Parenting question for you

**Tasha405** · 03-14-2007, 08:05 PM

Would you (or have you) let your teens curse in front of you if they want to? I'm talking like 13 to 15 yr olds.

The reason I ask is because Chris had a friend over today and they were in the kitchen eating when another teen pulled into our driveway and was yelling for Chris' friend to come outside. He didn't even bother to get out or even blow the horn, thats a whole other story though. lol Anyway, the boys were starting to walk back into the living room and I told the boy that someone was outside for him and when he walks by me and says "what the hell man?". I then told him to watch his mouth. I mean I don't allow my kids to curse around me and I sure wouldn't allow any other kids to do it either. He just kinda looks at me funny and walks out and then Chris informs me that this boys mom has allowed him to curse and has no problem with it. I for one have a problem with a child cursing in front of me. I curse and this may be the pot calling the kettle black but I'm an adult, they are just kids! So its kinda like do as I say, not as I do. lol

I know I can't control every single thing my child does but that does not mean I give into them and just let them do whatever they want, in front of me, because they may do it when they are away from me. Know what I mean?

I know my son curses when he's not around me or thinks I'm not around. Not only have I heard him when he thought I wasn't around but he's also told me that he does. I told him he will not be cursing around me until he's AT LEAST an adult. He said that was stupid and something about freedom of speech. I told him freedom of speech was when and how I said it was going to be until he is either 18 or living on his own. LOL

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this? Would you allow your 13+ year old to curse around you and give them permission to do so?

**Advertisement** · 03-14-2007 08:05 PM

**evrita** · 03-14-2007, 08:18 PM

Oh no I have one and if she curses she is grounded.

***ahippiechic*** · 03-14-2007, 08:21 PM

I curse, I smoke and also drink on occaision. But I am an adult, and we get to do things that children (& teens) don't. It wasn't acceptable for my kids to curse...anywhere. And none of their friends are going to sit in MY house and curse in front of me. My house...my rules, no matter what his mom lets him do elsewhere. If he doesn't like your rules, he can stay away.

**suprtruckr** · 03-14-2007, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Tasha405

I told him freedom of speech was when and how I said it was going to be until he is either 18 or living on his own.

i would amend that to say "when he is living on his own" not at age 18 as long as he's under your roof LOL but... sounds like it's time for a toothbrush and some dish soap

**killbarney** · 03-14-2007, 08:35 PM

I'd tell the kid he is more than welcome to curse in his own home but it's not allowed in yours. Stand by your rules. Your home.

**Trishntx** · 03-14-2007, 08:40 PM

My 21 year old still won't curse around me, or basically anyone else for that matter. He has good manners and tries not to offend.

**Jolie Rouge** · 03-14-2007, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by ahippiechic

I curse, I smoke and also drink on occaision. But I am an adult, and we get to do things that children (& teens) don't. It wasn't acceptable for my kids to curse...anywhere. And none of their friends are going to sit in MY house and curse in front of me. My house...my rules, no matter what his mom lets him do elsewhere. If he doesn't like your rules, he can stay away.

I agree. It is a matter of respect - if he can't respect your house and your rules, he can leave.

I am 40+ and I *still* don't curse in front of my mom....

**Kyla Kym** · 03-14-2007, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Jolie Rouge

I agree. It is a matter of respect - if he can't respect your house and your rules, he can leave.

I am 40+ and I *still* don't curse in front of my mom....

41 here and I still won't curse in front of my parents. I have way to much respect for them. My son is 19 and is hot headed. He occasionally lets one slip in front of me and I still get onto him for it. He always apologizes to me though. His friends have never said anything out of line in front of me. Most of them are very polite to me. When they are in town they will even come by the store just to visit with me and ask how my husband and I are doing.

So I totally agree with you Tasha, don't let them think they can act that way, and they won't.

**Fred12** · 03-14-2007, 11:19 PM

I am 53 and still don't curse in front of my parents. My kids didn't curse in front of me until they were adults and out on their own. I would not have allowed it.

**Kimberly61** · 03-15-2007, 12:28 AM

well, I am gonna be the odd ball here I guess lol I have a 17yr old stepdaughter, a 16yr old daughter and in certain situations yes I do let them curse in front of me. For example, if they are upset about something and they need to talk I am always there for them and they can speak their mind and if cursing is involved with them letting out some anger then I understand and allow it, because I have always left it open that when they needed someone they could always go to I would be there regardless of what they had on their mind. Another example is when we have a girls night, that night is special and reserved for girlfriends and they always include me so that one night I am not the mother or the adult I am a friend that got invited and they always treat me like a friend they respect, in fact I am considered one of their best friends. They dont curse every other word to make themselves look cool, but when they get angry about something then yes curse words do coming flying out of their mouths and I listen to the problem not the cursing.

I also agree with others that it is your home and you have your rules and anyone that comes into your home should abide by them and if they dont then you should make it clear that either they abide or say goodbye!

**Kyla Kym** · 03-15-2007, 01:04 AM

Originally Posted by Kimberly61

well, I am gonna be the odd ball here I guess lol I have a 17yr old stepdaughter, a 16yr old daughter and in certain situations yes I do let them curse in front of me. For example, if they are upset about something and they need to talk I am always there for them and they can speak their mind and if cursing is involved with them letting out some anger then I understand and allow it, because I have always left it open that when they needed someone they could always go to I would be there regardless of what they had on their mind. Another example is when we have a girls night, that night is special and reserved for girlfriends and they always include me so that one night I am not the mother or the adult I am a friend that got invited and they always treat me like a friend they respect, in fact I am considered one of their best friends. They don't curse every other word to make themselves look cool, but when they get angry about something then yes curse words do coming flying out of their mouths and I listen to the problem not the cursing.

I also agree with others that it is your home and you have your rules and anyone that comes into your home should abide by them and if they don't then you should make it clear that either they abide or say goodbye!

One of the main reasons I never wanted my son to curse is because of something my father told me once. He said that one of his college professors said that only a uneducated person uses curse words, because they can't think of a better word to use in it's place. I always think about that and I've tried to stress that to my son because if you think about it, it really does make allot of sense.

Also cursing is such a bad habit, and it's hard to break once you get on a role. I've worked with people that just about every word out of their mouth is filthy and I soon pick up the bad habit from hearing it all the time.

When I was 16 I picked up a potty mouth big time from my boyfriend's 18 year old sister, and I'll never forget this man who I really looked up to telling me that he wished I wouldn't talk that way because it wasn't lady like. I felt about 2" tall. So I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe you should consider teaching them how other's might view them if they talk that way, and also maybe you could teach them that they can still vent their anger without cursing. I just think it's our responsibility as parents to try and protect & prepare our children as best we can for how others might view them. Then once they are adults then let them decide if they want to talk that way.
But that's just my opinion on what you had to say.

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