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    The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    PITTSBURGH, Nov. 29, 2004 – In 1984, after all the receipts were added up, the cost of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” would have set you back $12,623– the goods alone accounting for 62 percent of your total bill. Today, the numbers tell a different story. The total cost has climbed to $17,297, a 1.6 percent annualized increase over 20 years, but services now account for 74 percent of the index, indicating a steady rise in the cost of skilled labor while the price of two turtle doves and three French hens may be a little easier on your wallet.

    Every year since 1984, PNC Advisors has provided a tongue-in-cheek economic analysis, based on the cost of goods and services purchased by the True Love in the holiday classic, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

    The Christmas Price Index has consistently reflected changes in the economy and continues to do so in the 20th anniversary version. The 2.4 percent year-over-year increase in the index closely mirrors that of the government’s Consumer Price Index – a widely used measure of U.S. inflation. Not only is the high cost of fuel reflected in the cost to deliver a pear tree, but this year’s index also underscores the trend to outsource labor. Skilled labor mentioned in the song, such as wages for the dancing ladies have increased 5.5 percent annualized over 20 years versus the maids-a-milking, which have only seen a 2.2 percent annualized pay raise. In the broader economy, the outsourcing of less skilled labor is helping to keep those wages low.

    “The Christmas Price Index reflects the changing economic mix in the U.S. away from manufacturing to a more service based economy,” said Jeff Kleintop, chief investment strategist for PNC Advisors. “The abundance of cheaper labor in countries such as India and China has resulted in pressure on U.S. manufacturers to outsource unskilled labor. As a result the cost of skilled dancers has steadily increased while the unskilled milk maids haven’t managed an increase in pay for their services in many years.”

    The supply and demand lessons of “Economics 101” are also apparent in this year’s Index. Take, for example, the 29.4 percent decrease in the price of the five gold rings. International demand has driven the commodity price of gold to all-time highs, but demand for plain gold rings in the U.S. has seen a significant drop, forcing retailers to lower prices in order to move merchandise. So those considering a trip to the jeweler to find that special gift this year may want to consider adding a little sparkle or you could find yourself standing in the return line on December 26th.

    The feathered friends in the song are flying at all altitudes and have proven to show the most fluctuation in price through the life of the index. The partridge and swans are relatively steady from last year according to the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden. However the price for French hens and geese saw significant increases, which may be due to fewer hatchlings during this breeding cycle creating an imbalance in the supply-demand chain. Turtle doves, on the other hand, may have had a more fruitful breeding cycle creating an oversupply of birds and a 31.0 percent decline in price. All told, the cost of the birds in the Christmas classic totaled $4,201, just 1.5 percent more than the $4,138 it would have cost a year ago.

    As part of its annual tradition, PNC Advisors also tabulates the “true cost of Christmas,” which is the total cost of all of the items in the famous carol, including the repetitions. The price tag for the 364 items this holiday season is $66,334 up from $65,264 in 2003. The 1.6 percent increase pales in comparison to last year’s 19 percent increase, which may be due to lower consumer confidence this season according to Kleintop.

    As in the past, most items are more expensive to buy over the Internet, primarily due to the cost of shipping, which continues to go up because of rising fuel costs.



    http://www.pncbank.com/12days/
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    Two different Australian versions of Twelve days of Christmas

    On the FIRST day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    A kookaburra in a gum tree.
    On the SECOND day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the THIRD day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the FOURTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the FIFTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the SIXTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the SEVENTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the EIGHTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Eight dingos dancing,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the NINTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Nine crocs a-snoozing?
    Eight dingos dancing,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the TENTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Ten wombats washing,
    Nine crocs a-snoozing?
    Eight dingos dancing,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the ELEVENTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Eleven lizards leaping,
    Ten wombats washing,
    Nine crocs a-snoozing?
    Eight dingos dancing,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.

    On the TWELFTH day of Christmas,
    My true love sent to me,
    Twelve possums playing,
    Eleven lizards leaping,
    Ten wombats washing,
    Nine crocs a-snoozing?
    Eight dingos dancing,
    Seven emus laying,
    Six sharks a-surfing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four lyrebirds,
    Three wet galahs,
    Two snakes on skis,
    And a kookaburra in a gum tree.


    On the FIRST day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me,
    An emu up a gum tree.
    On the SECOND day of Christmas
    My true sent to me,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the THIRD day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the FOURTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing
    Two pink galahs
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the FIFTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the SIXTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five Kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the SEVENTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the EIGHTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Eight dingoes digging,
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the NINTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Nine wombats working,
    Eight dingoes digging
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the TENTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Ten lizards leaping,
    Nine wombats working,
    Eight dingoes digging
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree.

    On the ELEVENTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Eleven numbats nagging,
    Ten lizards leaping,
    Nine wombats working,
    Eight dingoes digging,
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And a emu up a gum tree.

    On the TWELFTH day of Christmas
    My true love sent to me
    Twelve parrots prattling,
    Eleven numbats nagging,
    Ten lizards leaping,
    Nine wombats working,
    Eight dingoes digging,
    Seven possums playing,
    Six brolgas dancing,
    Five kangaroos,
    Four koalas cuddling,
    Three kookaburras laughing,
    Two pink galahs,
    And an emu up a gum tree!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    The Twelve Days of Christmas for Lovers
    From Sheri & Bob Stritof,


    A Practical Solution
    Consider giving gifts to your spouse on the Twelve Days of Christmas. Here's a more economical version than the original.


    On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five chocolate gold coins , four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight tasty cookies , a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten love songs to play , nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven passionate kisses, ten love songs to play, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.

    On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve no-chore coupons, eleven passionate kisses, ten love songs to play, nine hidden love notes, eight tasty cookies, a seven minute massage, six candy kisses, five chocolate gold coins, four telephone calls, three nice hugs, two blooming flowers, and a sweet kiss on my forehead.



    Today, the true cost of the original Twelve Days gifts would be around $60,000.

    However, our rendition costs just a fraction of that - less than $40.


    What you need to actually purchase or do:

    12 kisses on forehead (1 for 12 days)

    22 blooming flowers (2 for 11 days)

    30 hugs (3 for 10 days)

    36 phone calls (4 for 9 days)

    40 chocolate gold coins (5 for 8 days)

    42 candy kisses (6 for 7 days)

    6 7-minutes massages (1 for 6 days)

    40 cookies (8 for 5 days)

    36 love notes to hide around the house (9 for 4 days)

    30 love songs to play (10 for 3 days)

    22 passionate kisses (11 for 2 days)

    12 coupons for not having to do a chore around the house (12 for 1 day)


    HAVE FUN!!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    Drunk version of 12 Days Of Christmas...

    On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 2nd...2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 3rd...3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 4th...4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 5th... 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 6th...6 Blood Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 7th...7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 8th...8 Margaritas, 7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 9th...9 Manhattans, 8 Margaritas 7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 10th..10 Sex-on-the beaches,9 Manhattans 8 Margaritas 7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    On the 11th..11 Screaming Orgasms, 10 Sex-on-the beaches,9 Manhattans 8 Margaritas 7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Tea

    on the 12th..12 Alka-Seltzer, 11 Screaming Orgasms, 10 Sex-on-the beaches,9 Manhattans 8 Margaritas 7 Dry martinis, 6 Bloody Marys, 5 Cuervo Gold!! 4 Gin & Tonics, 3 Scotch and Sodas, 2 pints of Guinness, and a a glass of Long Island Iced Teeeeeeaaaaaaaa
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    How 'bout the Canadian version, as done by Bob & Doug?

    They only get to #8 before they get in an argument aboot where the donuts come in, but from 8 it goes:

    8 comic books
    7 packs of smokes
    6 packs of two-four
    5 golden toques
    4 pounds of Back Bacon
    3 french toast
    2 turtlenecks
    And a beer...in a tree.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    THE TWELVE BUGS OF CHRISTMAS

    On the first day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me

    See if they can do it again.

    On the second day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.


    On the third day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.


    On the fourth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the fifth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the sixth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the seventh day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the eighth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Find a way around it
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the ninth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Blame it on the hardware
    Find a way around it
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the tenth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Change the documentation
    Blame it on the hardware
    Find a way around it
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the eleventh day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Say it's not supported
    Change the documentation
    Blame it on the hardware
    Find a way around it
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.



    On the twelfth day of Beta Testing, WinBeta said to me
    Tell them it's a feature
    Say it's not supported
    Change the documentation
    Blame it on the hardware
    Find a way around it
    Say they need an upgrade
    Reinstall the software
    Ask for a dump
    Run with the debugger
    Try to reproduce it
    Ask them how they did it and
    See if they can do it again.
    Last edited by Jolie Rouge; 11-30-2004 at 10:07 PM.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (PARODY)
    (Alan Sherman)


    On the first day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    A Japanese transistor radio.

    On the second day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    Green polka dot pajamas,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.

    (It's a Nakashuma.)

    On the third day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
    Green polka dot pajamas,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.
    (It's the Mark IV model. That's the one that's discontinued.)

    On the fourth day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    A simulated alligator wallet,
    A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
    Green polka dot pajamas,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.

    (And it comes in a Leatherette case with holes in it. So you could listen right
    through the case.)

    On the fifth day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
    A simulated alligator wallet,
    A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
    Green polka dot pajamas,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.
    (And it has a wire with a thing on one end that you could stick in your ear, an
    d a thing on the other end that you can't stick anywhere because it's bent.)

    On the sixth day of Christmas,
    My true love gave to me,
    A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
    And all that other stuff,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.

    [Continue until . . . ]

    On the twelfth day of Christmas,
    Although it may seem strange;
    On the twelfth day of Christmas,
    I'm going to exchange:
    An automatic vegetable slicer that works when you see it on television but not w
    hen you get it home,
    A chromium combination manicure scissors and cigarette lighter,
    A pair of teakwood shower clogs,
    An indoor plastic birdbath,
    A pink satin pillow that says ``San Diego'' with fringe all around it,
    A hammered aluminum nutcracker,
    A statue of a lady with a clock where her stomach ought to be,
    A simulated alligator wallet,
    A calendar book with the name of my insurance man,
    Green polka dot pajamas,
    And a Japanese transistor radio.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (PC)

    On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
    potential-aquaintence-rape-survivor gave to me,

    TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming.

    ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
    members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in
    their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note...)

    TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
    ruling class system leaping,

    NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

    EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
    from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

    SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

    SIX enslaved fowl-Americans producing stolen nonhuman animal products,

    FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
    incarceration,

    (NOTE: after member of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw
    red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridige
    have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further
    animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been
    revised.)

    FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

    THREE deconstructionist poets,

    TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

    and a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    From the Democrats with Spine website:
    12 Days of Christmas Wednesday, December 19 2001 @ 04:35 PM EST Contributed by: Anonymous

    The 12 Days of Christmas On the first day of Christmas


    Conservatives sent to me

    One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the second day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the third day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the fourth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Four thousand Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the fifth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Five Stars of China,

    Four thousand bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    An One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the sixth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Six thousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four thousand bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the seventh day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four thousand Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the eighth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Eighty thousand starving children,

    Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four thousand Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the ninth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Nine thousand records sealed,

    Eighty thousand starving children, Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers, Five Stars of China,

    Four Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the tenth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Ten interest rate drops,

    Nine thousand records sealed,

    Eighty thousand starving children,

    Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the eleventh day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Eleven FBI spying,

    Ten interest rate drops,

    Nine thousand records sealed,

    Eighty thousand starving children,

    Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie

    On the Twelveth day of Christmas

    Conservatives sent to me

    Twelve months of hell,

    Eleven FBI spying,

    Ten interest rate drops,

    Nine thousand records sealed,

    Eighty thousand starving children,

    Seven million unemployed,

    Six tousand Mexican Truck Drivers,

    Five Stars of China,

    Four Bombs in Afghanistan,

    Three civil rights stolen,

    Two Towers destroyed,

    And One commander in thief Bushkie
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  11. #10
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    TWELVE WEEKS OF COUNTING
    by Dale Connelly, 12/15/00


    When the first votes were counted my true love said to me
    A dead even presidency!

    In the second round of counting my true love said to me
    Two candidates
    and a dead even presidency.

    By the third round of counting my true love said to me
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a dead even presidency.

    In the fourth round of counting my true love said to me
    Four under votes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a dead even presidency.

    In the fifth round of counting my true love said to me
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a contentious presidency.

    In the sixth round of counting my true love said to me
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a disputed presidency.

    In the seventh round of counting my true love said to me
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and an uncertain presidency.

    In the eighth round of counting my true love said to me
    Eight mangled ballots
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a pugnacious presidency.

    In the ninth round of counting my true love said to me
    Nine testy jurists
    Eight mangled ballots
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and an unhappy presidency.

    At the tenth round of counting my true love said to me
    Ten yakking anchors
    Nine testy jurists
    Eight mangled ballots
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a deflated presidency.

    By the eleventh round of counting my true love said to me
    Eleven Vote-A-Matics
    Ten yakking anchors
    Nine testy jurists
    Eight mangled ballots
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five dimpled chads
    Four undervotes
    Three punch cards
    Two candidates
    and a partisan presidency.

    In the last round of counting my true love sent to me
    Twelve olive branches
    Eleven Vote-A-Matics
    Ten yakking anchors
    Nine testy jurists
    Eight mangled ballots
    Seven preening pundits
    Six tasseled lawyers
    Five Dimpled Chads
    Four under votes
    Three punch cards
    two candidates
    And a peaceful, bi-partisan, non-confrontational, cooperative, productive, courteous, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent .... presidency
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #11
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Re: The Twelve Days of Christmas : Revisited & Revised

    The Twelve Days After Christmas
    by Jeannie West (12/22/92)


    On the first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight
    So I chopped the pear tree down
    And shot the partridge just for spite.

    On the second day after Christmas,
    I put on a pair of old gloves,
    And gently wrung the necks
    Of both those stupid turtle doves.

    On the third day after Christmas, my dear old mother got the croup
    So I took those 3 French hens,
    And made her some chicken soup.

    The 4 calling birds were a mistake,
    Their language was terribly obscene;
    Of course the 5 golden rings were fake:
    They turned my fingers green.

    On the sixth day after Christmas, extremely cold weather came around
    So I killed those 6 noisy geese
    and made a jacket filled with down.

    On the seventh day after Christmas, I shot those 7 swans a swimming
    I had to do it don't you see
    they was chasing all the women.

    On the eighth day after Christmas, I had milk up to my eyes
    and if that wasn't bad enough
    I had cow **** up to my thighs.

    On the ninth day after Christmas, I took a hammer to those pipes
    you'd have thought I killed the Pope
    if you heard those pipers gripe.

    On the tenth day after Christmas, I'd learned every dance there is to know
    so without a single guilty thought
    I threw those dancing ladies out in the snow.

    But there is one thing I will admit
    about those 11 Lords a leaping
    and 12 drummers drumming
    I'm not crazy, those I'm keeping!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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