Thread: Is this too mean?

Yes, incredibly mean. Can you imagine if she got the message and rushed over and in her haste got in an accident or worse because her mind was elsewhere? You'd never be able to live with that. TBH If my mom did that to me I'd probably keep my distance. I agree with what Sandy said.

Originally Posted by buglebe

I have a daughter who never answers her phone. When I had a heart attack 4 yrs ago , my sister had to drive 30 miles to tell her. I am so sick of trying to reach her when I can't.

I want to get a message to her that her father has had a stroke , or that I've had another heart attack. or that her brother or sister have been hurt in an accident. No none of this has happened. But if it did we couldn't reach her. I want to do it just to be mean. Is this too mean?

You must be looking for a way to never hear from her again. What you mentioned wouldn't only piss a person off, it can possibly cause a person to never associate with you again, family or not.

Anyhow, When you go knocking on the wrong door you are bound to get what you are asking for. It can come back around and bite you in the arse big time.

Yes, that's mean. If u can't get a hold of her, then oh well. If she's misses knowing about an emergency or other family matter, then that's on her; maybe then she'll start answering her phone.

I never ever tell someone something has happened to my family if it is not true... hell I don't even call into work and use a sick kid as an excuse because I know that the second I say it, it will happen. It will definitely come back to bite you. Even if it didn't happen, it would definitely piss her off.

I can't understand why a parent would want to scare their own child like that. There are other ways to get your point across... like telling her the TRUTH

My youngest son is in the Army and is busy, but not too busy to talk to me as he has admitted. He used to call me every single day. Now he doesn't call at all. He has a 2 yr old and a wife and doesn't really like talking on the phone. Sobeit. I would like to hear from him more often. (I call him and it's like pulling teeth for a conversation.) When I email him, he almost never replies.

All that said, if that's how he wants it, that's how it is. I know that if there was an emergency, I could get hold of him but he never just wants to just chat on the phone with me or reply to an email. I have learned to accept this about him and love him anyhow.

I would never ever tell him that something was wrong if it wasn't...because do I love and respect him. It would be mean and unwise. He would probably never want to talk to me ever again, he would be so angry. And my other two would also be angry at such an act.

This would definitely alienate your daughter, Buglebe. Just accept it for what it is and love her anyhow. It will give you more peace of mind.

Originally Posted by pepperpot

Yes, I wouldn't do that....however tempting it may be.

Have you ever spoken with her about this?

Do you know any of her neighbors? Do a reverse address lookup, call her neighbor and ask her to please go across the street and have your daughter call you as she's not answering her phone. When you daughter gets annoyed, tell her you will do this again, even in a "non-emergency" is she refuses to answer the phone. Tell her to grow up and answer her damn phone or you will bother all her neighbors and she will be embarrassed.

I would advise against your solution. It is not her neighbors problem to babysit her daughter & pass along messages, that is her problem. Her daughter is an adult & doesn't need to be treated like a child.

If someone called my house asking me to go check on such and such - I'd tell them do it yourself and hang up.

Thanks for the answers. Yes I do think something like that would come back to bite me on the butt but I did get some good suggestions. Calling the sheriff to get them to contact her is a great idea. How do you do reverse address?
Thanks everyone so much. I sure opened a kettle of worms and everyone was emphatic about it! Thanks!