Thread: Help! How Do You Deal With Girls

Mothers of girls, how do you deal with them? I am talking early 20's. My ds g/f, I like her I really do, but dang the mood swings!
My ds was cooking dinner on Tuesday & she came over. I was laying on the couch watching TV with my pillow & blankie because I had a sinus headache. I said "Hi Honey" when she walked into the house & she walked straight into my son's room. He came out & asked me why I gave her the evil eye when she came in.
Last Saturday she was mad at me because I wouldn't allow her to sleep-over my house. My home...my rules. She lives 5 miles away from us so no reason to spend the night. She was so mad she decided to not come over for pizza but kept calling my son's cell every 2 minutes to whine. He shut his phone off so she starts calling the house phone.
Today she is upset with me because I said no to her spending the night before they go on vacation at my house. She doesn't want to disturb her family because they leave so early. Ok by that time her sister will have graduated high school, her Mom works for the school district so she won't be working & her Dad is on SSI. I have to go to work so it is ok to wake me up at 4 AM???
Okay, how do I deal with this?

Lord, lets hope he doesn't marry her! yikes! Early 20s? She can get an apt of her own and they can have sleepovers there! Your house, your rules.

It sounds to me like she is trying to alienate your son from you. I say tell your son she is trying to make mountains out of mole hills and if she continues to act in this manner, not only will she not be welcome to spend the night, but she will no longer be welcome in your home. She is disrespecting you, and you need to nip it in the bud now.

I would be really po'd that she lied and said you acted toward her in a way you did not(the stink eye comment).

Originally Posted by Quaker_Parrots

It sounds to me like she is trying to alienate your son from you. I say tell your son she is trying to make mountains out of mole hills and if she continues to act in this manner, not only will she not be welcome to spend the night, but she will no longer be welcome in your home. She is disrespecting you, and you need to nip it in the bud now.

I would be really po'd that she lied and said you acted toward her in a way you did not(the stink eye comment).

This is exactly what I wouldn't do -- if your son winds up marrying this girl you will have harmed your relationship with her forever.

I would talk with your son and say "you know I would never do that I really like _____ " and as far as she goes just hope it's a phase smile, and work through it, you know you didn't give her the evil eye -- if sleeping over comes up again just say "_______ don't be upset you know we don't allow that at our house"

My Daughter is just 13... But my son is 20 (almost 21)

He had a girl like that once. I treated her like she was a golden angel. Covered her with sweetness. Even though inside... I loathed her!
She would ask to say over: No. I do not allow that here. But you are welcome to have dinner and watch movies here, etc.
She even told him I was mean to her because I would not let them be ADULTS.
He asked me, and I said that I did say NO to her staying over. But that I guess she took it wrong. I never accsed her of being a liar, just misunderstanding. It was easier.
When she started telling him to avoid friends he had had since he was 4.. the shat hit the fin. She said she did not trust them, especially P (a girl he has been friends with longer than anyone else). He was told never to see her, or to pick P or his girlfriend (by the girlfriend). She also handed him a LIST of peopel he needed to stop talking to.
That pretty much did it.

I stayed back, was overly nice to her, and let her do herself in. I knew it was coming... but boys think with hormones, not their hearts or brains OFTEN!
It will happen, trust me

Originally Posted by Quaker_Parrots

It sounds to me like she is trying to alienate your son from you. I say tell your son she is trying to make mountains out of mole hills and if she continues to act in this manner, not only will she not be welcome to spend the night, but she will no longer be welcome in your home. She is disrespecting you, and you need to nip it in the bud now.

I would be really po'd that she lied and said you acted toward her in a way you did not(the stink eye comment).

As the mother of 5 girls, I agree with QP! She sounds VERY immature and I don't tolerate liars very well.

I think that girl sounds selfish and immature and I hope your son has some sense and doesn't hang onto her. I agree with Quaker, sounds like she is trying to alienate your son from you, you guys must be close and she's jealous.

I have 2 girls and a daughter in law. I know my advise is different from everyone else's and heavens knows I don't have the answers. I have been on here asking how to get my daughter in law to care more about me but I think you just have to learn to deal. Yes the girl is immature but she is in her early 20's. I can look back and see some pretty juvenile thoughts I had at that age. Maybe it is insecurity and jealousy on her part. Of course it is hormones too. And not just hers to deal with , but yours and your sons too. Bless his heart, your son is the one in the middle of it. And until he gets his fill of her, he is going to believe what she says. Yes he is. Even though you are his mom and you raised him. This is the way of the world. Men leave their mothers and go to their wives eventually. If they don't, then that is a problem. So assume this girl is going to be your daughter in law, I doubt she will, but just assume she will and treat her that way. Stand your ground about your rules but still be polite to her as you are doing.