Thread: Thanksgiving Letter

My family has so many crazy holiday stories that viewing AFP’s Thanksgiving Letter has become an annual tradition. We can certainly relate, as we have our own fabled version:

One year, my wife and I hosted Thanksgiving for our extended family of 25+ people. My 92-year-old father – a man who, at that time, still took daily two-mile walks, managed four buildings he owned, and treated his seven middle aged offspring like children – decided HE would continue to have the upper hand in the day’s event. He wanted to make sure every detail was executed to perfection, with minimal disruption from youngsters and other family members who hoped this would be a fun gathering. A few weeks before the holiday, Dad handed me this instruction letter: It was written on he back of a (used) business sized envelope that he hand-lined with a ruler, presumably to save the cost of a piece of looseleaf paper. For those who can’t read his handwriting, it reads:

“For Thanksgiving Dinner November 2004. These are just a few thoughts. Perhaps you already have yours. Aim is to present a hot meal at dining time: Serve all guests younger than 5 years prior to service to adults. Count the youngsters as they come in the front door. Immediately gather their dinner plates (1 for 1). Have three (adult) people fill the youngsters’ dinner plates. This should be a fast phase. Try to discourage talking. Have the parents assist the kids. Remember the heat must be guided this time period so that the parents will enjoy a hot Thanksgiving dinner. Larry is watching heat during THIS PHASE. The adults are now in process of having their plates filled by TWO FILLER UP adults. Dessert is served to children and adults at the same time and coffee and tea is served in readily accessible cups & saucers. Perhaps paper cups and Sprite for children. Sprite or nothing. Get the youngsters satisfied as quickly as possible to minimize heat loss for the moms and pops.”

Also to make you laugh ...
Redneck Thanksgiving

The Thanksgiving Letter .
November 26th, 2009

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

The Mike Byron Family

1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon.
Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy.
I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you,
but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.

2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA,
I don’t care what the other one is.
No store brands please.
I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!!
(no pressure here, though).

3. Toppings for the ice cream.

4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family

1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon.
If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds,
if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds.
It is up to you how you wish to prepare them,
no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is),
a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta,
or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.

2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona)
or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
(you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family

1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres.
A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling,
NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind.
I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip.
Not a huge platter mind you
(i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family

1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon.
Please make the stuffing sans meat.

2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole
with a lid and serving spoon

3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.

4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family

1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon.
Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year.
Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things:
put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid
and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that
or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids.
Only one serving spoon is needed.

2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family
(why do I even bother she will never read this)

1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.

2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

.
.
.
.
.
Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/2009/...giving-letter/

Does everyone just *love* family holiday get togethers?

regulation size casserole dishes

regulation size ??

So you want to deep fry a turkey???
Watch this safety video first.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x17...te-farm_people



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYkRF...layer_embedded



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGJGv...layer_embedded



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=HgGf38ngXHw





Best way : Tony's Seafood 5215 Plank Road Baton Rouge, Louisiana 70805 Today 8:00 am - 7:30 pm.
Phone (800) 356-2905 Email shipping@tonyseafood.com, Website http://www.tonyseafood.com

Fried Turkey $38.99

I'm afraid Marney and I would not get along, I would have to tell her where to put her orders.

Originally Posted by Eyore

I'm afraid Marney and I would not get along, I would have to tell her where to put her orders.

I have a sister not quite as bad as "Marney" ... I could see her attempting this ... but since everyone would ignore and/or mock her ... I don't think she would dare. I have been given my "assignment" for dinner ... actually a choice of which dish I would prefer to make. The details about servingware would not go over well. Our "Family Dinner" usually seats about 100 people so the organization is important.

( PS : I have carrot soufflé and corn casserole as my dishes )

The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks!
November 26th, 2013



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=dkFI4VLjo40

After years of trying, the real Marney finally agreed to sit down and talk to AFP about her famous Thanksgiving Letter.

Originally Posted by 3lilpigs

All the fuss just cracks me up!
My Thanksgiving consists of 7-10 people. lol (possibly 1 baby added, if he decides to make his grand debut by then!)
We sit, eat turkey that mom makes, apple pie and then help with the dishes.

This year, after all that, we'll watch the Ravens beat the stuffing out of the Steelers.

Don't count on the Steeler's losing!!!

For your Thanksgiving Amusement