Thread: hoping to releive some stress by writing it down.

Do you realize how this sounds? You have a woman you don't neccessarily like and can't talk to who's living in your home and taking advantage of you and you're letting her do it! It's up to YOU to do something about it. You may p*ss your hubby and his mother off but they'll get over it. You have to look out for you and your kids first. What about talking to her husband and explaining the situation to him?

Originally Posted by Mummyof3

I do not know why she is not living with her dh and why she moved up here. Dh's family is quiet keeps to themselves about problems. I have asked several times and she either changes the subject or gives a answer that is not really an answer I guess she talks her way around the issue.
I have made comments to her saying money is tight,when the kids have asked to do stuff I have told them no and then went on to explain to her that dh has not gotten over time and money is tight and we have no extra. She does not care enough to offer help.
As for my dh being the boss no he is not but it is his mom and I have said all that I feel comfortable saying to her. I have been with dh for 13 yrs never felt comfortable enough to call her mom she is not a warm person or someone easy to talk to. You have to drag things out of her to carry on a conversation. I agree she needs to help us and I have made comments to her and gotten no response.

I understand you not being comfortable with her. God knows I'll never call my MIL 'mom,' but this is an issue of standing up for yourself and your family...no matter who else is involved. In essence, she's hurting you guys and you need to do something about it before it goes any further. I know you said you 'made comments' around or to her, but that's just giving both you and her the easy way to do things. Easy for you because you're less uncomfortable. Easy for her to just ignore your comments or pretend she doesn't really understand what you're trying to say. Stop beating around the bush and just tell her point blank that something's got to change. She can't avoid or talk around someone saying 'pay up or move out' (but not in those words).

Your #1 duty is to care for your own children and your husband.

Your next #2 duty is the MIL.

MIL needs to be told bluntly, that $XXX is needed to pay for XXXX
and you need it on payday this Friday.

And that for grocery money you need $XXX by next Friday.

Can you get on WIC or Food stamps?

MIL needs to be told very clearly that she needs to start paying
her fair share. It's going to be up to you, since your DH won't handle it.