Thread: Christmas form Letter for those who have not sent one yet

"Dear ___Mom ___Dad ___Sibling ___Niece ___Nephew ___Whatever:

"We had a ___wonderful ___maudlin ___okey-dokey ___forgettable year. We are still ___well ___happy ___catatonic ___divorced ___inebriated as we were last year.

"Little (name of precocious child here) ___graduated ___flunked out ___sprung bail and wants to become ___a doctor ___a lawyer ___a pro athlete ___a lap dancer ___a crack addict, if the job market permits. We all think he/she's got the ___drive ___talent ___inheritance ___connections to do it!

"(Name of significant other), as you know, is still ___working ___unemployed ___institutionalized and was recently ___promoted ___demoted ___weaned off medication.

"This year, we got a new ___dog ___cat ___house ___dependent ___monster truck with a hemi (sweet) ___lawsuit and we ___couldn't be happier ___have regretted it ever since ___should be done paying for it within the next 25-50 years.

"After much planning, we finally ___took a family vacation ___remodeled the kitchen ___cleaned the closet. Boy, was that exciting! We wish you could have been there! Then we wouldn't have had to ___write about it ___think about it ___do it.

"Well, time to go now, because ___the cookies are burning ___the dog is peeing ___the creditors are knocking ___ (significant other) is passed out ___all of the above.

"We wish you all a ___Merry Christmas ___Happy Hanukkah ___Joyous Kwanzaa ___Blessed Solstice ___Politically Correct Inclusive Holiday and a ___Happy New Year ___Good Attorney ___Safe Hideout in Another Country.

"___Love ___Best wishes ___Send Money,

"(your name here)"