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Instructions on Consumer Goods from Around the World
In an American guide to setting up a new computer: TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was on the INSIDE of the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids: LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
On several hair dryer and curling irons: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos: YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
On a bar of Dial soap: DIRECTIONS: USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On some Swann frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
On Tesco's tiramisu dessert: DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (printed on bottom of the box)
On Boots' children's cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
On Nytol sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
On a Japanese food processor: NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
On a child's Superman costume: WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
On a Swedish chain saw: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists: REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU
On a Korean kitchen knife: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
On an Indonesian packet of nuts: OPEN PACKET AND EAT CONTENTS
On a pack of Sainsbury's (UK) salted peanuts: WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS
On a Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE
On a Marks and Spencer's (UK) bread and butter pudding: WARNING: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT
On an Aussie iron: WARNING: NEVER IRON CLOTHES ON THE BODY.
On a New Zealand insect spray: THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
Laissez les bon temps rouler! 
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! 
Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?
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09-03-2003 01:40 PM
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