequins and runway models.

    I guess I’ve learned to take a few things for granted. As a guy, I can walk into any clothing store and find something that A) fits, and B) provides my body with basic coverage, which is the whole reason clothing exists in the first place, according to Wikipedia. As you will eventually discover, women have an entirely different experience. For them, even something as simple as clothes shopping becomes an all out assault on their values, priorities, and body image.

    And women aren’t the only victims. Men might not be chasing Hollywood beauty, but we have our own unreasonable expectations, imposed on us by ourselves and the world outside. We all — men and women alike — feel the pressure to present a faÁade. We all want to appeal to the masses. It’s like we’re locked in this eternal competition to be beautiful, or popular, or successful, or whatever, except we set our bar for beauty, popularity, and success according to the standards of the very strangers we’re trying to ‘beat.’ We want to be like everyone, and liked by everyone, but also better than everyone. This parallel battle for sameness and superiority wreaks havoc upon our souls, and the damage can sometimes be irreparable.

    It’s gotten worse now with the internet and social media. The struggle to impress our peers has invaded and consumed every minute of our lives. Julia, please understand this: of the entire population of the planet, only an infinitesimal percentage of them will ever be more than anonymous to you. Only the tiniest fraction will ever give you more than a passing glance. You should still love and respect these strangers, but you don’t need to impress them. Be a beacon of charity and truth to everyone, but you don’t need to worry about the opinions and judgments of every single person you happen across on the street.

    It doesn’t really matter how they feel about you, yet many of us want to be desirable to everyone, even and especially those we don’t know. We want them to feel something when they look our way. Feel what? I don’t know. Envy. Admiration. Inferiority. A combination of all three, I suppose. We certainly can’t allow them to carry on with their day feeling better, or more attractive, or smarter, or more successful.

    A silly way to live, isn’t it? We gain nothing from it, Julia. We do everything we can to impress the unknown faces in the crowd, and where does that get us? Nobody really cares in the end, anyway. Those faces are likely immersed in their own self-absorbed psychological vacuums, and whatever impression we make on them will dissipate as soon as we leave their line of sight.

    We’ve all become like puffs of smoke to each other, evaporating just as quickly as we appear.

    It’s a vicious, violent, tormenting cycle, and I don’t want you to be a part of it.

    I’ll do whatever it takes to see to that, although honestly, I’m not sure what it will take, exactly.

    Maybe Mom and I can just hold you close and love you.

    Will that be enough?

    And maybe I can just keep reminding you that you’re beautiful, even now, when you can’t really understand what I’m saying. Maybe if I say it often enough, you’ll believe me.

    Will you always believe me?

    I hope so.

    I pray so.

    Remember, Mom and Dad are two of the very few people on Earth who will tell you the truth about yourself. The truth that, from your first moments in this world, you’ve been like a vision, full of warmth and light. You don’t need to be photoshopped or edited or remade or made up, and you never will. You don’t need a “touch-up” or a “correction.” You were molded by the hands of God and given to us as a gift from Paradise. You don’t need to add fad diets, expensive shoes, and forty layers of makeup to the package.

    You will meet a lot of people in this world, and many of them are out to take something from you or sell something to you. So they’ll try to attack your self-image, suffocate your confidence, make you vulnerable, and seize whatever it is they want.

    That’s the game.

    Never play it.

    That’s the lie.

    Never believe it.

    Never believe it.

    I’ll protect you for as long as I can, Julia, but the day will come when I can no longer shield you from it all.

    That’s why I wrote this letter. For the times when the pressures of the world — the constant, deafening din, screaming “you’re not pretty enough, you’re not good enough” — become a little too heavy to shoulder. Whether it’s 7 years from now, or 17, or 70 — whenever you need a reminder, here it is:

    You’re beautiful.

    Love,

    Dad

    Read more at http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/07/...UfzAvm4WOVx.99
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Allie’s Rules for High School
    August 3, 2014 by Sandra Stanley

    A few nights ago I had an encounter with my 18-year-old daughter that will be imprinted on my heart forever. I walked into her room; she was sitting on the floor with her laptop. Immediately obvious was her determined focus on something she was typing. While I made a mental note of the messy room and intended to revisit it momentarily, I asked what she was working on so seriously. She looked up and said, “Mom, tell me what you think of this. These are Allie’s High School Rules. I’m giving them to my ninth graders.”


    To give you a little context, Allie served as a small group leader to middle school girls on Sunday mornings at our church. That group is entering Milton High School as freshmen in a couple weeks. Allie has poured lots of time and energy into these girls over the past few years, and loves them so much. Having just graduated from Milton herself, she has a fresh perspective on exactly what they’ll be encountering over the next four years. She decided to put together a list of “guidelines” that she’s hoping will help them navigate the sometimes treacherous waters of high school.

    As Allie began reading her list to me, I found myself crumbling (in a good way) on the inside. By the time she reached the end of her list, I was sitting on the floor with eyes flooded. I was overwhelmed and amazed at her maturity and strength. I knew she had made good choices throughout high school, and had traversed some hard things in ways that demonstrated her love for Christ and desire to obey Him. But to hear the “rubber meets the road” advice she put on paper was incredible. In that moment, I LOVED her messy room too!

    So, I’m going to share 20 of “Allie’s Rules for High School” with you! Some of them are inside jokes she has with her girls, but you’ll get them anyway. Pass on to any rising high schoolers you might know!

    1.Surround yourself with people who build you up, not people who tear you down.

    2.Treat your kisses like you have a limited supply.

    3.Guard your heart. Seriously … your heart is precious.

    4.Stay vertical/no buttons and zippers (or Velcro). In other words, set your boundaries and stick to them.

    5.Have an accountability partner and be willing to tell HER everything.

    6.Be so so so so so so so SO SO SO SO careful who you date.

    7.If you’re wondering if you should break up with him, break up with him.

    8.If your girl gets broken up with, go buy her a stuffed animal, a blanket, candy, and lots and lots of ice cream. (Other gifts are acceptable.)

    9.Pray, PRAY, PRAY! Don’t ever forget how much you need God.

    10.Have a quiet time. It may seem like a hassle, but it will help you stay close to God.

    11.Be nice to your parents. They love you and want the best for you, so if you disagree with them, just realize that they are a lot smarter than you…sorry about it.

    12.If you find yourself lying to your parents/other adults in your life, backtrack and get out of that situation IMMEDIATELY. You are somewhere you do not want to be.

    13.Never be afraid to say no. It’s better to be a wimp than dead.

    14.When you fall on your face, get back up and keep moving (literally and figuratively).

    15.Journal so you can look back and see what God has done in your life.

    16.Even when you don’t want to, GO TO CHURCH!

    17.If it’s not classy, don’t do it.

    18.Don’t judge. Even when people are doing things you don’t agree with, show them love.

    19.Pause before you speak… this will prevent a lot of problems.

    20.Selfies are for faces.
    If you have a teenage girl in your life, and she has a good high school rule to add, let us hear from you/her!

    http://sandrastanley.com/2014/08/all...r-high-school/
    Last edited by Jolie Rouge; 08-05-2014 at 07:33 PM.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    10 Problems All Moms of Boys Have
    by Rita Templeton

    I can’t tell you what problems you’d face with, say, fifty cats in your house. Or the challenges life would bring if you were born with an extra nose or only one boob. But if there’s one thing I know about, it’s the hurdles involved with raising an all-dude brood. Mine are still on the young side – no stinky, hormonal teenagers for another few years, thank goodness – but even little men present a unique set of dilemmas. You’ve read Ten Boy-Mom Musts? Here are ten more crazy things you can expect if you’re blessed with a boy (or several).

    1. Say 'so long' to silence. If I had a nickel for every time I shushed someone or reminded them (for the eight millionth time) to use their “inside voice,” I’d be enjoying an early retirement on the beach in Ibiza. With a boob job and a tummy tuck. And a frosty drink. Wait, what? Oh yes. Little boys are loud, is my point. Even when they’re within a one-foot radius of each other, they still feel the need to bellow. Especially if they’re excited … which boys almost always are, about one thing or another. And P.S.? Their toys are loud too. Yay!

    2. Gender-neutrality? Good luck with that. In a valiant attempt to make my boys as well-rounded as possible, I have provided them with a slew of baby dolls, kitchen playsets and other toys typically geared toward girls. I have made impassioned speeches about how there are no “boy colors” and “girl colors,” but simply colors, period, and how it’s okay to wear whichever one makes you feel happy. They’ve asked me to paint their fingernails, and I’ve gladly obliged. But as they get older, they are leaning more and more toward activities of the masculine persuasion (and are downright disgusted with anything they perceive as “girly”) – despite my best efforts to quash a “boy stuff vs. girl stuff” mentality. Most boys are … boyish. It’s something a boy mom has to accept. Which brings me to number three …

    3. Rough is routine. One little boy can be plenty rough all by himself – but you put him with a male friend or family member (or several) and it’s a recipe for a wrestling match. They push and shove and punch and tackle and wallow, whether they’re happy, angry, or anything in between. This can be especially problematic for two reasons: one, they lose track of their surroundings and damage your crap (I’ve had holes – multiple – in my walls and a broken TV screen to back up that claim). And two …

    4. The ER staff will know you. Intimately. You know how they say kids are expensive? They’re not joking. When you have a boy, you should automatically tack a couple hundred bucks onto your monthly expenses for out-of-pocket medical costs (and, at the very least, a bunch of Neosporin and gauze). Concussions, chipped teeth, broken bones, nasty gashes and road rashes - boy moms encounter a steady stream of these and must be prepared accordingly. Well, as prepared as you can ever be when your kid comes to you with an injury that makes your stomach turn. Should I also mention that the frequency and variety of injuries will be such that you’ll secretly panic inside every time, thinking somebody will surely report you to the authorities for abuse? Yeah. It’s like that.

    5. Weapons are everywhere. Along the lines of roughhousing and ER visits, parents of dudes must face the fact that little boys can – and will - turn almost anything into a weapon. When my oldest son was a toddler, I swore that he’d never play with toy guns. Not even water guns. But guess what? Life happens, and somewhere along the way he encountered his first Super Soaker and was hooked. Four boys later, and my once weapon-free closets are stocked with a plastic arsenal. I’m telling you now, though, it doesn’t matter if you outlaw weapons: they’ll make them. Out of empty wrapping paper/toilet paper/paper towel tubes. And sticks. And Legos. And leftover sticks from corn dogs. And any-damn-thing that can be aimed, flung, or jabbed at someone repeatedly.

    6. Kiss your girly dreams goodbye. I used to fantasize about my daughter wearing my wedding dress. Or bequeathing her my high school journals, filled with stories of my friends, crushes, and drama. But I’m pretty sure my boys aren’t gonna want to read about the “magical” New Year’s Eve kiss I received my junior year. And I can almost bet that nobody’s going to be clamoring to wear my wedding dress (but hey, boys? If that’s your type of thing, it’s all yours, man). When you don’t have girls, you’re less likely to do these types of things. And you have to make peace with it. But wanna know a secret? That’s not the worst part. The worst part comes when people don’t understand that you’re cool with having all boys, and they act unnecessarily sympathetic – like your life is somehow incomplete without female offspring, and you’re going around pining for the daughters you never had. Now that’s irritating.

    7. Oh, the pressure! As the mother of a boy, you feel a huge - gigantic - obligation to make sure that they don’t grow into that douche-y ex-boyfriend that every woman has. The problem is, you’re not sure what exactly makes sweet little boys grow into bad dates and insufferable bedfellows. There’s no manual that tells us how to ensure that our dudes develop into ideal mates (or at least close) – and if you’ve never been a man yourself, it can be hard to tap into what makes them tick, adult-relationship-wise. So you do the best you can, but it’s all trial-and-error. And then you have to wait until they grow up to see if it worked.

    8. Stains stink. Trying to keep boys’ clothing pristine is like trying to jump into a pool and stay dry. And figuring out how to treat the endless parade of stains – from grass to blood to pudding to mud to Popsicles to poop – is a never-ending guessing game. You’ll spend hundreds of dollars amassing a collection of stain removal products so impressive that your laundry room will rival the detergent aisle at the grocery store. And you’ll hold your breath as you run the pre-treated item through the wash, and then snarl and swear and grit your teeth as it comes out still bearing the faint trace of spray paint or gum or permanent marker that you tried so hard to banish. You’ll toss out tons of stuff because nobody wants a hand-me-down that looks like you tried to tie-dye it with spaghetti sauce. Yeah, you’ll get to shop for new clothes for your boys, but here’s the next boy-mom problem …

    9. Boy clothes are boring. It’s true. If you want easy, boy clothes are where it’s at: outfits are a snap to put together because there are only a handful of styles and everything goes together. But it’s not fun. Boys aren’t all that into accessories. It’s not like you get to choose ruffly socks or a coordinating hair ribbon or the perfect necklace. The boys’ clothing sections in stores always pale in comparison to the girls’. You might get to pick out, like, a belt or some sunglasses once in a while … but that’s about the closest to accessorizing that you’re gonna get.

    10. Sometimes you just. Don’t. Know. I can comfort my boys when they’re sad or scared, praise them when they do well, correct them when they do wrong, and be happy when they’re happy. But when it comes to completely, 100% identifying with their feelings and concerns, let’s just say that one little thing stands between a mom and her total understanding of her sons. And I do mean one thing - also known as the penis. Because as much as I can empathize with the boys, I will never be able to completely understand why the male appendage requires so much airing out, or the allure of pulling on it all the time, or why its facing the “wrong way” (whatever that is) in your Ninja Turtle briefs is cause for alarm. Don’t even get me started on the questions that ensue on the occasions when it, uh, points north instead of south. It’s hard to teach them about a body part that you don’t have, so I resort to stammering uncomfortably scientific explanations for stuff like that.

    Just remember: When applicable, “Ask your dad” can be a boy-mom’s best phrase.

    http://www.scarymommy.com/moms-of-bo....uDocgUnV.dpuf
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    33 Reasons Moms are Late
    by Jenny Isenman

    I was never an incredibly punctual person, but but becoming a parent has put a whole new spin on my excuses for being late to meetings, school, parties and appointments. Back in the day, I was late because of the normal stuff, you know, my hair didn’t look just right, my alarm clock didn’t go off, there was traffic on 95… Now, between me barely keeping my head on straight and my kids being out of their minds, my excuses look more like this:

    Sorry I’m late but …

    1. My daughter’s socks hurt, or as she likes to put it, her socks “hate her.”

    2. Both my children had to poop as soon as we left the driveway.

    3. I couldn’t find my keys … they were in my pocket.

    4. My kids were fighting over who got to sit in which seat.

    5. My son decided to wrestle with the dog rather than simply walk out the door, so we had to clean the fur off of his clothes, but I couldn’t find the lint roller, so I had to fashion one from masking tape and MacGyver it off.

    6. All of a sudden, none of their shoes seemed to have a mate. NONE.

    7. It seemed like a good time for one of them to ask where babies come from.

    8. There was a wardrobe malfunction that led to wet underwear and a much-needed, last-minute bath.

    9. My son skinned his knee on the way to the car.

    10. My kids got suddenly parched, which led to drinks, which led to snacks. So, we’re here to meet you for lunch, but frankly, no one is hungry.

    11. No one heard me say “it’s time to go,” even though I said it 20 times … at various volumes.

    12. My daughter decided this would be a good time to have a meltdown over something that happened hours ago. Did I say hours? I meant days.

    13. My kids were fighting over who the dog loves more.

    14. It seemed like a good time for one of them to ask about puberty.

    15. I couldn’t find my phone… it was in my hand.

    16. My son got a fever on the way to the car.

    17. My dog, who had just gone out, decided to pee on the floor.

    18. My son found the dog pee… with his foot.

    19. My kids were fighting over what radio station I would get stuck listening to.

    20. My son remembered that he forgot to do his homework.

    21. It seemed like a good time for one of them to ask me about homosexuality.

    22. My daughter changed 13 times until she felt she found an outfit that said, “I’m fashionable, but not so chic that I can’t meet someone for fro yo.”

    23. My kids bumped heads getting into the car.

    24. My son’s elbow hurt.

    25. My kids were fighting over whose tongue is longer.

    26. My daughter decided that an old cut needed to be re-cleaned and re-bandaged. We couldn’t find the cut, as it had basically healed, so we cleaned and bandaged where we thought it once was.

    27. I couldn’t find my glasses… they were on my head.

    28. My daughter wanted to draw this picture for you. You better love it.

    29. A stuffed animal that hasn’t been played with in months was noticed to be missing as we exited the house. Lost signs needed to be made, the milk carton people needed to be alerted and we ransacked our home to find it.

    30. My son fell out of the car ... while getting into the car.

    31. I couldn’t find one of my kids, he/she was waiting in the car.

    32. My daughter realized she forgot to put on underwear and she was in a skirt.

    33. My daughter’s fingernail was itchy.

    http://www.scarymommy.com/33-reasons....8vAMOrBI.dpuf
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Passive Aggressive Gifts For Kids of Parents You Hate

    http://www.scarymommy.com/gifts-for-....7xASxsBH.dpuf
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    10 Things Your Daughter Should Know by the Time She Is 10
    Laura Usky Posted: 08/08/2014

    1. How adored she is. No matter what you disagree on and even though sometimes you may yell, she should know she is the center of your universe -- always.

    2. How to cook. She should be able to prepare small snacks such as eggs, pasta, toast, sandwiches etc. My daughter loves to cook and letting them experiment enforces this life skill.

    3. Body changes are coming and what to expect. She needs to know that along with these hormonal changes will come some emotional changes as well. I have bought my daughter a great book by American Girl called The Care and Keeping of You that breaks down the physical and emotional changes in a very easy to understand way. I highly recommend it or a book like it to assist in explaining all that is going to happen to their bodies in the next few years.

    4. The harm of drugs. Unfortunately, no matter where you live, drugs are a threat to your child and it starts as early as 10 in some cases. Explain to them in no uncertain terms that no drugs are safe to try even once. Make them understand the tragedy that results in the use of drugs and how dangerous and illegal they are. I have made it clear to my daughter that friends will try to convince you to experiment and that she has to be strong enough to walk away, even if it makes her "uncool" to them. I have also let her know that when she gets older and is out and ever feels a situation is becoming unsafe or making her uncomfortable to call a parent to come get her no matter what.

    5. At this age, it's important for them to know something about the facts of life. I know it's a tough convo to have, but you surely don't want them getting their info on the playground at school. I don't think they need every detail, but a small chat will help them feel more mature about body functions and will prevent crude talk about the subject that they may hear from other kids.

    6. They should be aware how there are people all over the world and even in their own community who may not be as fortunate as they are. They should know that helping someone in need is a gratifying feeling and that the help they give may be the boost that person needs to turn their day around. Take them to a local animal shelter or a senior center and let them spend some time volunteering They will feel so good when they are done and it's a life long habit of helping everyone should practice.

    7. Money doesn't grow on trees. I admit I'm definitely a shopaholic, but I try hard to make it clear to my daughter that nothing comes for free. I worked since I was 15 years old and that gave me the opportunity to shop and travel. She is aware that no work equals no money equals no fun. When she gets money for birthdays and holidays, her father has taught her to split it up into three funds: one to spend, one for emergencies and one for long-term goals such as college. She keeps three separate banks so as not to confuse her funds. It's a good habit for them to get into and will keep them on track later in life.

    8. Appearance is important. She should know that personal grooming and appropriate clothing for different events are something that will be necessary throughout her life.

    9. Everyone won't always be nice. My daughter is going into fifth grade and it's the time that all the nasty girl drama starts. It was already peeking its head a little in fourth grade, but I anticipate the next two years is when they really get catty. I have talked to her about what girls get snippy about and how to stay out of the drama. You have to stay true to your close friends no matter what, and don't be involved in groups that talk about other girls because eventually, they will talk about you, too. I've tried to teach her to be confident enough to hold her own, but aware of trouble makers and not afraid to report issues that seem dangerous, like extreme bullying or threats.

    10. Life is not easy. There will be challenges she will face that will seem cruel and impossible. It will take her faith, her family and her perseverance to get through some of the things that life throws at her. It's important to know life is going to be a series of ups and down and be prepared to deal with both.

    Learning these 10 things is a good base with which to begin the tough preteen and teen years. Helping our children maneuver life is our jobs as parents, even if we haven't quite figured it all out ourselves yet.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-...gn=pubexchange
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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