Thread: Funny

This is so funny it has to
be true!


The
IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to
the IRS office.

The
IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
showed up with his
attorney.

The
auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an
extravagant lifestyle and no full-time
employment, Which you explain by saying that you
win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds
that
believable.'

I'm
a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says
Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'

The
auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go
ahead.'

Grandpa
says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I
can bite my own
eye.'

The
auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a
bet.'

Grandpa
removes his glass eye and bites it. The
auditor's jaw
drops.

Grandpa
says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
that I can bite my other
eye.'

Now
the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he
takes the
bet.

Grandpa
removes his dentures and bites his good
eye.

The
stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a
witness. He starts to get
nervous.

'Want
to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet
you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one
side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere
in
between.'

The
auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
looks carefully and decides there's no way this
old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees
again.

Grandpa
stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the
stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the
auditor's
desk.

The
auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
just turned a major loss into a huge
win.

But
Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head
in his
hands.

'Are
you okay?' the auditor
asks.

'Not
really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when
Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and pee all over your desk
and that you'd be happy about
it!'

Don't
Mess with Old
People!