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  1. #1

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    Can I have everyone's opinion?

    I'm wondering if my hubby and I are being too strict. Our daughter has 3 kids (ages 4, 7, and 12.) My son has 5 (ages 4 mos, 2 year-old twins, 3 1/2, and 5. Yes...it is a handful.)

    I first want to say that we LOVE LOVE LOVE our grandchildren. We have a 4 bedroom house and 2 of the bedrooms are set aside for the grandkids. There is a Mickey Mouse room for the boys and a Princess room for the girls. (I work for Disney so have access to lots of Disney stuff.) The rooms have toys galore, a fully furnished dollhouse, TV with DVD player and every imaginable Disney DVD...plus lots more.

    Downstairs there are also a passel of toys which every child can access.

    Now, onto the problem. My son's children are holy terrors. They jump on furniture, beds, climb on tables, pick up items and throw them, etc. Telling them 'no' or 'we don't jump on furniture' doesn't seem to have an effect. Are we being over-protective of our belongings?

    My children were not allowed to do these things when they were growing up. Heck...my daughter's kids don't do them unless their cousins are there. Is this acceptable behavior or am I just an old fogey??? We try to have lots of things available so that they will be entertained when they are at our house. I haven't said anything to my son...yet. But, before I do, I want to know if I'm the one with unreasonable expectations or are they just allowing their children to have undisciplined behavior.

    Thanks a bunch!!
    Last edited by Kelsey1224; 05-09-2012 at 11:48 AM.
    Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.

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  3. #2
    3lilpigs's Avatar
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    Are we being over-protective of our belongings?
    NO. They are your belongings, and it's YOUR house.

    Your house.........your rules.

    I never allowed it in my house when my nieces were little and they knew it.

    If they weren't going to behave and follow my rules, then they'd stay home. I don't go to their house and tear up their rooms.


    or are they just allowing their children to have undisciplined behavior.
    Are they that way at their house?

    Sounds like with so many kids, they really don't discipline much. (or at all)

    If they can't respect you, and your rules now....they never will.

    NIP IT IN THE BUD!


    If anyone trashed my Disney stuff, there would be sheer hell to pay!
    Last edited by 3lilpigs; 05-09-2012 at 11:56 AM.

  4. #3
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Can I have everyone's opinion?
    Around here ?? You have to ask ?? we usually give our opinions if you want to hear them or not ...


    Quote Originally Posted by 3lilpigs View Post
    NO. They are your belongings, and it's YOUR house.

    Your house.........your rules.

    I never allowed it in my house when my nieces were little and they knew it.

    If they weren't going to behave and follow my rules, then they'd stay home. I don't go to their house and tear up their rooms.

    Are they that way at their house?

    If they can't respect you, and your rules now....they never will.

    NIP IT IN THE BUD!

    If anyone trashed my Disney stuff, there would be sheer hell to pay!
    :


    :
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    I think they are allowing their children to have undisciplined behavior. I think you need to say something not only for your benefit but for the benefit of the children too. If they are not taught right from wrong now what will happen in a few years. I understand that it must be hard to have that many kids but they still need to be taught respect for others and other's belongings. I know this won't be easy because most parents don't want to hear anything negative about their kids. Good luck.

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    I am in agreement with everyone here. This is your home, not a party center gymnasium. They need to respect your home. The toys are not only theirs, they are toys to be shared among your grandchildren and whomever you please to allow. Trashing them and your home is not an option.

    Just one more thing, can I come and stay in the princess room?
    Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....

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    SLance68's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone above - it is your house - your rules. My BFF has 5 kids that were all born within a 7 year span (last 2 were twins) and if they acted that way anywhere they would not like the rest of their day. Just to be clear they did not spank their kids but time out was torture for them as they hated it and it worked on them very well.

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    justme23's Avatar
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    Heck no that's not acceptable behavior for ANY child... any kid come in my house and act that way and they won't come back. My grandmother would have took a switch to us if we acted that way. She was awesome, most ppl yell at kids... my grandmother, the quieter she got you knew the switch was coming soon... if she got down to a whisper, it was inevitable... and whether my child liked it or not, I would certainly say something about it... he wasn't allowed to act that way, why would he think it would be ok for his children? I get that there's a lot of them and that can be stressful, but they should have thought of that before they had 'em.
    Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

    An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi

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    baragabrat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jolie Rouge View Post
    Around here ?? You have to ask ?? we usually give our opinions if you want to hear them or not ...




    :


    :

    LMAO! First thing I thought was 'you have to ask?' You'd get them even if you didn't want them like Jolie said.

    Anyhow, you have provided more than enough 'fun' for those kids. There is no reason they should be jumping on your furniture (well, there is no good reason a kid should be jumping on furniture.) It's obvious these kids think or know that they can get away with these behaviors (they do it at home?) I think it's time for granny to put her foot down and do some disciplining. And a frank talk with your son and his wife? Is that a possibility? I was wondering if both parents work. If so, maybe they're not getting enough attention at home and feel the need to act out to get it, even if it is negative.
    What Goes Around, Comes Around

  10. #9

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    Okay...thanks a bunch!

    Yes...they pretty much act that way at home as well. Both parents do work. My son is the music pastor at our church and our DIL is the assistant dean of curriculum at a Christian school I think that both parents are overwhelmed and want to make their time with the kids as stress-free as possible. But, I think that kids need structure, as well as a clear understanding of what's right and what's wrong behavior. I love my DIL a lot...she is a great and loving mother, but I think she is waaaaay to easy on the kids. She rarely says no. For example, the children aren't required to sit at the dining table until they are finished with dinner. They frequently get up and wander around. Aria...the 3 year-old little girl 'grazes'. And, she is constantly asking for sweets and treats and my DIL just doesn't say no. I have struggled with weight issues my entire life as has my DIL. I wouldn't wish that on any child but Aria will definitely have weight problems if her eating habits aren't controlled anytime soon.

    The twins are the worse right now. They are deliberately naughty but that is typical of 2 year-old's.

    You are right that we need to have a talk with at least our son. I'll have to see the right time to do that.

    And Pepperpot...you are more than welcome to come stay in my princess room.
    Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.

  11. #10
    3lilpigs's Avatar
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    Wish I had known about the Princess room when I was out there in December! LOL

    It would have fit in quite well..........my license plate says "It's not easy being a Princess!"

  12. #11
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    Kelsey it is your home so you & hubby are absolutely within your rights where it concerns your home. Did you allow your children to behave that way at that age...know you from on here I KNOW you didn't

    It is the rules & the manners you teach your (grand) child when they are young so that allows them the tools to cope when they grow older. It is hard to unteach bad habits when kids are in their teen years.

    If this behavior doesn't improve & would tell them that some of their toys will get donated. It that does not change things then go through with your promise & donate a few items
    Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

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