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  1. #23
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    Pepper, you asked the ages: 11
    That is younger than what I thought, but I still feel the same if not moreso. He's at an age where this behavior needs to be nipped/addressed before it goes onto bigger things, etc.

    I am amazed that this kid's mother is not more friendly with you. I know with my kids, I make sure I am friendly with the other mothers/family before my kids spend time at their homes, etc.
    Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....

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  3. #24
    Anniston's Avatar
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    Ah, pepper, don't get me started on that topic! I am forever baffled by parents who are willing to let their kids get into cars with parents they don't know. My son is always the odd man out when I say no to play dates and sleep overs when I don't know the parents.

    On my son's sixth birthday party, we invited most everyone in the class. I was amazed at how they did not know me, yet most had to be prompted to even leave a contact number for me. I think the only reason most of them even came to the door was to verify a pick up time!

    This summer has been a whole new world of play friends to us as the boys are more mobile on their bikes (allowed to bike farther than before) so the kids are hanging out more with kids they only saw during school before.

    Pepper, you are right, I should talk to the mom. But I won't. I just don't want any drama around it. Maybe it is all over, but here, parents just seem to be so protective/defensive of their kids. For example, my son began hanging with a new boy, a year older, and on the day of the World Cup final, they boy wanted my son and two other boys to come over. All three declined because they wanted to watch the world cup. The boy who was to be the host told all the boys that they could come over and watch with him. Well, they all arrived, cozied up to the tv, and were then told by the host's mother that they were not being good guests since they were forcing Isiah to do something he did not want to do. That is typical of the types of parents around here.

    I am of the school of "if you see my kid doing wrong, feel free to tell him and/or me." Whenever my son hangs with someone new, I encourage parents to feel free to correct him. But that is absolutely not the norm these days around here, especially.
    We had us, we had him, now we have everything.

  4. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anniston View Post
    I thought I gave both sides pretty accurately?

    Breezin, I think your doubts about my son exemplify why I am timid to discuss this matter with the boy's mother. You don't know my son, and you found it suspicious. She does not know my son and may have gone the same direction in thinking. I know my son is not perfect, but I also feel confident in my ability to read him, and he did not do anything wrong here.

    I think this excerpt from what I posted is what leaves you puzzled: How it happened is that when D was here, he had the bracelet on in my son's room and said to my son, "Do you want this? I don't want it anymore." My son said no. That was three days ago.

    1. My son said he didn't want the bracelet when he thought it was actually the boy's.
    2. He noticed it three days later, but had been showering at the Y after swimming with his trainer, and I had showered at the Y after morning workouts. DH showered here those three days, but he wouldn't have known from the man on the moon about that package.
    3. TMI, but we potty mostly in the downstairs bathroom.

    If my son thought he wanted the bracelet or something, he would have just said something to me. After all, he did ask if the boy could have that jersey. To which, I agreed. I should have added that the jersey was not the only thing he asked for. He also asked if he could have a pair of shoes, a hoodie and a game.

    I know, I know, don't post something if I am not prepared to hear something I don't want to hear. But I never thought that my son's behavior would be in question. Just when I posted this, I was pretty upset because I would like to think that I can leave "pocket-able" things around the house without fear of theft. However, I learned from this. And with many parents having more kids than normal about the house due to it being summer, maybe it is a good experience for them to hear about as well.

    Pepper, you asked the ages: 11

    To the poster (sorry your name escapes me) who made sure I complimented my son, I did. Thank you.
    No you gave your sons side of the story, you never bothered to ask the other boys side of the story.

    I think YOU exemplify the very kind of mother you do not want to confront -- "not my kid -- I know my kid, I can read my kid"

    You asked what would I do -- before I labeled anyone a thief or spread horrible rumors about them, I would actually get their side of the story.

    He's 11 years old, maybe he wants this kid to really like him for whatever reason and he offered the kid the bracelet and then had second thoughts -- you don't know because you never asked the other boy.
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  5. #26
    Anniston's Avatar
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    Sometimes things are obvious. Had this boy wanted the bracelet, I know my son would have just asked me. Or if my son was going to disregard me altogether, he would have given it (though so doubtful) and just never said anything. I never would have missed it, probably, and my son knew that, most likely.

    You do recall the description of the bracelet? In case you do not, I will remind you....it was a generic plastic bracelet (like those yellow Lance Armstrong Live Strong ones, only multi colored and generic) I bought a slew of them on clearance, because my son races motocross, and I like to keep little trinkets in my pockets at the races to give to the little sisters of racers when they are just sitting around, bored. I am running out of them now, and had this one as it was intended for a certain daughter of a friend of mine at the last race they were at, and I just did not give it to her. But my son did not know what this particular one was for, so please don't say he had reason to lie because he knew I meant it for someone.

    Plus, don't you think that, even without knowing my son, you could fairly think that if he would ask about the jersey and got a yes, he would not feel any qualms about asking about the bracelet?

    I agree with you that both sides should be heard in stories. But with this one, I feel 100% confident in knowing that I am not in the wrong for taking my son's word. Do I take this course with every matter? Absolutely not. But I think that I would be a rather bad parent if there were not times when I just know how to read it right. And this is one of those times.

    I would never have posed this question online had I doubted my son. If there was a matter I felt strong enough to post about online, I would admit..."hey, my son may be lying..." But not this time.

    And if you think that I am one of those parents who says, not my kid....well, I am not. I know and recognize that he has his faults.

    Just as an FYI, I have decided to stay mum to everyone about this. Even sans an online poster's doubts about my son, I had a bad feeling that this mom would react the same way you did. I have no way of knowing if she would have hunted his room for it, or if he tossed it on his bike ride home. It just was not worth it to me.
    We had us, we had him, now we have everything.

  6. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anniston View Post

    Plus, don't you think that, even without knowing my son, you could fairly think that if he would ask about the jersey and got a yes, he would not feel any qualms about asking about the bracelet? .
    Which is another reason why the story is fishy -- if he could ask for all those other things -- why not the cheapie bracelet?



    Quote Originally Posted by Anniston View Post

    And if you think that I am one of those parents who says, not my kid....well, I am not.
    .
    Uhm you just did.


    You wanted honest opinions--I gave you one, sorry I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear.
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  7. #28
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    duplicate can't figure out how to delete!
    Last edited by Breezin; 07-27-2010 at 06:31 PM. Reason: duplicate
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  8. #29
    pepperpot's Avatar
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    So if this kid had no qualms asking for all of those expensive things why not the cheapie bracelet? doesn't make sense.
    The other things were in an area with her son..... The bracelet was on her night stand. Would he say to her son, "Can I have the bracelet on your mother's nightstand?" How would he explain why he was snooping around in his mother's room, much less now asking for something of his mothers?

    I tend to believe Anniston's son, but that's just me.
    Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....

  9. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by pepperpot View Post
    The other things were in an area with her son..... The bracelet was on her night stand. Would he say to her son, "Can I have the bracelet on your mother's nightstand?" How would he explain why he was snooping around in his mother's room, much less now asking for something of his mothers?

    I tend to believe Anniston's son, but that's just me.
    According to the story he's a pretty nervy kid -- probably wouldn't phase him in the least -- because you think it's wrong to go into a parents bedroom doesn't mean he was brought up that way.

    I don't know either of the boys -- I can't believe one or the other without hearing from both of them
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  10. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Breezin View Post
    According to the story he's a pretty nervy kid -- probably wouldn't phase him in the least -- because you think it's wrong to go into a parents bedroom doesn't mean he was brought up that way.

    I don't know either of the boys -- I can't believe one or the other without hearing from both of them

    Well, hon, this is not Judge Judy. I posted on a rather anonymous Internet board about something that happened in my home, and the facts, as I saw them. You won't be hearing from the other boy, nor will I. I think you went too hard to play the other side just because you could.

    I am not a person who repeatedly posts wrongs against my son. This happened and I sought advice. You went above and beyond with your alternate theory.

    i will hand it to you, you are right...you told me something I did not want to hear. I did not want to hear it because I know my son is not lying. If it would tickle you I could send you paragraphs about times I knew he was wrong. this is not one of those times.
    Last edited by Anniston; 07-28-2010 at 06:48 AM.
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  11. #32
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    Anniston... there's no reason for you to have to keep justifying yourself. Some ppl just want to argue cause there's someone there to argue with.
    Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

    An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi

  12. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by justme23 View Post
    Anniston... there's no reason for you to have to keep justifying yourself. Some ppl just want to argue cause there's someone there to argue with.
    Oh puhleeeze -- she wants to label a kid a thief and spread it around town yet never hear his side of the story and you want to say something about ME??

    All I keep saying is that it doesn't add up -- and it doesn't -- if you all want to pat her on the back and tell her she's right, go ahead, but going on and on about how great her son is and not wanting to hear the other child's side -- she IS one of those parents -- she never expected her son to be in question -- I guess that's probably how that other boys mother feels too. She didn't want to say anything fearing the other mother would jump to the defense -- just like she did.

    Sometimes another perspective helps people, sometimes it doesn't -- in this case it's clear it doesn't.
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