Thread: What would you do? (son's friend stole here)

Originally Posted by Anniston

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Well, hon, this is not Judge Judy. I posted on a rather anonymous Internet board about something that happened in my home, and the facts, as I saw them. You won't be hearing from the other boy, nor will I. I think you went too hard to play the other side just because you could.

I am not a person who repeatedly posts wrongs against my son. This happened and I sought advice. You went above and beyond with your alternate theory.

i will hand it to you, you are right...you told me something I did not want to hear. I did not want to hear it because I know my son is not lying. If it would tickle you I could send you paragraphs about times I knew he was wrong. this is not one of those times.

Not because I owe anyone anything here, I just want to further justify my stance. My son races motocross. In the Spring of 2009, he was blatantly taken out by another older racer, as my son passed him for the lead. I won't detail injury, but he was in ICU for 7 days. I would not allow for one second anyone, including my son, to talk about how he was taken out. It all sounded pretty clear to me how it happened, but I was not there, and I would not hear a bit of it. There was a thread on a local mx board, that I had pulled as it named the kid who "supposedly" took my boy out.

Then a family visited on day #4 in the ICU, with video footage of it...yes, DH, and DS, and countless others, were correct. It was a blatant take out. It was then that I knew it was true. (though I believed it all prior, just would not judge or name because I was not there)

So, for you to think that I am someone who takes my son's side immediately is b.s. In fact, this boy, who took my son out, is in kiss azz mode and has been since my son's first race back. And I have told everyone who remarks on it that as long as the boy is now civil, I am ok. I know what he did was a product of what his dad told him to do (also on video).

Everyone says, "He's only being supportive so he can be liked again."

I say, "So, what? He's a kid." So, please don't dare say that I am not fair. I just don't like anyone who steals from me.

NOTE: I know that kids racing motocross is a hot topic and that is why I will not debate this unless anyone has any constructive questions, and is not going to rip it up. MX was not the start of this thread.

First of all, don't call me hon -- rude, rude, rude.

I was actually trying to help you -- you posted something on a message board -- it's not Judge Judy but you asked for opinions -- - perhaps next time you should put in a disclaimer -- only reply if you are going to pat me on the back and tell me all nice things I want to hear.

Sheesh

Originally Posted by justme23

Anniston... there's no reason for you to have to keep justifying yourself. Some ppl just want to argue cause there's someone there to argue with.

You're right. I was so stupid to go into personal details (which is why I deleted some of my last post) just to prove a point. I went way too far to get a stranger to understand that sometimes parents just know.

Thank you to everyone who gave advice and understood that I did not need help deciphering the situation, but rather what to do. To the poster I butted heads with, I am sorry I did not let it go.

Originally Posted by Anniston

You're right. I was so stupid to go into personal details (which is why I deleted some of my last post) just to prove a point. I went way too far to get a stranger to understand that sometimes parents just know.

Thank you to everyone who gave advice and understood that I did not need help deciphering the situation, but rather what to do. To the poster I butted heads with, I am sorry I did not let it go.

I'm going to go into personal details for a moment -- last winter I received a call from another mother that my son had thrown ice chunks at her house and swore at her and her daughter -- now like any other mother I think my son is a good kid, if you asked around to anyone who knows him I have no doubt that they would all actually tell you he is an exceptional kid -- back to the story -- I asked her some details, when it happened etc -- from what she told me for him to do what she said was completely impossible -- when the incident occurred he was sleeping at a friends house clear across town, and not just any friends house, this kid practically has lojack on him, he's not allowed 2 feet off the apron strings -- knowing this, I thanked the person who called, told her I'd look into it and I actually did, I spoke to my son, I called the other boys parents who had also slept over, I called the mother of the boy who's house they slept at, I spoke to both boys he was with, and then back to the mother and daughter who called who decided it wasn't him after all -- even though I knew it was completely impossible, I did it all anyhow,even though he's a great kid, he's still a kid, and if I'm not there I don't know what he does with his friends, I could have easily have said "I know" but I didn't because it was the right and responsible thing to do.

I can't make you do the right thing, I can only offer advice but any parent who says

sometimes parents just know.

is just plain foolish, unless you are sitting there, at all times, you never know what your child is doing when you aren't there.

I wish you and your son well.

Originally Posted by Breezin

I'm going to go into personal details for a moment -- last winter I received a call from another mother that my son had thrown ice chunks at her house and swore at her and her daughter -- now like any other mother I think my son is a good kid, if you asked around to anyone who knows him I have no doubt that they would all actually tell you he is an exceptional kid -- back to the story -- I asked her some details, when it happened etc -- from what she told me for him to do what she said was completely impossible -- when the incident occurred he was sleeping at a friends house clear across town, and not just any friends house, this kid practically has lojack on him, he's not allowed 2 feet off the apron strings -- knowing this, I thanked the person who called, told her I'd look into it and I actually did, I spoke to my son, I called the other boys parents who had also slept over, I called the mother of the boy who's house they slept at, I spoke to both boys he was with, and then back to the mother and daughter who called who decided it wasn't him after all -- even though I knew it was completely impossible, I did it all anyhow,even though he's a great kid, he's still a kid, and if I'm not there I don't know what he does with his friends, I could have easily have said "I know" but I didn't because it was the right and responsible thing to do.

I can't make you do the right thing, I can only offer advice but any parent who says is just plain foolish, unless you are sitting there, at all times, you never know what your child is doing when you aren't there.

I wish you and your son well.

What I get from this is that you knew in your heart that it was not your son, but you went through the motions to call around and verify....yes?

Anniston is saying, she knows in her heart that her son is telling the truth about what happened....yes?

She didn't fly off the handle calling and making a big ruckus. She came here to vent at the frustrations of parenthood. I get that. She pretty much knew what she was going to do about it before she posted and even said so. Perhaps hearing other opinions may have changed her mind a bit?

I actually posted in disagreement with her of what she should do and what I felt should be done. I did not pat her on the back. I understand where she's coming from and in life one must prioritize and pick one's battles.

Originally Posted by pepperpot

What I get from this is that you knew in your heart that it was not your son, but you went through the motions to call around and verify....yes?

Anniston is saying, she knows in her heart that her son is telling the truth about what happened....yes?

She didn't fly off the handle calling and making a big ruckus. She came here to vent at the frustrations of parenthood. I get that. She pretty much knew what she was going to do about it before she posted and even said so. Perhaps hearing other opinions may have changed her mind a bit?

I actually posted in disagreement with her of what she should do and what I felt should be done. I did not pat her on the back. I understand where she's coming from and in life one must prioritize and pick one's battles.

sadly you missed the point entirely - point is although I felt it wasn't possible -- I didn't KNOW -- you can't KNOW unless you are there. What if my son and the boys went to another friends house at some point that night, what if they snuck out --what if ?? although I *think* he's a good kid when he's with his friends I don't KNOW -- a responsible parent does the right thing -- they don't sit on their hands and KNOW.

She didn't just vent -- she asked opinions -- I gave mine.

Originally Posted by Breezin

sadly you missed the point entirely - point is although I felt it wasn't possible -- I didn't KNOW -- you can't KNOW unless you are there. What if my son and the boys went to another friends house at some point that night, what if they snuck out --what if ?? although I *think* he's a good kid when he's with his friends I don't KNOW -- a responsible parent does the right thing -- they don't sit on their hands and KNOW.

She didn't just vent -- she asked opinions -- I gave mine.

even though I knew it was completely impossible, I did it all anyhow,even though he's a great kid, he's still a kid, and if I'm not there I don't know what he does with his friends,

you knew in your heart that it was not your son, but you went through the motions to call around and verify....yes?

Didn't miss the point....I pointed it out....you went through the motions knowing what you would find.

Originally Posted by pepperpot

Didn't miss the point....I pointed it out....you went through the motions knowing what you would find.

Uhm the point is I didn't KNOW what I would find -- I wasn't with him -- I thought, I hoped, but I couldn't KNOW.

Listen folks -- done banging my head here -- my opinion is obviously not valid -- I'll move along.