Thread: Dilema

  1. #1
    justme23's Avatar
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    Mar 2003
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    You have a 17 year old cousin... she is not your responsibility in any way... but, you know she is a liar, you know she sneaks out when she can and you know she could really care less about anyone except herself. She's being raised by her grandmother cause her mother was in prison for the majority of her life.

    She lies like aint nothin to it to her Nana but then she turns around and posts what she's been doing on facebook. Nana is on her list and COULD see this but cousin has it set to where Nana has to actually go to her page to see the posts. I keep an eye on the posts because I know how she is, I was that child... and generally I don't say anything cause while she is lying she's not usually doing things that could get her hurt or breaking a law or smoking or drugging and so I keep my nose out of it.

    However.... I noticed the other day she'd posted pictures from a club. It was teen night I guess. Well, we live in a large metro area and there aren't really any "safe" clubs for teens around here. I mean, they're in the news almost every week talking about ppl getting shot in parking lots. So... I stuck my nose in and told Nana. She asked her about it and cousin claimed it was next door to a church and that it was affiliated with it. Well I didn't know what to think so I started looking around and there's no way on God's green earth that this club is in any way part of a church. The last group that played there... they're on the homepage flashing gang signs. There's cursing all over the facebook page... it's just not a Church thing.

    Well, when nana finally got around to confronting her, cousin started throwing around a lot of eff yous and eff thats. Nana slapped her across the face, so cousin took the clothes on her back and her dog and left.

    So, the question here is... did I do the right thing in ratting her out or should I have stayed out of it? If this place didn't seem to bring the clientele that it does then maybe I could feel worse... but as it stands, I really feel like I was protecting her... so while I do feel bad, I'm not quite sure I should feel as bad as I do...

    Edited to add: I just found out she came home after a couple hours and she's ok. So I am happy to know that!
    Last edited by justme23; 05-18-2011 at 08:11 PM.
    Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

    An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi

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  3. #2
    Eyore's Avatar
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    Jan 2004
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    I think you did the right thing. Yes, you may feel like you ratted her out, but think of it like this. If you knew she was someplace she shouldn't have been and something happened to her you would feel guilty that you didn't say something sooner.
    If she left with her clothes on her back and dog, do you know where she went? She could end up in trouble doing that especially if she is on the street.

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    justme23 (05-19-2011)

  5. #3

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    Don't beat yorself up about this. Cousin may just have to go through some terrible times and grow up before she understands that having a loving home is better than being a wild child. She isn't the first kid to go through this, and she won't be the last. Some folks just need a huge case of growing up before they can "get it". Be available if your cousin asks for help. Just don't allow yourself of Nana to be the girls doormat. She's probably at a friends house. Her facebook page is the best place to keep tabs on her. Kids these days can't buy a pack of gum without posting about it.

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    justme23 (05-19-2011)

  7. #4
    cabby92's Avatar
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    You did what you thought was best at the time. That's all any of us can do. Good for you for caring that much.

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    justme23 (05-19-2011)

  9. #5

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    I believe you did the right thing. She needs to know that someone is watching out for her. Sometimes they just keep pushing the envelope until the adults push back.

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    justme23 (05-19-2011)

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