Thread: Ask For It!

Winston Churchill said, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills."

Like humorist Bob Orben added, "That sounds a lot like our family vacations." And for some people it sounds like everyday life.

The problem is not whether families should have conflict - of course they will! The problem is rather whether or not those conflicts will end. For some people, living in families is like the Hundred Year War. Conflict that has a good ending can bring people closer together, but fighting that goes on and on will only tear families apart.

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."



Families are like baseball teams. The only way a family will win is as a team.

They win pulling together; they never win pushing against each other.

If your family has conflict – talk it out. Then when it's over, let it really be over so you can pull together. That is the only way your family will win!


By Steve Goodier © 2004


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P.S. "In anger, the tongue works faster than the mind." -- Unknown

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

Did you hear about the man who attempted skydiving for the first time? His parachute didn't open. Then his auxiliary chute failed. Now he found himself in free fall with no more options.

Then a strange thing happened. He spotted something coming up towards him from the ground at a high rate of speed. It was a man! When he was sure they would pass one another without a collision, he shouted down to the figure, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"

"No!" the man called back. "Do you know anything about gas stoves?"



A little bit of technological knowledge could have been helpful in both cases. But it has never just been about how much we know.

I read that the world's body of knowledge doubled from 1900 to 1950. In other words, knowledge that took thousands of years to accumulate doubled in only fifty years. It then doubled again between 1950 and 1965. In just fifteen years. It is estimated that the world's body of knowledge doubled once more between 1965 and 1970 and now doubles every five years.

Amazing! We can never keep up with all there is to learn.

But perhaps more important than how much any of us knows is how consistently we act on the knowledge we have. We certainly need enough knowledge to live fruitful and constructive lives, but even knowledge will not serve well if we neglect to use it.

You may know that material things don't bring lasting happiness.
Will you actively pursue things of the heart and spirit?

You may know peace comes when you forgive.
Will you decide to put down that grudge and leave it behind?

You may know that any decision made from fear alone is likely to be wrong.
Will you choose the path of courage, even if that path seems hard to navigate?

Most of us know important principles about effective living.
But in the end, what we know to be true is of no consequence - the decisions we make are everything. And if we apply well even the little we know, we can be healthy, happy and hopeful.


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This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : TOUCHING MOMENTS : 60-second readings that touch the mind and heart.]



"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target." -- Ashleigh Brilliant

AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY

Ralph Waldo Emerson has accurately said, "One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year."

Today is an important day. That problem you solve, that decision you make, that time you enjoy can shape your whole life. The way you and I ap*proach today, and each day, is crucial. Our lives are built by a series of days like today.

I discovered an affirmation that can help in living each day fully:


Today I will live through the next 24 hours and not try to tackle all of life's problems at once.

Today I will improve myself , body, mind and spirit.

Today I will refuse to spend time worrying about what might happen if...

Today I will not imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not dif*ferent. I will do my best with what material I have.

Today I will find the grace to let go of resentments of others and self-condemnation over past mistakes.

Today I will not try to change, or improve, anybody but me.

Today I will act toward others as though this will be my last day on earth.

Today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy what is beauti*ful, and I will be*lieve that as I give to the world, the world will give to me.


Whether these are the best of times or the worst of times, these are the only times we've got. Live each day fully and you will look back on a life that made a difference.


__________

[i]
This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : JOY ALONG THE WAY : 60-second readings that make the trip worthwhile









P.S. "A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving."
-- Tao saying

NOT "SKEERED OF DYIN'"

Economist Jeremy Gluck speculated on US Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan's epitaph. He decided it would probably read something like this: "I am guardedly optimistic about the next world, but remain cognizant of the downside risk."

Though many people feel at peace about their own eventual death, others are concerned about the possible "downside risk." One of humankind's greatest fears is around death and the process of dying. Like the song "Old Man River" says:



"Ah gits weary an' sick of tryin'.
"Ah'm tired of liven' an' skeered of dyin'."


Some people believe that the most basic of human fears is the fear of death. "Skeered of dyin'." Maybe you feel it, too. In his later years, John Quincy Adams once remarked, "I inhabit a weak, frail, decayed tenement battered by the winds and broken in on by the storms, and from all I can learn, the landlord does not intend to repair."

Though he may have held out no hope that he would not die, he approached his own death with acceptance and a remarkable lack of concern. When the elderly statesman fast approached his 80th birthday, he succinctly related his philosophy of death. The occasion happened as he hobbled down the street one day in his favorite city of Boston, leaning heavily on a cane, and a friend suddenly approached and slapped him on the shoulder. "Well, how's John Quincy Adams this morning?" the friend inquired.

The old man turned slowly, smiled and replied, "Fine, sir, fine! But this old tenement that John Quincy lives in is not so good. The underpinning is about to fall away. The thatch is all gone off the roof, and the windows are so dim John Quincy can hardly see out anymore. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't surprise me if, before the winter's over, he had to move out. But as for John Quincy Adams, he never was better...never was better!"



I have spent much of my life around death. I have sat with people as they died. I have listened to others relate near-death experiences. I have studied theology and am aware of what scriptures and religions say about life and death. And I have come to the conclusion that death is not to be feared. Moreover, when it is time for me to move out of this tenement in which I am housed, I will to look forward to it joyfully. I will say, "I never was better...never was better!"


Who is ready to live who is not ready to die?


__________


This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : A LIFE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE : 60-second readings that truly matter


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P.S. "A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to
him." -- Brendan Francis

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates, of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees; a dad who never calls.

There were daddys along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.
"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me, though we are apart,
I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here, but heavens just too far.
You see he was a fireman and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddys and children, all starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt
Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

STICK TOGETHER

An old story is told of two men who went fishing in a small boat. The day was uneventful until one of them hooked a huge fish, which, in the strug*gle, pulled him overboard! He couldn't swim and began to panic.

"Help!" he yelled. "Save me!"

The friend reached over and grabbed the man by the hair to pull him closer to the boat. But when he tugged, the man's toupee came off and he slipped down under the water again.

He came up shouting, "Hey, help me! I can't swim!"

So the friend reached down again and this time latched onto the struggling man's arm. But when he pulled, the arm came off! It was an arti*fi*cial limb.

The drowning man continued to kick and thrash around and his friend reached out a third time. This time he grabbed a leg and pulled. You guessed it -- he pulled off a wooden leg!

The man continued splashing and sputter*ing and calling out, "Help me!" and the friend fi*nally called back in disgust, "How can I help you if you won't stick together?"


Similarly, how can people in marriages and families be helped when they won't stick to*gether? How can churches, schools and businesses get anywhere when they won't stick together? And how can a nation function well when it can't stick together?

None of us lives in isolation. This life is a group outing. And some conflict along the way is inevitable. But when we stick together, beauti*ful things can hap*pen.

If you feel as if things in your life are fal*ling apart, maybe it is because the people in your life are not sticking together!


__________


This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : [u]ONE MINUTE CAN CHANGE A LIFE : 60-second readings of hope and encouragement.






"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death."
-- Mame Dennis in Auntie Mame

Are you using one of your greatest assets?

One of your greatest assets is...your imagination!

In his book THE WINNER'S EDGE, writer Denis Waitley tells of high school basketball players who were divided into three groups. Group One was told not to practice shooting free throws for one month. Group Two was told to practice shooting free throws in the gym every afternoon for a month. Group Three was told to "imagine" shooting free throws every afternoon for one hour for a month.

The results? Group One slipped slightly in their percentage free-throw average. Group Two increased about two percentage points. Group Three also increased about two percentage points.

Do you want to excel at some endeavor? Or perhaps improve or change something about yourself? Is there a skill you'd like to perfect? Or maybe you want to replace your fear of something, such as speaking in public or heading up a project, with more confidence and courage. If so, then mental practice, visioning success, is as important as physical practice. The time you spend "seeing" in your mind what you are trying to accomplish actually helps to bring it to pass.

Imagine your success. Visualize doing that thing you fear. Get it in your mind. Then imagine your success in that area again and again, like free throws going into the basket. In a short time, you'll likely discover that things really did change for you!

Anatole France said, "To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything." Whatever you desire begins in the mind. You can IMAGINE what will follow!

--Steve Goodier

LIVING FULLY

Do you feel your life is all it can be?

Do you yearn for life to be fuller?

A friend once re*cited this poem to me:

There once was a cautious gal,
who never romped or played;
She never drank, she never smoked,
from the path she never strayed.

So when she passed away
the insurance was denied;
For since she never really lived
they claimed she never died!


Of course, I don't think these behaviors de*scribe quality living, but I do think most people want to experience life as fully as possible. This has always been the case. Even two thousand years ago, Jesus, that great lover of life, recog*nized our universal yearning for life when he said, "I have come that they might have life and have it more abundantly."

And, of course, "romping," "playing," and "straying from the path" have little to do with how fully one experiences life. Abundant living is more about how we love the other people on this planet, how we care for ourselves and how well we honor our God. It has to do with joy and laughter, kind*ness, forgiveness and peace. It means taking time for what is truly necessary.

One man was asked if he believed in life after death. His wife spoke first. "Life after death?" she said. "He doesn't even believe in life after dinner!"

I believe in life after death. But I also be*lieve in life before death.

Abundant and full and beginning today.

__________


This reading can be found in Steve Goodier's book: "RICHES OF THE HEART : Sixty-Second Readings that Make a Difference"

YOU ARE ONE OF US

Salt Lake City, Utah, is a worldwide center for genealogical research. Even the big department stores sell genealogy supplies.

One newcomer to Salt Lake City, and a non-researcher, got a job as a clerk at one of those big department stores. She received her introduction to genealogy one day when a customer came into the store and asked, "Where do I find the family group sheets?"

The new clerk, with a shocked look on her face, answered, "Family group sheets? All we carry are the king, queen, double and twin-size sheets."




Maybe family sized bedding is taking closeness a bit far! But having family or close friends is one of the essential needs of all people. We long for emotional support and intimacy.

Most of us are familiar with studies that have shown that people suffering from cancer or vascular problems have a higher survival rate when they enjoy a strong support system of family and friends. People need people.

Moreover, a supportive wider community can also be important. Not long ago, scores of people gathered on a California beach, lighting candles and lifting voices in song. Mostly strangers to one another, they came there to grieve the loss of 88 persons who died when a jetliner crashed into the ocean off their coast. They were not even family and friends of the victims - simply concerned residents who cared.

"Your joy, your pain, your loss, your gain - are ours...for you are one of us."

That is the powerful message of family. At its best, even an Internet family can help fill our need for closeness. Your joy, your pain, your loss, your gain - can be shared. You belong. And together, we'll celebrate it! Or, we will get through it.


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This reading is found in Steve Goodier's popular book : "PRESCRIPTION FOR PEACE : 60-second readings to help you build a better life."

[b] The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched - ~ Helen Keller




the pickle jar

The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents' bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar. As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty.

Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled. I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar and admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window. When the jar was filled, Dad would sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank. Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production. Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old
truck. Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully. "Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You're going to do better than me. This old mill town's not going to hold you back." Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly. "These are for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like me." We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. I always got chocolate. Dad always got vanilla. When the clerk at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm. "When we get home, we'll start filling the jar again." He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar. As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each other. "You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters," he said. "But you'll get there. I'll see to that."

The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom, and noticed that the pickle jar was gone. It had served its purpose and had been removed. A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood. My dad was a man of few words, and never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done.

When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy. In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my dad had loved me. No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar. To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup over my beans to make them morepalatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me. "When you finish college, Son," he told me, his eyes glistening, "You'll never have to eat beans again...unless you want to."

The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms. "She probably needs to be changed," she said, carrying the baby into my parents' bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes. She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room. "Look," she said softly, her eyes directing me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins. I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket,and pulled out a fistful of coins. With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar. I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.

This truly touched my heart... I know it has yours as well. Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life, for better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.



Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

CELEBRITY QUIP

If you're riding' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there.

-- Will Rogers, humorist



FAMILY

It would seem that something which means
poverty, disorder and violence
every single day
should be avoided entirely,
but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

-- Phyllis Diller
"Flybaby"




FAVORITE QUOTE

I don't care how poor a man is;
if he has family, he's rich.

-- Colonel Potter from "M*A*S*H,"