Need Advice...Kinda long..sorry

**Hetty** · 06-01-2010, 07:47 AM

I have a 6 yr old step daughter and I have had a terrible time this weekend with her eating habits I don't know if this is normal heres the story...

When we picked her up on friday we had Mcdonalds she had 6 nuggets and fries(all of hers and half of mine) about an 30mmins later she wanted something else she had a yogurt and fruit snacks..she then wanted a bowl of cereal..Bed time..The next morning she had cereal a toaster strudel and fruit snacks.Lunch she had chicken nuggets and apples with a big glass of milk she proceeded to cry because she wanted more food I gave her a soft pretzel and cheese..for dinner she had a hamburger and veggies about 1hour later she was throwing a fit because she wanted more I gave her yogurt and sunchips...Bed time..Breakfast was toaster strudel and fruit..snack...lunch was french fries and fruit snack....dinner she ate 5!hotdogs and two helpings of mac and cheese.....and then wanted more by 7 that night I gave her a soft pretzel and cheese and right before bed ate 9 she wanted fruit snacks..bed time..this morning...two bowls of cereal...sandwich and chips..fuit snacks..I have not made her lunch yet thats just in the past 3 hours..

I know that kids eat alot but should I be concerned that she is eating so much so often these are not kid size portions if I give her kid sized helpings she throws a fit..I don't want to say no wen she ask for food but I don't want her to develope bad eating habits and have health problems because of it.Then thing that I am wondering is it normal for a child to want to eat as often as her I mean she literally was eating every hour or so I told her no a few times and made her wait I was afraid she was going to vomit she ate so much..Oh and she eats extremely fast I have to watch her and tell her to slow down she was just shoveling the food in until her cheeks were full....

Could she have some sort of eating disorder a an early age?
I don' know I feel silly for asking..but I am concerned about how fast ans how often she eats?Is this a silly concern?

**Advertisement** · 06-01-2010 07:47 AM

**Breezin** · 06-01-2010, 08:00 AM

I'll start out by saying everyone is different.

That said, at 6 years old that would have been quite a bit of food for my kids, is she over weight?

Is she eating because she is bored or because it kind of forces someone to pay attention to her?

Is it possible to ask her mom what her normal eating habits are like?

If she is going to eat like that I would try to steer her toward better choices.

**cabby92** · 06-01-2010, 08:19 AM

One of our foster kids had eating problems because mom had not kept enough food in the house and the child learned to eat when it was available. When she came to us she would eat until she was sick and we'd find old food hidden in her room. Her counselors said to not make a big deal out of it and she would eventually learn better habits. It worked but it took over a year and she'd still over eat when stressed.

I'm not saying that is your SD's problem, just showing that kids can have eating problems at a young age (this girl was nearly five when she came to us). We got healthier food for her to eat so at least she wasn't eating so much junk.

**pepperpot** · 06-01-2010, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Breezin

If she is going to eat like that I would try to steer her toward better choices.

It's difficult to assess as you are the step parent who is probably not with her all the time and not there on doctor visits.

If this were my child where I had full custody......I'd be in the pediatrician's office in a heart beat.....that eating style just does not sound healthy, something sounds 'off'.

**Hetty** · 06-01-2010, 08:36 AM

She is not really over weight she is "chunky" She is about 60 lbs which the doctor said was good..As far as her mom she says she eats like that at home as well...I try to get her to eat healthier things..But it is like pulling teeth from a hungry gator. I am just afraid that this is going to start a downward spiral with her..She has been spoile and pampered for so long by her dad and his parents and now they are frustrated with her and her behavior and its up to me to correct...Imagine that. I try to get her to eat the things I do which are healthy but if I give salad or veggies instead of fries or chips she will keep asking for them in turn makes me angry and I end up mad and frustrated at her I am just at my wits end with this.

**Hetty** · 06-01-2010, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by pepperpot

It's difficult to assess as you are the step parent who is probably not with her all the time and not there on doctor visits.

If this were my child where I had full custody......I'd be in the pediatrician's office in a heart beat.....that eating style just does not sound healthy, something sounds 'off'.

That is what I kept telling her dad and mom and grandparents..I told them its not right for her to eat like this she has been like this since she was 3 or so.She would go for a week or so where she would eat normally and then like a month or so she would "binge"eat I give her vitamins to make sure she is getting what she needs.

**pepperpot** · 06-01-2010, 08:43 AM

Did you ever let her help prepare her snacks/meals? This may entice her to be more interested in healthier things.

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/cook...r-food-714775/

Get her involved with cooking and creating.....just supply healthy ingredients.

more.... http://www.bellybytes.com/recipes/cooking4kids.shtml

**Hetty** · 06-01-2010, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by pepperpot

Did you ever let her help prepare her snacks/meals? This may entice her to be more interested in healthier things.

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/cook...r-food-714775/

Get her involved with cooking and creating.....just supply healthy ingredients.

more.... http://www.bellybytes.com/recipes/cooking4kids.shtml

I will try that she has helped before,but she got bored and was done.I will see if these recipes work might keep her interested.thank you

**BeanieLuvR** · 06-01-2010, 11:19 AM

The first thing that came to my mind was she was eating like that at your house because she was not getting enough to eat at home but then you said she eats the same way there so that can't be the problem. It is great that you are so concerned about her.

Honestly I think it needs to be discussed with her pediatrician. There might be a physical problem causing it. It sounds like it is setting her up for weight problems later in life. I think her behavior needs to be modified but all of her family(mom,dad,grandparents) would have to be onboard. As much as you want to help it will take a group effort. She's lucky to have you to want to help. Maybe if you can get her dad to see she needs help he can try to get her mom and grandparents to see it. Good luck. I feel for the kid. I have battled a weight problem all of my life because of how I ate as a kid. I too was babied and allowed to eat whatever I wanted. My cousin says she can remember one night I wouldn't eat dinner then before bed my mom brought me in a giant piece of chocolate cake because she didn't want me to go to bed hungry. Her mom's rule was no eaty no treaty and she has always been as thin as a rail.

**janelle** · 06-01-2010, 01:05 PM

From one step mom to another I can give the advice of not making this your problem. If your husband is not on board there is not much you can do. I would have a talk with hubby telling him she is his daughter and he needs to step up and help. It's ok to tell him what you need him to do in private but don't take over in front of the daughter. I hope he takes what you say seriously.

Being a step parent can be tricky. Her parents need to set the rules. If they won't try to help her eat more healthy then don't have any unhealthy snacks in the house, only good ones. At least if she must eat all the time it she will be eating healthy things. Then exercise with her. Take her swimming or biking, etc.

Just do not make this your problem or you will get caught in the middle.

**jedmatters** · 06-01-2010, 01:21 PM

My 9 year old step son eats like that: only double it.
It scares me.
He will throw fits to get a double quater pounder meal super sized. His mom buys it... I do not.

Luckily: we have custody.. so I just have to undo what she does in short sessions.

But he lived this way for 7 years, eating whatever he threw a fit for.
He can eat a large full bag of cheetos in one sitting.
I banned chips, cookies, and junk. I brought in fresh fruit, raisins, and healthier snacks. He now says I am trying to starve him.
He is required to eat 9 bites of everything on his plate (veggies are the battle: because I do not fry them.. )
He told me 2 slices of homemade pizza were not enough for him at lunch: he is the kind of kid that can eat alot. I said: No you were that kind of kid: now you are my boy.
Luckily, his dad agrees with me. And we are strugglingthrough the damage already done.
He is 9 and stand 4 foot 6, weighs 102. YES: I have him in scouts, karate, and we got him a bike. I have no meat days, and only one red meat a week rules.
He is adjusting: but it will help him in the long run.

Remember: you are the adult. If you have issues: stand your ground on it: and try to get her busy with other things.

Thread: Need Advice...Kinda long..sorry

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