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  1. #1

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    Divorce Name change?

    So I am getting divorced. I want to keep hubbys name because that is how I am known and my sons have this name. My one son says I should go back to my maiden name.

    Should I stay or change. Please state your reasons so I can decide.

    TIA

    Me

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  3. #2
    BeanieLuvR's Avatar
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    I would keep hubby's last name because I would want to have the same last name as my kids and I think it would be easier as far as paperwork. My SIL got divorced after 25 years of marriage and kept my BIL's last name. She did it because she wanted to have the same last name as her kids and grandkids. I really think it is just a personal preference. I'd do what I wanted to do.

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    FreeBnutt's Avatar
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    Getting divorced... still stuck together? OK IF you want his last name to remain yours, it better be in the Divorce Decree! Cuz he can demand after a certain amount of time (usually they give two years) YOU must switch back to Maiden name, unless you got married, then thats a no brainer. Talk to your lawyer if you really want to keep his, and not for convenience reasons. (Down the line you can still be tied for personal debts of his (you are unaware of, and Credit ratings, and get yours ruined). PLUS do you get to keep the engagement/wedding rings? He can ask for them back too. Especially if they were heirlooms.

    Is he a spiteful person? Can you trust him? If there is anything specific you want out of the divorce, make sure its discussed. The list goes on and on.

    Going Off the Grid!

  5. #4
    janelle's Avatar
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    How long where you married? If ten years then I think that is long enough to keep the name and ring, etc, etc.

    My hubby's ex went back to her maiden name and I became (Mrs., his kids' last name) and now I am (grandma, the grandkids last name.) It just seems I am more identifyed as the kids' mom and grandkids, grandma than she is. I think she should have kept her married last name but that was her choice. But then she got married 2 more times so I guess that makes it even more mixed up. She always went back to her maiden name.

    It's up to you and you may get married again so you would be Mrs. your new hubby's name anyway.

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    pepperpot's Avatar
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    I hope it all works out for you. I'm sure it's very difficult on so many levels. ((hblue))
    Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....

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    sunniekiss's Avatar
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    I kept mine because of the kids & because it was my name for a longer period that my maiden name. It wasn't written in the divorce decree either. You can't force someone to have to revert back to their maiden name.
    Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

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    Eyore's Avatar
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    I think most people keep the last name of their husband. I know only of one lady that went back to her maiden name, and it was because she found out some bad things about the guy she married and she didn't want her name to be linked with his. Her first marriage she kept her husbands name the second one she went back to her maiden name.
    I think it is a decision that you will have to decide on yourself.

  9. #8
    SLance68's Avatar
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    It is your name - you decide which you want. They cannot come and force you to change your name after any period of time. Your credit will be affected by him as long as there are formerly joint accounts because creditors are idiots and don't care what the laws say. Most all of my friends kept their married name. I had one friend that was married 15 years got divorced, remarried 2 years later then divorced again and went back to the first husbands last name since it was her kids last name. It is your choice and you are going to have to live with whatever name you choose.

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    FreeBnutt's Avatar
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    Yes they can, if its in the Divorce Decree! I guess because the person that happened to was a Professional, and the Hubby gaver her one year to do it, because of all the legal stuff involved Professionally. Ended up extended an extra year, because she procrastinated.

    Going Off the Grid!

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    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    When I divorced in 89 - I took back my maiden name because we had no children together and there was NO reason to be associated with the lying, cheating, thieving, two timing, cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-azz, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sht SOB ever again. I am remarried and retained my maiden name as my MIDDLE name along with my husbands' name. IF we were to part, I would likely keep his name as it is the same as my children.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #11

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    I think you should do what you want to do. I reverted back to my maiden name...for a variety of reasons. Primary was that I had a Hispanic last name. At the time, it was professionally advantageous to be a minority. As for having the same name as my daughter...that was never an issue. So many kids have different last names than their parent/s and schools are quite used to it. My daughter is over 40 and it wasn't even an issue back then. When I re-married, I hyphenated my name so I could keep the minority name as part of my professional life. Now...almost 35 years later I really regret it. Having a hyphenated name has just been a royal PITB! I also must confess that rejecting my married name really hurt my ex's feelings...and that was an added bonus...LOL!

    But I know many women have chosen to keep their married name. Sometimes they prefer it to their maiden name. Other times they have had that name longer and have all their identifying information, e.g. driver's license, credit cards, etc., in that married name. It isn't an easy thing to change everything back. And, some women don't want to bother. So, I think you should do what feels best to you. Don't let anyone guilt you into doing what you don't want to do.

    And, as for having to take back your married name...maybe that is a requirement in some states, but it certainly isn't a 'federal law'. It isn't a requirement in California. Just because something was required in one state, in a particular circumstance, doesn't make it a prevailing rule that applies to everyone everywhere. Ask your attorney if it's necessary. And, just because something is in a 'divorce decree' doesn't make it engraved in stone either!

    For example...I work in employee benefits. We get Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO) all the time...signed by judges...ruling on division of retirement assets in divorces. However, in many cases those QDRO's conflict with the plan's requirements. Retirement plan assets are governed by ERISA...a FEDERAL requirement! And Federal trumps States pretty much always. So...we could give a hoot for what some judge has ordered. Those QDRO's get kicked back as invalid! And the parties affected have to spend more money to get their QDRO's in line with the plan requirements. Now, I realize that this is a completely different example than reverting back to a maiden name upon divorce...but I was responding more to the poster who said it had to happen because it was said in the Divorce Decree.

    Good luck to you in whatever choice you make!
    Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.

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