An Appalachian Night Before Christmas
short version
Twas the night before Christmas, and all throught the hills,
not a creature was stirrin, cept up by the still.
Wubba was crying cause Don, Guv, and Moose was in jail,
in three separate corners tellin each other to go to mmm...
When up on the rooftop landed, to Gypsy's delight,
eight flying monkeys, each holding a light.
With Al in a kilt, standing behind the reins,
handing out leaflets cussin MTR in refrain.
And up from the kitchen where Donna's cookies were mixed,
with little pieces of cash crops, whisperin their attitudes will be fixed.
(And yall wondered what was hangin in Cameron's barn.)
With ER writing words, our hearts for to light,
sayin Merry Christmas to all, and too all a good fight.
And again .....
Twas The Night Before Christmas In Appalachia
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the home place,
Nary a creature was stirrin', not even a trace.
The stockings were hung with care over the mantle
In hopes that they would be filled by Santa.
The youngins' were asleep in their beds,
While dreams of peppermint taffy filled their heads.
And Mamma in her flannels, sound asleep,
I dare not make a noise, not even a peep.
When out in the yard I heard such a clatter,
I ran to the window to see what was the matter.
As I wiped the frost from the glass,
I saw what looked like a bright red flash.
The moon was bright on the new snow,
It was as bright as day, everything was aglow,
What I saw, I just couldn't believe,
My eyes were afoolin' me, my senses took leave.
A little fat man on a big red sleigh,
And eight big deer who seemed eager to be play.
When Ole Blue began to bark,
The old man whistled and called out in the dark.
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid!, On Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
And then before I knew it, I heard them on the roof.
I just knew my cabin wouldn't hold all those hooves.
As I wiped the sweat from my brow with my hand,
Down the chimney came this little fat man.
He was dressed in fur and smelled like soot,
Smoke filled the room and fire snapped at his foot.
He jumped from the fire place and straightened his back,
And pulled some toys out of his sack.
As he began to place the gifts under the tree,
I felt as if he was watching me.
His eyes were bright and his cheeks were rosy.
His long white beard looked like Uncle Poseys.
He had a pink nose and a real fat belly,
That seemed to shake like Grandma's fresh strawberry jelly.
He looked at me and gave me a smile,
I knew then he would only be here for a while.
He filled the stockings and then turned around,
Tipped his cap and without a sound,
Sprang up through the chimney to the top,
Climbed on his sleigh with a flop.
Those deer knew exactly what to do,
Up they went and away they flew.
But I heard him holler as he flew out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL, AND Y'ALL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!"